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Hello, everyone! Happy Monday!
Today’s post is another “Answer the Question” one.
Please. Just no more muffin flavored shrimp, ok?
Don’t worry! Not in this post. No, today’s question was:
Finish the following sentence: “You don’t survive as a spy by…”
I got a variety of answers. Some of them made sense. Others, like “eating porridge”, “Eating fried chicken”, “being the slowest fish in the pond”, and “Kissing hands” were a little… confusing.
What’s confusing about them?
Clearly, where food is concerned, that points out one of two things. Either
1) eating exclusively those things. That’s, after all, going to draw attention to you. Or
2) The food is poisoned.
So, slowest fish in the pond?
Well, then you lose your cover when you try to escape.
Well, anyways. Back to the Top Five Answers to:
You Don’t Survive as a Spy By
1) Jumping Off Buildings. This seems fairly obvious. Especially if you’re talking skyscraper-sized buildings. Even jumping into the water. That can at the very least be extremely painful (which might lead to permanent injuries which prevent you from being a spy). The worst, of course, is that you literally don’t survive.
2) Telling the Truth. “Hello, ma’am! I’m here as a spy of your country’s arch-enemy. Could you please tell me your country’s secrets?” That clearly just doesn’t work. Bad life (and career) choice.
This leads us to our next one.
3) Person1 asks a question of Person2. From behind the closed, locked door comes the answer, from Person3. “How long have you been listening at the keyhole, Person3?” Person1 asks. Person3 enters sheepishly, and says, “Well, you don’t survive as a spy by-“
Revealing how long you’ve been listening at keyholes. Reveal how long you’ve been listening, and they might come after you.
Shh. You interrupted the list! “They” is a device to make the list more mysterious. Since we’re talking about spies and stuffs.
But as I was saying,
4) Starting a sentence with “You don’t survive as a spy by…”. There’s no surer way of killing your career as a spy by telling people that you’re trying to survive as a spy. You’ve just revealed your profession. This goes with number 2, and that just doesn’t work.
And finally, You don’t survive as a spy by…
5) Dying. Although this may seem obvious, it is important to remember! You can’t survive by dying. So you certainly can’t survive as a spy by dying!
So, there you have it. Five ways to not survive as a spy. If you’re a spy, I recommend you don’t follow any of these. Unless you’re spying on my country. Then you totally should. Especially number 4.
Why do I even try sarcasm? Why do I even try?
Oh, that was sarcasm again? My bad…
And once again, happy Monday, everyone! I hope you have a wonderful week.