Author Archives: Webmaster

Bananagrams!

A friend of mine has introduced me to a game: “Bananagrams”.

It’s a rather fun game, and somewhat similar to scrabble. Another name for it is actually “Speed Scrabble.” Basically, all the tiles from scrabble go into the middle of the table (face-down), and there isn’t a board.

Bananagram Tiles

Each player then starts off with some number of tiles (twelve in our version.) Then each person tries to use their tiles to come up with as many connected words as possible. (Basically, imagine that you have your own small scrabble board in front of you.) More to the point, each person tries to use all their tiles. If someone does so, s/he shouts “peel”, and everyone takes a new tile.

Let me guess: Part of the purpose is to be as loud and obnoxious as possible when telling everyone to get a new tile?

How on Earth did you guess?

Alright, so it depends on who all is playing. There are some people who are so fast, they don’t have time to yell. Seriously. It’s like they’re just saying “Peelpeelpeelpeel…” over and over again. Those people are annoying.

Since you’re clearly not one of them, I’m not surprised.

How could you tell I’m not one of them?

You’re primarily writing this blog post in a monosyllabic vocabulary. With an occasional polysyllabic word to break up the monotony.

Oh. Good point.

Yeah, I’m not the best. But I have come up with a way to work against those wordier folks, though!

Oh? This worries me…

Yes. First, a bit more background. The game also lets you trade out tiles. You can put one of your tiles in the pile, and then take two more random tiles. Now, you can also put your discard tiles anywhere you choose. Also, you see, if someone calls “peel”, the players sometimes don’t look at where they take the tile from.

That makes it easier to damage other players’ tile selection. That way, if you get a harder to use word (like “Q”) you can put it in the area where the best choose from most often. That will sometimes slow them down, and may allow other players to catch up.

Even if that strategy doesn’t keep them from winning, it still can add laughter into the mix.

Anywho, I’ve found it to be a game that I surprisingly enjoy! I highly recommend trying it some time.

Book Review: “Alibi: Jr. High”

2 Replies

My family & I are all bibliophiles. I seriously love to read. I especially enjoy fantasy, sci-fi, and sometimes generic “fluff” fiction. (Not romantic fluff. Eww. But books that have minimal content-value.)

Just last summer, I was in a Crown Books Store, and I came across a fantastic gem of a book. And decided that it was well worth the $8 the book store was asking for. Seriously, one look at the cover and I was sold.

Book cover of Alibi Junior High

I know that they say “don’t judge a book by its cover”, but seriously? That cover just about says it all. “Alibi Junior High”, with a picture of a kid dressed like what Americans assume spies look like? Priceless.

Just to confirm that it would be as ridiculous as it appeared on the outside, I did start to read it. And oh my word. It was so unintentionally hilarious.

The first sentence: “I hate airports.” Yes. It was first person. And clearly trying to be dramatic.

On the next page, while still describing airports, and this (presumably spy) is going through the airport checking for potential threats, the phrase “It’s one huge, emotional paper shredder” appeared. How can you say “no” to a book like that?

And it keeps getting better and better. (Or worse and worse, if you’re looking for high quality writing.)

We discover that Cody, the main character of the book, is a thirteen year old boy who has been living with his father, and participating in clandestine operations all over the world. And, as he tells his aunt who he ends up living with due to odd circumstances, his “English and math skills are on a college level”, he speaks five different languages, has two black belts, has been to “every corner of the globe”, and he’s been in “more dangerous situations in any given month than most [Junior Highers] have been in their whole lives.” And now this kid is trying to go to Junior High, and trying to fit in, in order to stay undercover while his dad takes care of something.

Needless to say, it goes painfully on from there. This boy is “perfect”, except for knowing how to fit in. He knows more than his teachers about all of his subjects (it seems), he’s able to out-sneak a special-ops military man who’s home after being wounded, ends up sorting out the PE Coach’s bullying problem, starts a martial-arts / defense club, gets kidnapped (of course) and then manages to save the day. Oh, and he starts wearing fancy, expensive suits to school (while trying to stay undercover) because it’s what he’s accustomed to wearing.

Yeah.

Anyways, I discovered that it was a hilarious read. Most especially, it was a fantastically hilarious “read-aloud.”

If you’re looking for a laugh, melodrama, and totally unbelievable fluff, I highly recommend Alibi Junior High. Especially if you can get it at a major discount.

Have a great week!

Alarm Clock Nightmares

Leave a reply

This morning, I had an “experience” with my alarm clock.

