Monthly Archives: July 2013

Dogs find the oddest “fluffy spots.”

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters!

Due to fortunate circumstances, I caught a picture of my dog being adorable.

That dog has some of the oddest sleeping locations and preferences. All right, so he’s not as bad as my younger dog who sleeps on top of his crate. But still, he’s a bit odd.

This evening, for example, I watched him slightly paw at an empty backpack on the ground before flopping down on it.

A white fluffy dog sleeping on a backpack.

My dog on the back of a backpack. Sleeping.

You can’t quite see it very well, but the thing he’s on top if is the backpack. It was very cute, if slightly odd, and very much in keeping with this dog’s eccentricities.

Yes, he’s eccentric. I don’t know of any other dog that would deliberately go up to a hot pepper plant and eat fresh hot peppers. (He did this frequently when he was younger, so clearly he enjoyed it.)

Aren’t dogs great?

Anyways, happy Wednesday! We’re halfway there!

Fabric Finds: Food

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Tuesday!

I’m just going to dive right in.

I’ve mentioned I like to sew, right? I mean, I made that DIY flower wreath, and all. One of my goals in life is to eventually make my version of the Pirates Elizabeth Swan dress, and actually wear it somewhere. (That’s not likely to happen for a while since materials are incredibly expensive, and the pattern quite complicated. But I can dream, right?)

Anyways, today’s post is a discussion of fabric. More to the point, a discussion of food themed fabric.

Until yesterday, (well, today as I’m writing this) I didn’t even know fabric with a food theme even existed. But due to exploring fabric.com, I came across an entire section of food printed fabric.

This sparked a desire I never even knew I had.

I now really want to make a waffle-print skirt. Or dress. Or maybe a skirt/handbag combo.

Actually, I’m not picky. A similar sort of thing with pancakes, donuts, sprinkles, and, especially, CheeseIts. Not Bacon & Eggs, though. That’s just silly. (The grilled cheese, though… That’s tempting!) I can only imagine what my school would have done if I’d walked into the cafeteria wearing anything made from “Michael Miller Bon Appetit Accounts Flax” fabric. (Bon Appetit’s our cafeteria supplier.)

Fresh Strawberry fabric actually looks like it might make a really cute summertime outfit. Especially for a younger child. As would basically anything watermelon.

And personally? A coffee print would make a wonderful computer case holder. Or bag for a college student. (Wouldn’t you agree?)

I was, alas, unable to find any prints with eggplants or steak on Fabric.com. I don’t know what I’d have done with a fabric with either of those foods on them, besides laugh, but even laughing would be worth it.

How about you, Fluffsters? Any favorite food-fabric you’ve seen that you love? (Or hate? I don’t mind either!)

Or have you seen any clothes made from some of these novelty fabrics? I’d love to hear about it!

Have a great rest of your week!

Origins Questions: Bouncy Balls

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday! I hope your week is starting off phenomenally well.

Today, I was struck by the concept of toy balls. They’re round, and they bounce. And sometimes they’re soft.They’re also frequently brightly colored, and sometimes a choking hazard. They also can provide hours of entertainment to children and adults. But who came up with them?

From what I remember, there have been balls around for at least a very long time. Wooden Balls are referenced in a number of historical fiction novels and fantasy novels. So, here’s my theory on:

The evolution of the Bouncy Ball

First, people started playing around in the mud. It was nice and softly squishy. You could make designs with it, and mud pies, and all sorts of wonderful things.

Then along came rocks. So one day, as little Johnny or Suzy was out playing in the wonderfully smooth and soft and delicate mud, a stone popped out of the ground, interrupting the previously uninterrupted hours of imaginative play.

They must have been shocked. Especially if they’d never seen rocks before!

Anyways. So after the rock stabbed him in the leg, Johnny would probably have examined it. If it stabbed him, it was probably a bit sharp. He might have thrown the rock away, or he might have kept it. Regardless, rocks were now introduced into the child’s play.

After the rock was introduced, more rocks started to spring up in the most unexpected places. After that, it was only a matter of time before one of the children found that you could shape a rock by banging on it with another rock.

After rock carving was discovered, it’s possible that somebody might have happened to shape a rock to form a smoother, rounder surface.

Once you have a round surface, it’s harder to hold on to. The smooth rock would have escaped poor Johnny’s (or Suzy’s) grasp, and… rolled! What fun!

The children would then have found a new toy to play with.

After rubber was discovered, it’s probable that bouncy balls were one of the first things invented. And from that time onward, bouncy balls became one of the prime toys of children everywhere.

The end.

That was… quite the story.

Explanation! Please. Stories are fictional.

And you always end your explanations with “the end”?

