Tag Archives: question

You don’t stay alive as a spy by… (Top 5)

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Hello, everyone! Happy Monday!

Today’s post is another “Answer the Question” one.

Please. Just no more muffin flavored shrimp, ok?

Don’t worry! Not in this post. No, today’s question was:

Finish the following sentence: “You don’t survive as a spy by…”

I got a variety of answers. Some of them made sense. Others, like “eating porridge”, “Eating fried chicken”, “being the slowest fish in the pond”, and “Kissing hands” were a little… confusing.

What’s confusing about them?

Clearly, where food is concerned, that points out one of two things. Either

1) eating exclusively those things. That’s, after all, going to draw attention to you. Or

2) The food is poisoned.

…Oookay, then!

So, slowest fish in the pond?

Well, then you lose your cover when you try to escape.


Well, anyways. Back to the Top Five Answers to:

You Don’t Survive as a Spy By

1) Jumping Off Buildings. This seems fairly obvious. Especially if you’re talking skyscraper-sized buildings. Even jumping into the water. That can at the very least be extremely painful (which might lead to permanent injuries which prevent you from being a spy). The worst, of course, is that you literally don’t survive.

2) Telling the Truth. “Hello, ma’am! I’m here as a spy of your country’s arch-enemy. Could you please tell me your country’s secrets?” That clearly just doesn’t work. Bad life (and career) choice.

This leads us to our next one.

3) Person1  asks a question of Person2. From behind the closed, locked door comes the answer, from Person3. “How long have you been listening at the keyhole, Person3?” Person1 asks. Person3 enters sheepishly, and says, “Well, you don’t survive as a spy by-“

Revealing how long you’ve been listening at keyholes. Reveal how long you’ve been listening, and they might come after you.

…Uh, “they”?

Shh. You interrupted the list! “They” is a device to make the list more mysterious. Since we’re talking about spies and stuffs.

But as I was saying,

4) Starting a sentence with “You don’t survive as a spy by…”. There’s no surer way of killing your career as a spy by telling people that you’re trying to survive as a spy. You’ve just revealed your profession. This goes with number 2, and that just doesn’t work.

And finally, You don’t survive as a spy by…

5) Dying. Although this may seem obvious, it is important to remember! You can’t survive by dying. So you certainly can’t survive as a spy by dying!

So, there you have it. Five ways to not survive as a spy. If you’re a spy, I recommend you don’t follow any of these. Unless you’re spying on my country. Then you totally should. Especially number 4.

Wow. Subtle.

Thank you!

Why do I even try sarcasm? Why do I even try?

Oh, that was sarcasm again? My bad…

And once again, happy Monday, everyone! I hope you have a wonderful week.

What’s Worse than a Cold McDonald’s Fry?

Hello, everyone!

And Happy Saturday! Man, after yesterday’s post, I’m suddenly appreciating being able to say that.

Anyways, I hope that your weekend is going well. I love good weekends! Although there are few things more disappointing that a weekend going badly. Especially when it looks like it should be a good weekend. That’s really sad.

Speaking of things going badly, I asked some random people about French Fries. But not just french fries.

You know, you really need to work on your transitions…

Yeah, whatever. It worked, didn’t it? At least until you sidetracked me.

Anyways, as I was saying, without further ado:

What Are Five Things Worse than Cold McDonald’s French Fries?

5) Cold Fries from a cafeteria. Those are often just gross anyways, so making them colder makes them on about the same level as McDonald’s French Fries.

4) Molding Potatoes. They apparently smell bad, too.

Seriously, what is up with you and moldy things?

Ok, so, first of all, that was a response to the question. From a real person. Who I asked. And Second, this time at least I’m not justifying the mold, ok?

But back to the list.

3) I’m not sure, but I think that muffin flavored shrimp are probably fairly bizarre.

I hadn’t even realized those were considered “food”.

Moving on…

2) Deep Fried Lizards. Apparently, according to this source, you can buy them in Shanghai. Another friend tried to make the case that it didn’t sound too bad.

I guess it might depend on the size of the lizard, and whether you’re supposed to eat the bones. But it still sounds like it would probably be worse than a cold McDonald’s Fry.

1) Chocolate covered cicadas. I don’t think I need to add anything to this.

But anyways, I hope you have a great rest of your weekend, free from any of these foods!

Here, Have an Angry Banana.

I can’t think of anything I can write about fairly quickly, so here’s a picture of an angry banana.

Angry Banana

The banana’s ANGRY!!!

Well, there you go! Happy-

No. You are NOT calling this an adequate fluff.


This is way too short. Go out there, and find more content.

Even though you likely won’t like what I come up with?

Hey, you wrote the post. And if you don’t get the wordcount up to at least 200, I’m writing the post.

…Fine. Just give me a few minutes.

Bwahaha! Some way of possibly getting to post again! Hmm, now what will I write about when the Webmaster fails? Ancient Spring traditions of my home? Magic rituals…? Oh, the possibili-

I’m back, and I have content!

If you don’t write it, it didn’t happen.

Well, you’re in luck, because without further ado:

The Top Ten Responses to “You are given an Angry Banana: How do you respond?” (Part 1)

  1. Eat it. This seems obvious. After all, if you eat it, it will no longer be angry.
  2. Study it. Why is the banana angry? Were its parents mean to it as a child? Is it suffering from disillusionment about the egocentricity of the political atmosphere of the current world?
  3. Plant it in the ground. Maybe it will sprout more. Then maybe you can have a whole army of angry bananas!
  4. Walk away slowly. After all, what might an angry banana come up with to do to you? You never can tell.

Oh, look! I’m at about 250 words. I guess I’ll make this a two-part post! Thank you Fluffy!

…Blast. I mean, you’re welcome.

Maybe some day there will be actual content on this blog again…

Well, happy Thursday, folks! Tune in tomorrow for the 2nd half of the The Top Ten Responses to “You are given an Angry Banana: How do you respond?”