Hello, everyone!
As I’m sure you remember from yesterday, the Webmaster challenged me to write a blog post with more words than what she has been using the past several Daily Fluffs.
Because of this, I am going to share a little bit about my life back home. As I mentioned previously, I was a melodramatic actress, born and raised into a family of the finest actors and actresses in the world.
Actually, now that I stop to think about it, every sane person said so.
Really? I find that hard to believe.
No, it’s true! Any critic who said otherwise was quickly found to be insane. And they usually stopped writing shortly after that.
What? How did you arrange that?
Why do you expect me to know why they’d suddenly lose interest in writing? I know nothing worthy of a blog post!
But anyways.
Before I was sidetracked, I was talking a bit about my childhood. I was always raised on the classics, such as The Ballad of Blood-Berringer. Much to my surprise, this world doesn’t have any versions of it on the web! So today, my dear readers, you may count yourselves among the blessed! I am going to share some selections from The Ballad of Blood-Berringer, possibly one of the oldest stories from my world!
<?php…
The Ballad of Blood-Berringer
Blood-Berringer the Bold and Brave
Sought Fallidyne the Fair
Who’d been abducted by a knave
Who loved her golden hair.
How did he so abduct the maid?
Ah, that we’d like to know.
The story’s writ’ on scrolls of jade,
And that great tale we’ll show.
The Knave Ralfickger loved her hair
As mentioned previously,
And so made plans to woo her there
In that land by the sea.
This is where me and my family would usually come out onstage, and start acting out the parts that were to be read aloud. Needless to say, I usually played Fallidyne the Fair. It fit me.
Very funny. Just because I’m already significantly above your word-count, and wouldn’t need to include more selections to win the challenge?
Anyways. I loved the tale. It goes on. My favorite part happens shortly after, when, oh, but I don’t want to ruin it for you…
So Ralfickger traversed the land
Until he found her lair,
And asked her father for her hand,
While at her hair he stared.
Wait, did you seriously just try to rhyme “lair” with stared
…Um, it’s a translation? Anyways, the part where I faint on stage is coming up. That’s Important Webmaster! I need to share it! Never mind things like rhymes!
Fine, do what you want. Your “daily fluff”, after all…
Thank you. You’re too generous. Now as I was quoting…
“I love Fallidyne’s hair so gold
Now let her be my wife!
If she’s not mine by morning cold
I promise endless strife!”
Fair Fallidyne knew she would die
If she were made his mate,
And so she on the floor did lie
For she had become faint.
“Oh please, just take my hair!” said she.
“For ‘tis not worth my life!”
“But ‘tis not fair when not with thee,
So I’ll take thee to wife!”
And with a mighty lunge or two
Ralfickger kidnapped her
And dashed out of the hall and through
The doors; ‘twas just a blur!
It goes on from there, and is definitely one of the most beloved tales back home. Anyone who says otherwise is plainly insane.
And then they quickly stop writing afterwards?
Of course not! They’re just plainly insane! Webmaster, you don’t honestly think that all insane people who dislike stories lose their love of writing, do you?
Honestly, it’s only the ones who don’t like our versions of the performances who decided it wasn’t worth writing anymore.
I… see. Well. Anywho. Moving on…
Of course.
Anyways, as I was saying, that was definitely one of the most popular stories back home. It’s a fantastic tale of abductions, knights, knaves, and more.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this section! I hope to eventually translate the entire thing into this language, and then upload it into this site. It will be glorious!
And anyone who says otherwise is plainly insane?
Exactly.
Anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day.
