Category Archives: ANIMALS!

Chickens

Today, I read this article about chickens. You might want to check it out.

Ok, back yet? Isn’t that interesting? I had no idea that chickens ate egg shells… Or eggs, or chicken… That’s just bizarre.

Although that does bring me to a random question. If “we are what we eat”, doesn’t that make us all cannibals?

What?

Yes. If Cannibalism is eating “what you are”, then you are, by definition, eating what you will be, which means that you’re eating what you are, which means that we are all cannibals.

… Yes, Webmaster. Whatever you say.

What? Really?

No. I was just trying to get you to stop this post before anything more awkward came up.

Says the person who objected to Pride and Prejudice

Anyways, happy Wednesday, everyone! I hope your week has been going well.

Extreme Shepherding: Extreme Sports got Fluffier

Hello, everyone!

I just saw one of the best. things. ever. Seriously. You need to watch this:

Wow. I don’t know what to say…

I know! Amazing, right?

Actually, I was thinking more “and you judge me for liking Pad Thai videos?”

Hey! Sheep, at least, are fluffy. Pad Thai isn’t very.

Oh, fine. I guess that there is more visible fluff in shepherding.

Thank you.

So, readers, what did you think? Have you ever seen extreme shepherding before? Or a fluffy extreme sport of any sort?

Distracting Pictures

So, Webmaster…

Yes, Fluffy?

Given that you haven’t written the post for March 5th yet, does that mean I get to again?

Oh, right! I haven’t written anything yet. Hmm. I mean…

LOOK! A DISTRACTION!

Distraction Squirrel.

SQUIRREL!!

So, even though you didn’t write anything, you won’t let me write actual content for the post?

Nope.

Hmpf.

Ooh, I’ve got another perfect image for that!

Owl staring angrily at you

Fluffy Owl is not Amused

Really, you even decided to name the owl after me?

Well, doesn’t he look a bit like how you feel?

Ok, fair enough. But this still doesn’t make up for the lack of content.

Maybe not, but it worked, didn’t it?

Anyways, have a great day, folks!

My Pet Peeves

You know one of the things I miss the most about home? (Besides real content, that is?)

No… Do I want-

-My pet Peeves.

What? Why do you miss your pet peeves? Aren’t most people glad to leave them?

But she was so cute!

What? I think I’m missing something. Just to clarify, what are you missing?

My pet. Peeves the Horpady.

You named your pet Peeves?

Yup.

And what do Horpadies look like, anyways?

This:

Sketch of a Horpady

Horpady Sketch

Well, sort of. Clearly, I don’t do the thing justice.

Interesting looking animal. Not quite what I expected from your description…

Well, they are a lot cuter in person. But yeah, Peeves liked to ride around on my shoulder. She was the sweetest.

Horpady on a shoulder sketch

Sketch of a Horpady on a shoulder

Again, not the best representation. But it gets the size across.

I can totally understand missing a pet. The pets I grew up with are back with my parents. I’m not there.

But I’ll get to see them soon.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll still be able to see Peeves again.

That would be nice. I missing playing pranks on my brother. Did I mention that you can train Horpadies to be the most annoying things in the world?

No. You didn’t. Maybe it’s just as well Peeves isn’t with you… I don’t know if I could deal with two annoying entities in the website!

Ooh, great idea! I hadn’t even considered trying to bring Peeves or another Horpady here! Thank you Webmaster!

Dangit. I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?

If it works, most definitely.

Anyways, thank you for reading! Happy Friday, everyone!

How do YOU feel about Muffin Flavored Shrimp?

Webmaster, what is with that title?

It’s descriptive of what I’m going to be talking about, of course!

I thought that it had been too long since I went around terrorizing asking people I know random questions, so I decided the situation must be rectified. That was also helped, of course, by the fact that a perfect, totally random question came to me.

