Tag Archives: rainbows

We have been transported to an alternate reality. I have proof.

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Fluffsters, we have a problem.

I’m fairly sure we have all been transported to an alternate, slightly surreal reality.

There goes the nearly 70 day no-conspiracy streak…

Hey, I have legitimate proof!

It happened earlier yesterday morning. I was on my computer, checking Twitter, when Big Ben changed his routine!

Big Ben has been tweeting out the correct number of “Bongs” every hour for nearly fifty-six-thousand tweets. That means fifty-seix-thousand hours.

Then THIS happened!

Big Ben Twitter Broke


Seriously, Big Ben doesn’t DO that in this universe!

Thus, we must have been transported to an alternate, slightly surreal reality.

I don’t know how the rainbows did it, but it needs to be stopped.

I guess that especially in this case, only time will tell.

Happy Saturday.

The Greedo Conspiracy

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Hello, Fluffsters!

So, I found out something a couple of days ago. Apparently, there’s a recently discovered type of Catfish. And it’s been named after the Star Wars character Greedo, because of similarities of appearances.

Of course, now I’m wondering… What if this is all some sort of plot with Star Wars to make science more interesting? So, suppose that scientists actually found this type of catfish decades ago, and George Lucas based Greedo on the fish. And then the scientists are only now revealing the existence of the fish, so that people are a) more interested in the discovery because it looks like a Star Wars character, and 2) make it less likely anybody would discover the conspiracy?

I blame the rainbows. They’re devious like that. But I’m onto your tricks! Your sith mind tricks won’t work on me, rainbows!

Let me get this straight… rainbows are sith now?

Well, do you have proof that they aren’t?

Anyways, Fluffsters, have a good day. Don’t eaten by a catfish, a space alien, or a rainbow, ok?

Rainbows’ Minions: Music

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Fluffsters, we’ve got a problem.

Don’t tell me. This has something to do with your Rainbow Conspiracy…

What gave it away?

Uh, the title?

Oh. Right. Well, yes in fact! This does have to do with the rainbows.

More to the point, it has to do with the Rainbows’ hired minions: –


You’re good!

…That’s also in the title.

Oh. Right. But yes. I have recently discovered that Rainbows probably use various pieces of music as minions. Not all music, but some pieces.

I mean, think about it. I’ve already written about how music can pop into your head at any time, and refuses to leave. I’ve referred to those as ear bugs.

Now think further about this: Some music consistently enters your mind when you see certain things or hear certain words. At least, it does for me.

Here’s an example: There’s a campfire ditty I learned. The lyrics are simple: “I see the moon//the moon sees me// the moon sees the one// I want to see. //God bless the moon// and God bless me,// and God bless the one// I want to see.” And now, whenever anyone says “I see the moon”, that little piece of music pops into my head. It’s as though it’s following me around, waiting for the opportunity to come out and demonstrate its existence. Just like rainbows.

My conclusion? Rainbows have enlisted various catchy tunes to serve as their minions. The songs receive training from the rainbows. In return, they too stalk people, always there but never observed until the opportune moment. Then they strike.

Next: People sometimes are more annoyed with songs than with rainbows, which just furthers my conclusion.

How does that follow?

Simple. You see, this provides a brilliant contrast for the rainbows.

People might realize that things popping out at them that are just waiting to be discovered are a bad thing, especially when it’s music that’s annoying and gets stuck in your head. Then, just when the poor victims feel that all hope is lost, they realize that there is something else following them that comes unannounced: Rainbows. Since people are predisposed to go “Ooh, shiny!”-

Oh, you admit that?

Yes. Now let me finish my point.

Since people are inclined to go “ooh, sparkly!” they come to the conclusion that there are two types of hidden phenomena: Music (which is creepy), and rainbows (which are the protectors of human kind.) Little do they know that actually music is just the rainbow’s minion, designed to put rainbows in a better light.

So to speak.


Oh, I did make a pun there, didn’t I?

