Scary Things / Halloween Decorations 2: College Websites

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Hello again, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

So… your next post in the “scary things” series- is it on greeting people? And wishing them a happy Monday in a too cheerful manner?

…No. But that’s actually a good idea! Maybe I’ll do that next year.

Today’s post is actually about one of the genuinely scariest things on the face of this earth:

College Websites.

Pause for a moment. Think about it. You know it’s true. Especially if you’ve tried to navigate one before.

You know what? You’re actually right. Those things are scary.

Thanks, Fluffy! It’s nice to have outside confirmation.

How College Websites are Scary

1) You get lost too easily. Frequently, a college or university website is nothing more than a set of miniature websites jammed together into a “single” website. There’s no rhyme or reason, and broken links abound.

2) You can’t even find anything. Seriously. Most of the time, rather than actually using the site to find someone, like a specific professor’s website or anything, I use Google. Here’s a useful tip for you, actually: If at the beginning of your Google search you put (site:sitename.ending keyword1) that tells Google to search just that site. So for example, if you want to find information about getting a Ph.D from Harvard in economics, you’d type site:harvard.edu phd economics . It helps. It’s certainly a lot easier than trying to click your way around to the econ department site!

3) They can determine your future. If you can’t find out how to apply to an undergraduate program, you can’t go to that program for your degree. If the site crashes as you’re trying to upload an application or trying to pay for an application, it might not work. Then your application wouldn’t go through, and you won’t get into the school, and your life might be worse off.

4) They suck away your money. Applications are expensive. College websites are responsible for applications and charging you for them. So therefore the university websites take your money from you.

In other words, college websites are scary, and totally worth being used as Halloween decorations.

…Ok, you got me. How do you use a website as decoration?

I’m glad you asked!

Using A College Website as Halloween Decorations

There are several ways you could do this.

1) Print off the homepage. Some universities should seriously reconsider the graphics artists they invested in. Just looking at the homepage is enough to make one cringe.

…says the person who designed a site to look like a baby-yarn star exploded onto the web.

This website’s at least tasteful, ok?

It’s not like a school that uses pictures of the grounds in the background… in such a way that the pictures can’t even be seen fully.

Oh Redevki. Some school sites actually do that?

“Redevki”?

Oh, sorry. It’s a mild expletive on my world. It’s comparable to your “Oh My”, but a little bit stronger.

Ah.

But yes. I’m not going to inflict that link upon you. Needless to say, though, it would make a halloween decoration too scary to behold.

2) Print off the 404 links on pages that you need to access. Then paint an evil face on it. Maybe fold it, and make it look as though it’s coming to eat your soul. I tell you, the 404 errors will get you every time.

Weird… You’re actually writing stuff I agree with this post.

It had to happen some time. Don’t get used to it.

3) Create a slideshow of the code. Especially areas where the website uses any sort of inline styling. I realize this just went over the heads of anyone who doesn’t do website stuff, but trust me: it will make every (decent) web developer cringe to look at.

3b) Draw bugs over your slides of the code. That way you can demonstrate genuine bugs in the code. This gives you the added bonus of the evilness of a pun!

4) Require guests for a party to print off a particular page that you describe as their ticket. Or as the way they get candy. Granted, this isn’t strictly decoration related. It’s still Halloween themed, though, so I’m including it.

But there you go, fluffsters! Some more information about the scariness known as university websites.

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