And it has to do with “muffin flavored shrimp”? Brassicae, I don’t think I want to know…

Oh, it’s not that bad. I was simply having a meal with friends, and somehow a variety of random words came into the conversation that turned into a delightful question. So, I went around asking people, “How do you feel about muffin flavored shrimp of the paintball variety that have been defenestrated after being exsanguinated?

Bwah? What does that even MEAN?

Well, working backwards: Exsanguinated means being completely drained of blood. To defenestrate someone is to throw them out of a window. And then I’m not entirely sure what shrimp “of the paintball variety” would be, but muffin-flavored shrimp would be odd.

Exsanguinated Defenistrated Muffin Flavored Shrimp

Exsanguinated Defenestrated Muffin Flavored Shrimp

Anyways, some of the answers were very amusing:

Answers

  • Wait, muffin flavored SHRIMP?
  • No, just no.
  • Who paid you to ask me this?
  • Ah, those poor unfortunates. Their situation is truly discouraging; they really need representation, and a voice amongst the people!
  • No. I’ve seen the kind of muffins you eat.
  • *confused noises*
  • Cooked or raw?
  • I think someone needs psychoanalytical counseling.
  • Why were the shrimp defenestrated? I mean, everything else makes sense, but why would you throw them out the window?
  • Well, I’m not particularly fond of shrimp. But I do like muffins, and I’m always in favor of defenestration and exsanguination. So on the whole, I’d say I have a positive reaction.
  •  Why are you a) draining the shrimp of blood, b) throwing them out a window? and c) WHAT THE BLOODY [] DID YOU PUT IN YOUR ORANGE JUICE?
  • You know, from what I understand, the counseling center is actually pretty good
  • That’s gross
  • I’m all for them!
  • I think that it’s a gross violation of shrimp’s rights. Freezing them and eating them is one thing, but this is something else entirely. I think that we should take a stand against this!
  • Not very useful…
  • It’s good that they’ve been drained of blood first.
  • If I knew what they were, I’m sure I’d be for it.
  • No. Just no. Muffins are supposed to be lightly textured and sweet. Shrimp are supposed to be meaty and salty. You can’t do that. It’s like… like ketchup and ice cream.
  • I don’t know, but they definitely would not be accepted by a finite state automata.
  • As long as there are enough teeth, I’m interested.
  • at this point, they are inedible because they have been thrown on the ground.
  • I’m not sure. I’m not a fan of shrimp to begin with, so the muffin flavor wouldn’t help.

What did that person mean, “I’ve seen the kind of muffins you eat?”

Oh, look at the length! I guess that muffins will need to wait until another post.

Anyways, dear readers, what is your response to this question?

Pet Products

Your world… It has weird priorities.

You’ve mentioned… What sparks the comment this time?

How your world treats pets. If you have money, anyways.

I mean, never mind the earrings or staples from your first post. How about spending $4 million for a dog tiara?

Hmm. That is a bit pricy…

Agreed.

But the thing that bothers me the most, is how on earth did that one dude train his dog to submit to a retinal scanner?

So, people are spending thousands, even millions of dollars on their pets, and the thing that bothers you is training the dog?

I think it’s official; you’re hopeless.

Anyways, readers, Happy Monday! Have a great week.

My Favorite Ways to Procrastinate

Haha! I’ve finally beaten Fluffy to a Daily Fluff again.

Anyways, hello!

I’m sure most of you are human. As such, I’m also fairly sure that you sometimes want a way to procrastinate do something that may help you avoid doing something tedious that you probably ought to be doing. Or maybe you just need a way to take your mind off of stuff, and laugh. Well, I’m here to help you find some good ways to do that!

First of all, one of my favorite blogs: Cakewrecks. This is a blog devoted to cakes.

Cakes. How enthralling.

No need to be sarcastic, Fluffy. These aren’t just any cakes. No. These are Cakes that have been professionally made, but look… less than perfect. Or are just bizarre. (There are some very well done cakes that are just odd. Trust me.) I know it may not sound like a normal way to spend time, and it’s not! It’s funny and awesome. There have been several times that I’ve burst out laughing. Not only are the cakes amusing, but the commentary is phenomenal.