Also, I theorize that rainbows also use music to slowly drive everyone insane so that they can eventually take over the world more easily. But the primary purpose is for publicity and HR.

…Ah. I see.

So as I said, Fluffsters, we have a problem. Your task is to figure out what music you think is working for the Rainbows. Maybe, together, we can solve this problem ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Anywho, happy Thursday!

Creeper Rainbow: Illustrated

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In honor of my Stalker Rainbow showing himself to me again yesterday-

OH NO. NOT your crazy conspiracy about how rainbows are creepers again?

…I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

AS I was saying. In honor of him showing himself to me, I drew a picture of him. That way if he attacks me, I’ll be able to report him to the police, and already have the pictures for the wanted poster available.

Creepy Stalker Rainbow waiting to POUNCE!

He’s hiding in a TOTALLY inconspicuous way, so that he can POUNCE!

You’ve got to be the only one

Who makes wanted posters? That’s not true! There are over 22,000 people searching for “wanted poster” templates! So, my wanted poster can’t be out of the ordinary.

An old-west styled wanted poster for the Stalker Rainbow

Wainted: For General Creepiness


Uh… I was referring to your referring to rainbows as “creepy.” And drawing creepy rainbow pictures.

Now that is definitely not true. First, that picture isn’t that creepy, except for the rainbow in it. Even so, I couldn’t help but cute-ify him a bit.

Second, there are search results for creepy rainbow pictures. (A lot of them are a lot creepier than that picture. So I don’t suggest doing it.

…So why did you look in the first place?

Empirical evidence against your position?

…I guess that actually makes sense.

Anyways, Fluffsters, happy Thursday! Just think, it’s almost the weekend!

I have a follower that’s waiting for me to discover it.

Rainbows. They’re really pretty. And slightly… creepy

Rainbows are creepy?!

Yes! The way that they follow you around, waiting for you to discover them?

WHAT are you talking about?

Rainbows! I’ve said that already!

Ok. And by Rainbows, do you mean creepy guys in hooded masks that sneak from bush to bush?

No! I mean the pretty things that are usually found in the sky, but sometimes on the ground. And are really pretty.

I was afraid you were going to say that. So tell me again, how the brassicae fati are rainbows creepy?

Well, you see, everyone sees a different rainbow. So if that’s the case, than everyone has their own unique rainbow, right?

If everyone has their own unique rainbow, that means that (in order for the rainbow to be found everywhere rainbows are found) the rainbow must follow you around. So that if ever the time arises, your rainbow pops out and says “Surprise! I’m your rainbow! I’ve gotten a little cosmetic surgery done, but do you still like me? I like you! I’ve been following you everywhere!

Rainbow is way too happy to see you


And people are normally all, like, “Aww, that’s so sweet little rainbow! I’m so happy you’re following me everywhere begging for my attention!” and they’re serious. I mean really. If a person did that, wouldn’t it be creepy? If a puppy does that, isn’t it annoying? But it’s a rainbow, so everyone’s okay with this! We have problems, people!

That is disturbing!

Thank you!

No, not that. You.


I don’t know. It just… comes to me. And then keeps me up all night. You know?

Oh, Caffeine! I understand now.

Well, Webmaster, I’d recommend getting some sleep. You’ve shared enough disturbingness for one day.


Oh, ok.

Well, Happy Tuesday, everyone! I hope your week’s going well. And steer clear of the rainbows. They may look innocent, but I’m sure that deep down, they’re just waiting for a chance to strangle somebody.

Different colors of light are waiting to strangle y-

Oh, nevermind.

Please, readers, remember. These views do not reflect my own. Rainbows are totally harmless, and quite pretty to look at. And if they are following me around, I’m fairly sure there’s nothing serious they can do.

That’s what they want you to think.

As I was saying, please, just have a good day, okay? You know, happy Tuesday! And all that good stuff. And again, please just try to ignore the webmaster. In fact, I’m seriously tempted to just delete this po-


Fine. I guess I won’t actually delete this post. Happy Tuesday.