Anyways, thanks for reading, Fluffsters! I hope you have a great week.

Technology is amazing. So is art.

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

I’ve recently had my mind blown.

Any consequence of it having been your 21st birthday on the 27th?

No, actually.

My mind was a bit blown before that, and I’ve just been saving this for a time when I couldn’t immediately think of something to write about. So here it is: Some of the most AMAZING 3d renders I have ever seen in my LIFE.

I did a bit of research, and it seems as though these are (probably) just 3d renders, not photographs. Look at them, and be amazed by the 35 most realistic 3d renders I’ve ever seen in my life.

Aren’t those amazing? The fact that there are not photographs is seriously blowing my mind. I’m fairly sure that they’re probably legitimate 3d renders, too, because the same site has links to a previous set of amazing 3d renders, and a number of those link to tutorials.

So, in other words, my mind has been blown, and yours should be too. The end. Happy Sunday!

Good Birthday Cakes

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy July 27th!

New way of starting your greetings?

Only when it’s my birthday.

That makes sense then, I suppose. Because your birthday has become like a holiday; is that correct?

Well, it’s at least a day that I’m excited about.

Fair enough.

But that leads me to today’s topic:

My Favorite Types of Birthday Cake. (In no particular order.)

So, just a bit of background. I really like all of these kinds. It’s really hard for me to choose which type is my favorite. So if there’s any difference in the ordering, it’s purely coincidental and only reflects the order in which I thought of and wrote about the different types of cakes.

First: flourless chocolate cake. I’ve made this for people more often than I’ve had it for my own birthday cake. But it’s a really good cake. How can you go wrong with something like 8 ounces of dark chocolate per cake?

At some point, I’m going to need to upload my favorite ways to make flourless chocolate cakes. But for now, here’s a link to the epicurious cake recipe I use, and the AllRecipes Ganache. If you use the ganache as the frosting, it’s really amazing. The cake itself is already very chocolatey. Add a combination of boiling cream and pure bittersweet/dark chocolate, and it’s one of the most chocolate chocolate experiences you can have.

1) Pineapple Upside Down Cake. I haven’t made one in a while. But it’s really good. Nice and perfect sugary-sticky-sweet-maraschino-cherry-and-canned-pineapple goodness. It can also be a thing of absolute beauty.

It doesn’t come with frosting or an icing, which can be a downside. But the crustiness of the cake itself is wonderful, and doesn’t actually need one.

Alpha) Carrot Cake with cream-cheese frosting. This is another one of my favorites. If it’s fresh, then recipes with a bit of pineapple in them are really good. Yes, I do like pineapple. How could you tell?

Now, a small confession: I really like stale carrot cake.

What is wrong with you?

Haha, very funny. I know, it’s a bit odd. But it’s really good! If you wait for a few days, the frosting gets a bit of texture to it. A bit of crunch, that is, which is something I really like with this particular flavor. It’s sort of almost like carrot-cake croutons. Admit it, those sound like they’d be good.

Uno) Ice cream cakes. I like both BaskinRobins’ ice cream cakes, and ColdStones. If there’s the possibility of mixing flavors, like Cold Stones does, I really like their Strawberry, with either white chocolate chips or Kit-Kats. (I haven’t checked to see if they let you use a sorbet. If so, I’d go with either lemon or raspberry sorbet with white chocolate chips.) For the straight ice cream flavors, I really like mint chocolate chip. It both tastes fresh, and like chocolate. Where even can that go wrong? (Unless the mint tastes like toothpaste. That’s a problem.)

Chief) Mud Pie. Not technically a cake, but I don’t know if ice cream cake really counts as a cake either. Mud pie is another one of my more favorite desserts. The coffee ice cream and rich chocolate flavor combine in a perfect flavor harmony. It’s like eating a sugary coffee drink. When done right, it truly is a thing of beauty.

S, what about you, Fluffsters? Do you have a favorite birthday cake? I’d love to read about them in the comments below!

Happy Saturday!

How books are like an addiction

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Friday! (Congratulations, you’ve almost survived another week! Soon school will start up again! Yay!(?))

Anyways. I have come to the realization that books are wonderful. And dangerous. And something like an addiction… So, here’s:

A list of ways that reading is like an addictive substance.

…You actually just wrote that, didn’t you?

Uh… I think so. That’s what happens when I press the buttons on my keyboard and they show up in the post area, right?

So, yes. I did just write that. And here we go.

3) You need to wait until it runs its course. As in, once you’ve started a book, it’s really hard to stop until the book (or series) is done.

2) When you read, you experience things that aren’t really there. At least, those of us with hyperactive imaginations actually do. You see the princess try to run away from the boring castle to volunteer for a dragon. You hear characters talking with each other. I mean, what sort of thing is this “reading”, anyways?

