Banana Slicers

I know that I’m new to this world. But seriously, after finding out about the ostentatious wastes of money that exist, I thought I’d seen it all.

As it turns out, I was wrong. Horrifyingly wrong. Because, well, you see…



Banana slicers. You heard me. Designed to make perfectly even banana slices. Because knives are too dangerous for this fruit. Ten Dollars.

Oh, my…

“Oh, my” is the right response. I mean, have you even seen the reviews? A ninja who used to make money by perfectly slicing bananas for celebrities (top of the 1 star reviews)? I think I may have lost all faith in your-

-Oh, those are hilarious!

What’s hilarious?

Oh, sorry Fluffy. Um, you see, most of those reviews are written very tongue-in-cheek, and are definitely worth a read. Don’t worry, our world isn’t actually full of people who care too much about perfectly sliced bananas.

Wait, you don’t care?

Umm… Should I?

So, those reviews aren’t serious? Your world doesn’t actually care about perfectly sliced bananas?

Uh, no?

How can you not CARE? They’re bananas! They’re designed as a mental challenge: How can you perfectly slice them, to the optimal thickness! And… you don’t care!

… What just happened?

Nothing. I was just staying in practice for if I ever go back to acting.


But seriously. Knowing that those are tongue in cheek helps a bit. But who comes up with a banana slicer in the first place?

People on too much sugar and caffeine?

Fair enough.

Anyways, readers, have a great day!

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This entry was posted in fluffy, money, pointless, procrastinate, real world on by .

About Fluffy McGiggles

Greetings, reader! I am Fluffy McGiggles. In my world, I was an actress of the strongest sort, the melodramatic sort. Recently, I find myself confined to this... website, as its anthrompomorphization and personality. The Webmaster and I have a bit of a dispute as to how this should be run. The Webmaster can change anything I do, but I can also change anything the Webmaster does. However, the Webmaster can also delete me at will. So that means I'm temporarily behaving myself. This is my own choice, however, contrary to anything The Webmaster may say. So, don't blame me for the over-the-topness of the website. You have been warned.

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