I have a cold. I’m not happy about this. My nose is especially unhappy about this, and is making the rest of me very unhappy by extension.
In light of this, I have determined that there are a few (fictional) villains I am more than a bit jealous of at the moment.
first) The Eye of Sauron. Literally, he’s just an eye. There’s, like, no sinus problems he needs to deal with. Granted, the eye looks a bit irritated all the time. And it’s “wreathed in flame.” Which might hurt. So, probably not perfect. But at least there are no nose problems!
a) The “Vampire Pancakes” from Star Trek. Ok, so technically they’re “Neural Parasites”, from “Operation – Annihilate!” They still look like pancakes. And they have vampiric tendencies. And my family has always referred o them as “Vampire Pancakes.”
But I digress.
The point is that they’re completely nose-free. Which means they can’t have noses that periodically try to kill them with the pain of a cold.
So, yeah. Tiny bit jealous right now. Even though they’re unable to be in sunlight and stuff, which might make it a bit hard to lead a normal life.
But hey, who’s perfect?
i) Lord Voldemort from the Potter-verse. He doesn’t have a nose, starting from the end of “Goblet of Fire.” I’m personally feeling like he might have been onto something with that when he gets “reborn.” After all, we don’t hear him complain about a cold, do we?
And how could he, if he doesn’t have a nose that can get congested?
Ok. So, I guess he still has some nose slit thingies. And he probably can’t enjoy food as much. So, there may be downsides. But still. Probably at least minimal congestion and coldage.
And finally, 1) Jafar, from Aladdin. Especially once he gains his Mad Sorcerer Powers, with the ability to turn into a snake. He’s able to still be human and have a nose, so he can enjoy his food. But whenever he wants, he can turn into a snake. Which is a noseless creature. NO CONGESTION!
So, basically the best of all worlds. Able to enjoy the perks of a nose, with none of the nasty side-effects. I bet cold-germs probably wouldn’t even survive in a reptile, either.
So, yep. That’s how I’m feeling right about now. How about you?