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Gee, not thinking of any particular ideas for your Fluff Posts, Webmaster?
But just tonight’s. Until inspiration hit. (Spoiler alert.) Because, you see, I realized what I could write abou- Oops. more spoilers. Sorry.
I should probably just start the post.
If it even qualifies as a post…
Hey! Of course it does! But that’s another digression. So, without further ado:
Instructions for writing the fluff post for July 23, 2013
1) Look at the clock. Realize that it’s only 9:00pm on the 22nd. (12:00am on the 23rd Fluff Time.) You’ve got plenty of time to start spinning some yarn/thread/stuff before you need to start writing a fluff post! It’s a whole nine hours before it needs to be up and ready!
2) Lose track of time while wasting time. Look up at the clock again at about 11:00pm. Realize you’ve still got a bit of time before you were planning on going to bed.
3) Make some tea, and start thinking about the Fluff Topic. I would go with coffee, but that takes work. These days, for writing stuff, I’m going with Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. (I’ve always wanted to say that! Yay!)
Huh, yeah! I have just achieved a life goal! That’s fun!
But back to the list.
3b) “brainstorm”. Otherwise known as look around the internet, wander your current location aimlessly, and maybe read a book. All to get “inspired”, of course.
By this time, it’s a bit after midnight. You meant to go to bed about 15 minutes ago. Woops. Time to start thinking in earnest…
4) Focus. Fabric. Fabric is a good option- it’s fluffy, right?. Go to fabric.com to drool over all the fabrics available online that you can’t afford yet. Well, that you might be able to afford, but realize that you just bought about 5-10 yards of fabric recently that you haven’t started to use yet, and realize that you really shouldn’t get any more fabric. Even if it’s penguin printed fabric. More to the point, penguin printed fabric that would match your penguin socks perfectly.
I wonder if I could justify making a skirt out of this? Do I have any shirts that would work? Is it bad form to use flannels like that for adult(ish) apparel! Can I justify buying any of the fabric? Can I even afford how much it would take? ($13 a yard? No thanks!)
And I’m digressing again.
4b) Realize you can’t use fabric.com exclusively for your fluff post. Especially if you haven’t actually ordered anything from there (which I personally haven’t.) Besides, there’ve been enough posts on this blog about other websites already.
5) Stare at your messy counters. Realize that you’ve already written a post about how to messify any surface in just a few simple steps… there goes that stroke of inspiration.
6) Realize that you just passed your 175th blog post, so can’t even write about that. (Yay Fluff, though! Over 175 posts, and almost 6 months of daily blogging! Woohoo!)
7) Realize that what doesn’t kill you gives you stories. (Ooh, I should make a cafepress design out of that! I’ll let you know if I do.)
8) Enter Inspiration: Decide to write about writing a fluff post. The day is saved! And it’s only 12:30 am- still only about a half hour after “the latest I’m going to bed tonight, period.” (Hah!)
9) Get sidetracked by a conversation with Fluffy about what this post is going to be about. And give spoilers. You can’t forget the spoilers.
10) Start writing. Get up to point ten (Hey, look at that!) and wonder whether you should include pictures in your post.
11) Decide yes, and then decide to ignore that decision. And the sudden itch in your fingers to pick up a pen and try to figure out how to illustrate this post.
12) Realize that it’s almost 1:00am, and that you can always update the post later.
13) finish the post, have the final conversation with Fluffy (if it happens), double check everything, realize that you’re linking to this post in this post, yadda yadda, schedule for the post to go up at 9:00am on July 23rd, decide that you’ve gotten too little sleep and should therefore go to bed, follow through on that decision, and get ready for bed. And hopefully end up actually getting some sleep. (This hasn’t happened yet as I’m writing. It will hopefully have happened by the time you’re reading. Because time is weird like that, and so are blogs and stuff.)
So there you go, Fluffsters! That’s how to write today’s post in 13 circuitous steps. Happy Tuesday!
Wait, what about the final conversation with me? It didn’t happen!
You mean the one we’re having now?
I think it sort of slipped my mind.
Anyways, as I was saying, happy Tuesday! I hope you have a fantastic week!
14) Waffles) Realize that somewhere in there you took a screencap of how this post is the 1337-est post yet. Insert that picture, and an ambiguous timeframe. Is this supposed to have happened before or after I go to bed?
The Leetest post yet!
blue) Change what had been 14 above to waffles. Ambiguous times in lists and instructions are even more confusing when you have numbered lists. So ignore the numbers, and change it to something nonsensical. Return to the rest of 14 as usual.
So, once again: Happy Tuesday!
**update** Disclaimer: Results may vary, based on word choice. Simply following these directions does not guarantee that an identical post might easily be written.