If you’ve already seen Cakewrecks and are caught up, one of the webcomics that I follow is Darths & Droids. This is especially for Star Wars & Gaming fans. The background is also quite amusing: What if Star Wars were actually a role play game, where none of the players knew about the universe? They start off with Phantom Menace, and are (as of right now) in the process of going through New Hope. This is another hilarious way to spend time. Seriously, there have been times I’ve about died of laughter. (Be sure to read the comments right after the comic. The creators give “tips” on how to run a RPG.)

In the category of “cute”, cuteoverload is always a good choice. I mean really, who can say no to pictures of adorable animals?

Do they have pictures of Horpadies?

I’ve never even heard of those. So no. What are they?

You don’t have Horpadies on your world? What a shame. They’re the cutest creature known to our world. They’re small, fuzzy, have these hugely oversized wings, and are known to melt people’s hearts. If they can be tamed, they make great pets. Of course, if they aren’t tamed they’re amazing predators.

Oh. We have something similar. They don’t have wings, and they aren’t always good pets, but they’re called “Polar Bear Cubs.” Or maybe “wolf puppies.” I think that site has some pictures and videos of both.

Back to the more geeky, another webcomic that my sister introduced me to is Girl Genius. This is a steampunk style amazing comic. First of all, it’s all about mad scientists. How can you beat that? Second, it totally brings to life a new world, with different cultures. There are monsters that have to have the right hat (and speak in a definite accent), there’s a castle that is alive and has an evil sense of humor, and there’s one scene that is about coffee. In a hilarious, “oh my heavens I need to read that again” sort of way. And the art is also phenomenal. Heads up, it takes a little bit to get into, but it’s well worth it. And they’re still updating every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So that’s a plus. (Or a minus, depending on whether you prefer reading a finished story, or there still being more to read.)

Last for today, again in the category of “cute”, Simon’s Cat videos are also amazing. I’ve never owned a cat, but I’ve been around enough to realize that these animated shorts fully capture the epitome of “cat”. And they’re just darling. I think I watched “Let Me In” multiple times in a row the first time I saw it. It’s absolutely priceless.

I hope you find something to help keep you entertained!

The Poetry of Bees

I recently remembered a poem I composed a while ago for my sister’s benefit. I think I’m going to share it with you.

I think that I shall never see

a person who is like a bee.

For bees are striped and we are not,

Although we sometimes do wear spots.

Thank you.

If you haven’t already, you’re going to give someone nightmares.

Smudgy Unicorn

Towards the end of last year, I started to work a bit on some artsy-ish stuff. One of my more recent ones is a Unicorn I did in the same colors as TotalFluff.

Pastel Colored Smudgy Unicorn

Smudgy Unicorn in Pastels

Webmaster, you really need to work on getting some content…

But… this is content! After all, a picture’s worth 1000 words, right?

Not where I’m from. Seriously, you need to work on getting content.

But isn’t that your self-proclaimed job? To give this site content?

That’s just because you won’t. I do need to take care of myself.

That’s beside the point. The point of this post is that I drew a picture, and I thought it was fluffy enough to share. 🙂

Anyways, have a great day!

Indeed. Please try to have a great day. Despite the Webmaster’s post…

Puppy dogs!

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve beaten Fluffy to a “Daily Fluff” post! Anyways, don’t worry. I haven’t actually disappeared.

Darn.

Hey, be nice.

Anyways, I’m here to fix a serious wrong: there still aren’t enough cute animal pictures. And there aren’t really any hosted on this webpage.
I’m going to slightly fix this.

Two fluffy white dogs.

The one on the left is about half-Bichon, half-poodle. The grumpy one on the right is pure-bread Bichon

 

Wait, those are dogs?

Of course. What did you think they were?

Well, back home we call them “cotton-balls”

Anywho, have a great day!