1) You can never stop. Once you learn how to read, that’s it, you’re done. You will never be unable to read again. Addicting, right? And libraries really don’t help! You can just walk right in, all secretive (well, you’re supposed to keep your voice down anyways) and choose the perfect flavor of book, and then, after a bit of magic with a card happens, you can walk out of there with something new to read. Scary, right?

So, Fluffsters, what did I miss? How do you think a book is like some sort of addictive substance?

Creeper Rainbow: Illustrated

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

In honor of my Stalker Rainbow showing himself to me again yesterday-

OH NO. NOT your crazy conspiracy about how rainbows are creepers again?

…I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

AS I was saying. In honor of him showing himself to me, I drew a picture of him. That way if he attacks me, I’ll be able to report him to the police, and already have the pictures for the wanted poster available.

Creepy Stalker Rainbow waiting to POUNCE!

He’s hiding in a TOTALLY inconspicuous way, so that he can POUNCE!

You’ve got to be the only one

Who makes wanted posters? That’s not true! There are over 22,000 people searching for “wanted poster” templates! So, my wanted poster can’t be out of the ordinary.

An old-west styled wanted poster for the Stalker Rainbow

Wainted: For General Creepiness

 

Uh… I was referring to your referring to rainbows as “creepy.” And drawing creepy rainbow pictures.

Now that is definitely not true. First, that picture isn’t that creepy, except for the rainbow in it. Even so, I couldn’t help but cute-ify him a bit.

Second, there are search results for creepy rainbow pictures. (A lot of them are a lot creepier than that picture. So I don’t suggest doing it.

…So why did you look in the first place?

Empirical evidence against your position?

…I guess that actually makes sense.

Anyways, Fluffsters, happy Thursday! Just think, it’s almost the weekend!

Obsessed with Royalty 2: Baby

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Your home.

What about it?

You’re still so obsessed with other countries’ royalty!

I mean, really. How many articles about the new royal baby do you need?

First, I think it’s mostly just the British that we obsess about.

Second, given that we’re writing one, at least one more article.

Third, you do realize that you linked to a British article? They’re probably permitted to be more excited about a new royal baby than we are about new presidents every few years.

Ok, fair point. In my defense, though, I did get to that article through an American website.

In all honesty, I’m not actually that upset. The Baby will be important. When it comes down to it, he probably already is important. Even if the monarchs of that realm do not have the same power as in my home land.

Huh? What do you mean?

From what I can tell, the United Kingdom’s monarchs are mostly symbols. I don’t think they do that much in making policy decisions.

But symbols are power. One article put it as the baby being a symbol of the country continuing for another generation. I could understand being excited about that- if it were my own country. Since you Americans aren’t British, though, I don’t entirely get it.

The way I see it, it’s an opportunity for us to make a big fuss and get excited and look at cute baby pictures. The British Royalty are essentially celebrities in America, after all.

I guess that is fair.

That doesn’t mean I have to agree, however.

Of course not. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to look for more footage of the new prince!

Well, Happy Wednesday, Fluffsters! I hope you have a great week.

How to: Write July 23’s Fluff Post

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Gee, not thinking of any particular ideas for your Fluff Posts, Webmaster?

…Maybe.

But just tonight’s. Until inspiration hit. (Spoiler alert.) Because, you see, I realized what I could write abou- Oops. more spoilers. Sorry.

I should probably just start the post.

If it even qualifies as a post…

Hey! Of course it does! But that’s another digression. So, without further ado:

Instructions for writing the fluff post for July 23, 2013

1) Look at the clock. Realize that it’s only 9:00pm on the 22nd. (12:00am on the 23rd Fluff Time.) You’ve got plenty of time to start spinning some yarn/thread/stuff before you need to start writing a fluff post! It’s a whole nine hours before it needs to be up and ready!

2) Lose track of time while wasting time. Look up at the clock again at about 11:00pm. Realize you’ve still got a bit of time before you were planning on going to bed.

3) Make some tea, and start thinking about the Fluff Topic. I would go with coffee, but that takes work. These days, for writing stuff, I’m going with Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. (I’ve always wanted to say that! Yay!)

You and your life goals…

Huh, yeah! I have just achieved a life goal! That’s fun!

But back to the list.

3b) “brainstorm”. Otherwise known as look around the internet, wander your current location aimlessly, and maybe read a book. All to get “inspired”, of course.

By this time, it’s a bit after midnight. You meant to go to bed about 15 minutes ago. Woops. Time to start thinking in earnest…

4) Focus. Fabric. Fabric is a good option- it’s fluffy, right?. Go to fabric.com to drool over all the fabrics available online that you can’t afford yet. Well, that you might be able to afford, but realize that you just bought about 5-10 yards of fabric recently that you haven’t started to use yet, and realize that you really shouldn’t get any more fabric. Even if it’s penguin printed fabric. More to the point, penguin printed fabric that would match your penguin socks perfectly.