You see, today my alarm clock music was “Dubinushka” by Rimsky-Korsakov. (One of my favorite composers.) It’s a nice piece, and ends with a lot of energy. Seriously, if there’s one thing Russian Music does well, it’s “Loud and Obnoxious to the extreme.” So needless to say, I normally don’t sleep through it.

Today, however, it joined my dreams. Somehow, in my dream, I thought that I was awake. And turning off my alarm clock. But the music didn’t stop. I “turned off” all three of the alarms that I have set on my phone, and it still didn’t work. And to make matters worse, I was continually worrying that it would wake up my roommate. (Never mind the fact that her alarm clock had gone off about a half-hour earlier.)

In the end, after about three minutes, I finally really woke up and realized that my phone wasn’t actually broken. That made me a lot happier with my alarm clock than I had been in my dream.

How do YOU feel about Muffin Flavored Shrimp?

8 Replies

Webmaster, what is with that title?

It’s descriptive of what I’m going to be talking about, of course!

I thought that it had been too long since I went around ~~terrorizing~~ asking people I know random questions, so I decided the situation must be rectified. That was also helped, of course, by the fact that a perfect, totally random question came to me.

And it has to do with “muffin flavored shrimp”? Brassicae, I don’t think I want to know…

Oh, it’s not that bad. I was simply having a meal with friends, and somehow a variety of random words came into the conversation that turned into a delightful question. So, I went around asking people, “How do you feel about muffin flavored shrimp of the paintball variety that have been defenestrated after being exsanguinated?”

Bwah? What does that even MEAN?

Well, working backwards: Exsanguinated means being completely drained of blood. To defenestrate someone is to throw them out of a window. And then I’m not entirely sure what shrimp “of the paintball variety” would be, but muffin-flavored shrimp would be odd.

Exsanguinated Defenistrated Muffin Flavored Shrimp

Exsanguinated Defenestrated Muffin Flavored Shrimp

Anyways, some of the answers were very amusing:

Answers

Wait, muffin flavored SHRIMP?
No, just no.
Who paid you to ask me this?
Ah, those poor unfortunates. Their situation is truly discouraging; they really need representation, and a voice amongst the people!
No. I’ve seen the kind of muffins you eat.
*confused noises*
Cooked or raw?
I think someone needs psychoanalytical counseling.
Why were the shrimp defenestrated? I mean, everything else makes sense, but why would you throw them out the window?
Well, I’m not particularly fond of shrimp. But I do like muffins, and I’m always in favor of defenestration and exsanguination. So on the whole, I’d say I have a positive reaction.
Why are you a) draining the shrimp of blood, b) throwing them out a window? and c) WHAT THE BLOODY [] DID YOU PUT IN YOUR ORANGE JUICE?
You know, from what I understand, the counseling center is actually pretty good
That’s gross
I’m all for them!
I think that it’s a gross violation of shrimp’s rights. Freezing them and eating them is one thing, but this is something else entirely. I think that we should take a stand against this!
Not very useful…
It’s good that they’ve been drained of blood first.
If I knew what they were, I’m sure I’d be for it.
No. Just no. Muffins are supposed to be lightly textured and sweet. Shrimp are supposed to be meaty and salty. You can’t do that. It’s like… like ketchup and ice cream.
I don’t know, but they definitely would not be accepted by a finite state automata.
As long as there are enough teeth, I’m interested.
at this point, they are inedible because they have been thrown on the ground.
I’m not sure. I’m not a fan of shrimp to begin with, so the muffin flavor wouldn’t help.

What did that person mean, “I’ve seen the kind of muffins you eat?”

Oh, look at the length! I guess that muffins will need to wait until another post.

Anyways, dear readers, what is your response to this question?

Congratulations! You have introduced an “Earbug”!

Leave a reply

I sometimes have problems.

Sometimes?

Yes, sometimes.

You see, I remember tunes. But frequently not words. And very frequently, not entire sets of tunes/words.

Furthermore, my friends often like music that I normally wouldn’t listen to. And unfortunately, their music gets stuck in my head not infrequently. And IT WON’T COME OUT.

A different friend of mine refers to those pieces as “earbugs.” And they couldn’t be better named, from my perspective. It’s something somewhat in your ear, and it won’t come out.

Oh, the tragedy. My heart bleeds for you.

Wow, you actually care about me?

No. That was sarcasm.

I actually find that quite amusing.

Oh.

Yeah, I guess there are worse problems to have.

But anyways. There’s currently one song that is frequently getting stuck in my head. It’s fairly popular, and also fairly inane. I mentioned this to the friends that introduced the piece to me, and they are quite pleased with themselves. In fact, “instead of blaming [them], [I] should give [them] a medal.”

