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Salutations, readers. I hope that this Tuesday finds you well!
I came across this lovely piece about death statistics yesterday, and thought you might find it rather droll.
I had no idea there were so many unexpectedly dangerous foods, activities, or animals on your world!
My apologies for the shortness of the post, but that’s about all I wanted to say. I hope you enjoy, and have an excellent Tuesday.
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Greetings, readers. Happy Sunday to you- I understand the Super Bowl is taking place again this year.
For those of you who have no interest in whatever that event is, I offer an alternative source of entertainment. Apparently there are approximately five well-known voices in cinema. There is also a YouTube video of these five voices in a single limo going… somewhere. I found it amusing, and I hope you enjoy.
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Greetings, readers! Happy Thursday.
A friend recently shared this marvel from YouTube with me, about a psychologist who is treating characters from various Shakespearean plays. I highly recommend watching it. It is only about three minutes, and is therefore the perfect amount of time for a procrastination break.
I hope you enjoy it. Have a good day!
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Greetings, readers! Happy Wednesday!
I have recently discovered that your world sometimes prides itself on inefficiencies. Some of these, surprisingly, are quite artistic.
Fore example, there is a whole class of “Rube Goldberg Machines“, which attempt to do a task in as many ridiculously complicated steps as possible.
One of the record-holders was supposed to design a machine that would water a flower. The competitors illustrated the scientific theory of the history of your world along the way.
Although I am not entirely sure what I think about the celebration of inefficiencies, I must admit that this was a very artistic machine. It makes me wish I were in a tangible world again, even, so that I too might try to create something like that.
I wish you the best, readers! Thank you for stopping by.
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Greetings, readers.
Once again, I am befuddled by your world. I came across an interesting… poem.
From what I can tell, it was a poem that tried to praise the merits of spellcheckers. I think it failed its purpose though.
Uh, that’s the point Fluffy. It’s satire. Or irony. Or something.
Sorry, I’m not too great with literature-y terminology.
But yes, the poem was designed to draw attention to how much non-computer element needs to exist in choosing words.
Ah. I think I understand now.
Well, I wish you a joyous Saturday, readers.
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Ok, Webmaster. Your world does look quite remarkable.
…Oh? That was a rather abrupt start of a post.
Oh, right. I’m sorry, readers.
Hello, and happy Friday.
As I was saying, however, your world looks interesting. Someone apparently invented a method for finding the personal cookie recipe for his tastes.
Huh?
Someone invented a machine that can distribute the ingredients required to make one chocolate cookie at a time. By doing so, he hopes to be able to experiment in order to find the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe for him.
We wouldn’t be able to do anything like this at home; I am impressed.
Ok, that is kinda cool.
Yes.
Well, readers, I hope you have a joyous weekend!
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Fluffsters, today is a sad day. I regret to report the death of the Great Pumpkin. Last night, the place I was eating apparently decided, well, I can’t write it right now. Here is the photographic evidence of the unfairness done to Linus:
Great Pumpkin dessert. RIP, Great Pumpkin.
As you can see, clearly the Great Pumpkin was turned into a… dessert.
It wasn’t even pumpkin pie.
Wait. How do you know it was not dessert for the Great Pumpkin? Or Great dessert that was pumpkin?
Well, it clearly couldn’t have been dessert for the Great Pumpkin for two reasons. A) it was obviously pumpkin mush, and the Great Pumpkin isn’t a cannibal. 2) The Great Pumpkin only flies on Halloween, so it’s ridiculous to think he’d show up on January 20th.
And it couldn’t have been a great dessert that was pumpkin. Trust me, you’d need to have seen it to fully understand, but there’s no way the dessert could have been great.
So all said and done, let’s have a moment of silence for the Great Pumpkin.
…
Thank you. I hope you have a happy Tuesday, despite this hardship.
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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!
So, I have recently rediscovered Kumquats.
They’re weird.
Really weird.
Basically, they are an “opposite fruit.” So, they’re a type of citrus.
Odd indeed!
But they’re unlike any other type of citrus in existence. For example, they’re sortof grape shaped. Like, the big purple grapes.
But they have citrus seeds. (Unless you’re thinking of seedless oranges. Kumquat seeds are big. Especially relative to their size.)
But here’s the weird part. Whereas the skin of normal citrus is the bitterest, disgustingest part of the fruit, the skin of the kumquat provides the sweetness and the flavor. The fruit is actually very sour- slightly reminiscent of a combination of an unripe tangerine, an unripe orange, and a lemon.
But if you just pop one in your mouth, the flavor combination is fantastic. The sweet of the skin balances out the fruit.
If you have the opportunity, you should totally try one. Or twelve. They’re great.
Anywho, happy Monday! I hope your week goes great!
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Greetings, Readers!
As usual, I have been exploring the Internet. During this time, I came across an object of absolutely stunning beauty: A gemstone that looks like it has the ocean on the inside. Seriously, I think that everyone should look at this.
I am very impressed. It genuinely looks like an oceanscape. There are strings of kelp, and bubbles from the kelp.
…Wow. That is beautiful.
Yes.
Well, I wish you a joyous Friday, readers!
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Greetings, readers! I hope this week is treating you tolerably.
I have been perusing some of your sources of wisdom available to me, or some interesting analogies, an I have chosen some of my favorites to share with you. Without further ado:
1) S/he who laughs last, not get joke. This, of course, s worth remembering. If you’re in a crowd, and others start to laugh, make sure you start to laugh too, and before someone else. Elsewise it will look as though you do not understand the joke.
Jokesters out there, you might also wish to remember this. The last person to laugh at your joke likely does not (or did not) “get” it.
2) Boxing is like ballet, except there is no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. This Jack Handey quote is worth remembering if you ever get into a dance-off with a boxer, or a fight with a ballerina. They are likely to win. Do not attempt this.
3) Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. This is apparently a quote by Elbert Hubbard. With a name like “Elbert”, I am not too surprised he gave that quote.
…Says the person named “Fluffy McGiggles.”
Of course! I completely understand about weird names, and the need to laugh at live because of it.
Moving on.
4) Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. This J.R.R. Tolkein quote illustrates how well he knew wizards.
If my family hadn’t misperformed a play about wizards, after all, I would still be in my home world. Not here.
This brings me to the next one, though:
5) Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, this is also quite accurate. I do not know what ketchup actually tastes like, since we do not have it at home, but since dragons eat everything, I am positive that this quote is factual. Do not approach a dragon. Your life depends upon it.
6) Simply because you are unique does not mean you are useful. I found this one from a page of “Demotivational” posters. (I have recently lost the link, and there were some off-color words used in prior posters, so I am not sharing the link.) This quote is definitely well worth keeping in mind, however.
7) Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. I think this one does not need explanation.
In a similar “no-explanation-necessary category”:
8) A day without sunshine is like night. Someone named Steve Martin apparently made this astute observation.
9) Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. That is one of the most succinct explanations I have encountered.
10) In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. Also known as “even the best laid plans go awry.”
I hope, readers, that you found this information informative and useful.
Are there any favorite proverbs or sayings of yours that I missed?