“Fun” With English

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Fluffsters, I am confuseled.

…Is confuseled even a word?

It is now.

But as I was saying. I saw a sign today that made no sense whatsoever. It was in a restaurantish thing. And it said,

All items may not be available at all locations at all times.

This is just weirding me out. I mean, seriously. Isn’t this the same as saying there’s at least one location that has no item? Because “Every Item” is not available in at least one location? Actually, if you look at it, doesn’t this mean that no location has any items? What does it mean?!

Personally, I think what they meant was “Not all items may be available at all locations at all times.”

Huh. I guess that does work.

Well, happy Wednesday!

DIY Teastained Decorations

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Hiya, Fluffsters!

I am very happy to be providing you with a tutorial today!

In case you hadn’t noticed, I kinda have a bit of a fantasy theme going with my room. And one of the major advantages of fantasy is that you can never have enough decorations!

You either have too few, or too many, but never “enough”?

Something like that.

But this means that when I have free time, I can work on more decorations for my room, and it works!

I’m not completely done with the current project yet. For starters, I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to display the project yet. But I still like the way they’re turning out!

Here’s a picture of segments of part of them, to show you part of what the tutorial will work towards.

Three tea-stained doodles.

Three pieces from the new “Tea” collection… Or something.

So, here we go!

Teastained Dorm/Room Decoration tutorial

Supplies

To do this, you’ll need:

  • paper (Parchment paper looks pretty nifty.)
  • something to draw with
  • A cup for hot water
  • A tea bag. (I used Earl Grey.)
  • Hot water. (approximately 1-4 ounces.)

3 easy Steps

1) Cut or rip paper to appropriate size. I quartered my parchment paper. This gives you more to play with. Also, I don’t really like doing full-size paper thingies. So it works out for me. But make it whatever size you want. If you’re going to make a masterpiece you don’t want to lose any/much of, leave some space around the sides.

You’re going to rip the paper there towards the end of the process, so don’t worry about cutting paper perfectly or anything silly like that. You could rip it to look cool first, but I find it harder to draw on. So for laziness’s sake, I like drawing, and then ripping. (It looks more authentic, too.)

1b) Start your tea steeping. You should probably have done this before you start tearing your paper. You want really strong tea, to get a stronger color.

2) Draw your picture. Or write your poem, or set of proverbs. If you’re lacking inspiration, Fluffy did just share a set of… odd… proverbs and sayings. You can choose what type of medium to draw with. Pencil stays about the same. Ink runs, for a beautifully smudgy effect. (See picture below.)

3) Distress your paper. There are several ways to do this, all of which are variations on “Crumple, uncrumple, wet with oversteeped tea, and tear.” The steps can be rearranged, to different effects.

If you tear before you get the paper wet, the edges look a little rougher. If you get it wet and then start to tear, you have a lot more control over the torn edges.

Crumpling and then submerging the ball in the cup of tea also gives a cool effect.

A smudgy ink tea-stained dragon.

Ink also gives a fun effect! This is “normal” (non-parchment) paper.

This was one that I submerged as a paper-ball. It’s also one that I used ink on. I love how the ink ran into the creases! I haven’t torn this one yet, but I’ll be doing that after it dries. (I want the rougher edge look.)

Distressing your paper without submersion. This can be done in a variety of ways, for a variety of effects.

1) Painted on / sloshed / sponged.

distressed paper with a sketched mug and poem.

Sloshed / sponged / painted tea stain effect.

I used a paper towel to sponge the color on at this point. I then used another paper towel to blot it. Clearly, this is one where I crumpled and tore it after putting tea on it.

You can see the final version of this one peaking its head out in the first picture I shared. (I clearly later added more tea, and ripping effects.)

Spotting / spatter / drip

This is also easy. I took the teabag out of the cup, and bounced it on top of the picture. My story for the picture I did this of is that someone has fond memories of a convict, and therefore has the “wanted” poster snippet nearby. Whoever was keeping the poster will be quite peeved when s/he discovers somebody splashed some tea on it.