I wonder if I could justify making a skirt out of this? Do I have any shirts that would work? Is it bad form to use flannels like that for adult(ish) apparel! Can I justify buying any of the fabric? Can I even afford how much it would take? ($13 a yard? No thanks!)

And I’m digressing again.

4b) Realize you can’t use fabric.com exclusively for your fluff post. Especially if you haven’t actually ordered anything from there (which I personally haven’t.) Besides, there’ve been enough posts on this blog about other websites already.

5) Stare at your messy counters. Realize that you’ve already written a post about how to messify any surface in just a few simple steps… there goes that stroke of inspiration.

6) Realize that you just passed your 175th blog post, so can’t even write about that. (Yay Fluff, though! Over 175 posts, and almost 6 months of daily blogging! Woohoo!)

7) Realize that what doesn’t kill you gives you stories. (Ooh, I should make a cafepress design out of that! I’ll let you know if I do.)

8) Enter Inspiration: Decide to write about writing a fluff post. The day is saved! And it’s only 12:30 am- still only about a half hour after “the latest I’m going to bed tonight, period.” (Hah!)

9) Get sidetracked by a conversation with Fluffy about what this post is going to be about. And give spoilers. You can’t forget the spoilers.

10) Start writing. Get up to point ten (Hey, look at that!) and wonder whether you should include pictures in your post.

11) Decide yes, and then decide to ignore that decision. And the sudden itch in your fingers to pick up a pen and try to figure out how to illustrate this post.

12) Realize that it’s almost 1:00am, and that you can always update the post later.

13) finish the post, have the final conversation with Fluffy (if it happens), double check everything, realize that you’re linking to this post in this post, yadda yadda, schedule for the post to go up at 9:00am on July 23rd, decide that you’ve gotten too little sleep and should therefore go to bed, follow through on that decision, and get ready for bed. And hopefully end up actually getting some sleep. (This hasn’t happened yet as I’m writing. It will hopefully have happened by the time you’re reading. Because time is weird like that, and so are blogs and stuff.)

So there you go, Fluffsters! That’s how to write today’s post in 13 circuitous steps. Happy Tuesday!

Wait, what about the final conversation with me? It didn’t happen!

You mean the one we’re having now?

…Oh. Yes.

I think it sort of slipped my mind.

Anyways, as I was saying, happy Tuesday! I hope you have a fantastic week!

bonus: 14) Waffles) Realize that somewhere in there you took a screencap of how this post is the 1337-est post yet. Insert that picture, and an ambiguous timeframe. Is this supposed to have happened before or after I go to bed?

the 1337est post Fluff has had!

The Leetest post yet!

blue) Change what had been 14 above to waffles. Ambiguous times in lists and instructions are even more confusing when you have numbered lists. So ignore the numbers, and change it to something nonsensical. Return to the rest of 14 as usual.

So, once again: Happy Tuesday!

**update** Disclaimer: Results may vary, based on word choice. Simply following these directions does not guarantee that an identical post might easily be written.

Who thought of: Aloe?

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

Today, I’m going to go a bit more contemplative, and examine one of the big questions in life.

Wow! You’re actually going against the grain of no content for TotalFluff?

No more so than usual. And significantly less so than many of your posts.

So here it goes. My question is:

Who on Earth even discovered the use of Aloe?

I mean, think about it. It’s a plant, where the main benefit comes from the inside of a leaf. It’s a weird looking plant, too. Sort of like a waxy fern. (Minus the leaves.) The inside of the leaves is what is useful, as I already said, but it tastes absolutely nasty. (Judging from the times I’ve accidentally not washed my hands thoroughly enough between putting aloe on my skin and eating an apple.)

According to some websites, some animals do eat aloe. But one bite with the aloe flavor, and any person should have preferred starvation to consuming any of that nastiness. In my opinion. Even if not, that still doesn’t answer the question. Who decided it was a good idea to smear the inside of plant-leaves on our skin? It doesn’t even smell nice!

My current hypothesis is that aloes are actually a space-plant, brought over by the aliens currently hiding in Area 51. Clearly they would have told ancient humans how to use the plant properly, and this is just further proof that rainbows are conspiring against us with the governments of the world to take away all the cookies. But what do you think, Fluffsters? How do you think we discovered the proper use of aloe?

Just when I think things are getting normal… If you don’t want to answer the Webmaster’s question, here’s a different one to answer: Why do you think the Webmaster always has to create new conspiracy theories?