Ooh, there are medals for annoying you?

Not yet, there aren’t…

Well, I guess I’ll need to fix that!

Hey!

Yup. Definitely gold medal worthy. Now, for an inscription… In this case, yes! Here we go:

Congratulations! You “Introduced an Earbug”.

So, readers, if anyone introduces an earbug to you, you can now just copy a picture of this medal, and send it to that person. Voila, instant medal!

…

I’m not sure whether you’re evil, or a genius. Or none of the above.

All of the above. I’m an actress, remember?

The anti-phoenix, and creatures of the “elements”

Leave a reply

I’ve read a lot of fantasy books. Like, a lot of fantasy. And one of the things you can’t help but pick up, if you read the right sort, is the use of Greek Classical “Elements” applied to magic. (Earth, air, fire, & water.)

Now, sometimes creatures get classified by their elements as well. So, birds are usually air, fish are clearly water, dragons & lizards are fire, and most other animals are earth.

Sometimes, at least in my mind, those can mix. A swan, or other sea-bird, might be both air & water aligned. That sort of thing.

That got me thinking: A phoenix is supposedly a fire-bird. That means that it would be both fire and air. So what would be its antithesis? The “anti-phoenix”?

I’ve been considering, and I think it would definitely be the duck-billed platypus.

What?

Yes, the duck-billed platypus. And here’s why:

First of all, for an animal to be an anti-phoenix, it would need to have opposite alignment. A phoenix is fire & air. The opposite of fire is water, and the opposite of air is earth. So we need an earth/water creature. That leaves land-animals that can live in the water, or water-animals that can live on the land. A duck-billed platypus fits the bill. So do otters, beavers, and mermaids. So we need to find other reasons.

Next: phoenixes don’t actually exist in this world. Neither do mermaids. So that strikes mermaids from the possible, leaving otters, beavers, and our friend the duck-billed platypus.

Also, phoenixes are graceful. Elegant. Beautiful. So are otters. Duck-billed platypuses are not. That should strike otters from the list. That still leaves beavers, though.

Another reason: there are a number of places and things named after the Phoenix. Phoenix, AZ, for example. And the University of Phoenix. There’s a Beaver County in Pennsylvania. But alas for the poor duck-billed platypus, I am unaware of any county, city, or non-platypus-y thing named for the Duck-Billed Platypus. (Perry the Platypus doesn’t count; he’s a platypus.) That strikes the beaver from our list.

Even if that didn’t work, there’s another trump card. If the best birdwatcher in the world were to hear the word “phoenix” for the first time, s/he wouldn’t automatically assume that a phoenix was a bird of any sort. On the other hand, the Duck-Billed Platypus has the word “duck” in it. The name implies duck like tendencies. But, it’s not a bird! Neither is the beaver, but the beaver doesn’t imply “bird” with its name.

Clearly, then, the duck-billed platypus is the anti-phoenix. And the two should likely be mortal enemies.

You do realize you’ve given way too much thought to a subject that doesn’t matter, right?

…

Anywho, have a great day!

Work in Progress…

1 Reply

This week, I’ve been missing my puppies. So I tried to crochet one.

Crocheted Critter in progress

I see you failed…

Yeah. I’m still not sure what creature it’s going to be. I think it’s coming out cute, though! And if I add some wings, ears, maybe a horn-

And maybe the rest of the body?

Yeah! That too! I knew I could count on you to keep me honest. Thank you, Fluffy!

…

Anyways, I’m actually even writing down what I’m doing!

Normally, when I create my own patterns, they’re genuinely one of a kind. In other words, I play around with the pattern, and then sort of forget what I’ve done. But not this time!

In fact, I hope that I’ll even be able to upload the pattern here! Then you could download it!

True, they could… But who’d want to?

Hey!

It’s fluffy, and it’s cute, right? That means, who wouldn’t want to?

People who don’t know how to crochet?

Fair enough. Well, that’s sort of a moot point right now, anyways. I still do need to finish the critter!

So, thoughts: What does it look like it’s turning into right now? More bird-like? Seahorse? Dragon? Generic critter…?

My Favorite Ways to Procrastinate

2 Replies

Haha! I’ve finally beaten Fluffy to a Daily Fluff again.

Anyways, hello!

I’m sure most of you are human. As such, I’m also fairly sure that you sometimes want a way to ~~procrastinate~~ do something that may help you avoid doing something tedious that you probably ought to be doing. Or maybe you just need a way to take your mind off of stuff, and laugh. Well, I’m here to help you find some good ways to do that!

First of all, one of my favorite blogs: Cakewrecks. This is a blog devoted to cakes.

Cakes. How enthralling.

No need to be sarcastic, Fluffy. These aren’t just any cakes. No. These are Cakes that have been professionally made, but look… less than perfect. Or are just bizarre. (There are some very well done cakes that are just odd. Trust me.) I know it may not sound like a normal way to spend time, and it’s not! It’s funny and awesome. There have been several times that I’ve burst out laughing. Not only are the cakes amusing, but the commentary is phenomenal.

If you’ve already seen Cakewrecks and are caught up, one of the webcomics that I follow is Darths & Droids. This is especially for Star Wars & Gaming fans. The background is also quite amusing: What if Star Wars were actually a role play game, where none of the players knew about the universe? They start off with Phantom Menace, and are (as of right now) in the process of going through New Hope. This is another hilarious way to spend time. Seriously, there have been times I’ve about died of laughter. (Be sure to read the comments right after the comic. The creators give “tips” on how to run a RPG.)

In the category of “cute”, cuteoverload is always a good choice. I mean really, who can say no to pictures of adorable animals?

Do they have pictures of Horpadies?

I’ve never even heard of those. So no. What are they?

You don’t have Horpadies on your world? What a shame. They’re the cutest creature known to our world. They’re small, fuzzy, have these hugely oversized wings, and are known to melt people’s hearts. If they can be tamed, they make great pets. Of course, if they aren’t tamed they’re amazing predators.

Oh. We have something similar. They don’t have wings, and they aren’t always good pets, but they’re called “Polar Bear Cubs.” Or maybe “wolf puppies.” I think that site has some pictures and videos of both.

Back to the more geeky, another webcomic that my sister introduced me to is Girl Genius. This is a steampunk style amazing comic. First of all, it’s all about mad scientists. How can you beat that? Second, it totally brings to life a new world, with different cultures. There are monsters that have to have the right hat (and speak in a definite accent), there’s a castle that is alive and has an evil sense of humor, and there’s one scene that is about coffee. In a hilarious, “oh my heavens I need to read that again” sort of way. And the art is also phenomenal. Heads up, it takes a little bit to get into, but it’s well worth it. And they’re still updating every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So that’s a plus. (Or a minus, depending on whether you prefer reading a finished story, or there still being more to read.)

Last for today, again in the category of “cute”, Simon’s Cat videos are also amazing. I’ve never owned a cat, but I’ve been around enough to realize that these animated shorts fully capture the epitome of “cat”. And they’re just darling. I think I watched “Let Me In” multiple times in a row the first time I saw it. It’s absolutely priceless.

I hope you find something to help keep you entertained!

Even more weird traditions.

Leave a reply

From what I can gather, your world makes a rather big deal out of February 14th, correct?

You could say that. It’s a time of love, romance, and chocolate. 🙂

So, why are sewers so special on this day?

What?

You can read. I asked why are sewers so special on this day?

Uh… I honestly have no clue, Fluffy. What are you talking about?

Apparently, in your world, it’s popular to take a loved one on a tour of a sewage treatment plant on Valentine’s day. I don’t quite get it.

Me neither. In fact, I think I could probably have lived very happily without knowing such a thing existed…

You’re welcome. Just doing my job.

Anyways, have a great day!

Ichabod Nickname

Leave a reply

As I mentioned in the FAQ section, I sometimes like going around asking people questions.

Last Friday, the question was, “If you were named Ichabod Eichenberger or Ichenberger, what would your nickname be?”

I hope you intended to make that name sound as ridiculous as possible…

Of course. Please, give me some credit. Although to be fair, I didn’t actually come up with that name; a writer friend of mine did. She’s really talented!

I… see.

Anyways, as I was saying, I randomly asked some friends that on Friday. Here are some of their responses:

Embrace it, and not bother with a nickname. After all, if you do have a name like Ichabod Eichenberger, who is actually going to use your nickname? (Which is a fair point.)

Crane. (Clearly in reference to Ichabod Crane)

Bob. And before you ask, my favorite form of public execution is… (Don’t ask about the last part).

Icky. No, wait: Eichy. (Pronounced Ikey.)

Personally, I think the last person succeeded in making a nickname that sounds fairly reasonable. Almost cute, even!

So that means, alas, that my one friend has not quite succeeded in creating a name that has no shortenable form. I guess she’ll need to try harder next time.

How about you, though? What nickname would you choose? Or what is one name that you can think of that has absolutely no decent shortenable form?