A splashed "wanted poster" of parchment paper.

Inspired by Once Upon a Time’s Snow. I know, it’s not obvious. But I tried…

As you can see, the pencil stays clear throughout the entire process. Well, as much as pencil ever does. The spotted coloration here is much more subtle than the complete submersion. Or painted effects. But it’s still fun.

And then, because I’m pleased with how it turned out, here’s a picture of another submerged Ink one.

An old-looking piece of parchment with a weird alphabet on it.

I wonder what ancient civilization’s poetry I found? 🙂

After it dried (somewhat) the first time, I put more tea on the center. That adds a vari-colored effect. But doesn’t that look positively ancient? Or at least, older than 36 hours old?

Well, have fun! I found this a great way to entertain myself.

I think my next set of tea-stained “poetry” will be monologues from “William Shakespeare’s Star Wars.” The poetry within deserves a display like that! And I truly mean that in the best way possible!

So, Fluffsters, do you have any recommendations for how I display this?

Some favorite sayings.

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Greetings, readers! I hope this week is treating you tolerably.

I have been perusing some of your sources of wisdom available to me, or some interesting analogies, an I have chosen some of my favorites to share with you. Without further ado:

Sayings for Life (in no particular order)

1) S/he who laughs last, not get joke. This, of course, s worth remembering. If you’re in a crowd, and others start to laugh, make sure you start to laugh too, and before someone else. Elsewise it will look as though you do not understand the joke.

Jokesters out there, you might also wish to remember this. The last person to laugh at your joke likely does not (or did not) “get” it.

2) Boxing is like ballet, except there is no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. This Jack Handey quote is worth remembering if you ever get into a dance-off with a boxer, or a fight with a ballerina. They are likely to win. Do not attempt this.

3) Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. This is apparently a quote by Elbert Hubbard. With a name like “Elbert”, I am not too surprised he gave that quote.

…Says the person named “Fluffy McGiggles.”

Of course! I completely understand about weird names, and the need to laugh at live because of it.

Moving on.

4) Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. This J.R.R. Tolkein quote illustrates how well he knew wizards.

If my family hadn’t misperformed a play about wizards, after all, I would still be in my home world. Not here.

This brings me to the next one, though:

5) Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, this is also quite accurate. I do not know what ketchup actually tastes like, since we do not have it at home, but since dragons eat everything, I am positive that this quote is factual. Do not approach a dragon. Your life depends upon it.

6) Simply because you are unique does not mean you are useful. I found this one from a page of “Demotivational” posters. (I have recently lost the link, and there were some off-color words used in prior posters, so I am not sharing the link.) This quote is definitely well worth keeping in mind, however.

7) Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. I think this one does not need explanation.

In a similar “no-explanation-necessary category”:

8) A day without sunshine is like night. Someone named Steve Martin apparently made this astute observation.

9) Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. That is one of the most succinct explanations I have encountered.

10) In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. Also known as “even the best laid plans go awry.”

I hope, readers, that you found this information informative and useful.

Are there any favorite proverbs or sayings of yours that I missed?

The horrors of technology, 1909 edition

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Weekend!

I just want to share. You know something I love about the modern day?

Temperature controls?

Well, that too. But I was especially thinking of how we can keep in touch so easily. I post something here, and any of my friends, and even those who I don’t know, can see what I’m up to. With Facebook and Twitter, it’s even easier!

But are you not worried that people are going to start losing touch with each other in real life? Or that technology is going to take over the world?

Actually, I’m not. At all.

People have been borrowing trouble for forever. Seriously. There was a short story written in 1909 about that very possibility. I think the story was probably inspired by the creation of the subway system and telegraphs. When you stop to think about it, that’s not too different from the internet; messaging people became a lot faster and cheaper.

Interesting.

Thank you!

Not you, the story you shared.

Oh.

Yes. It is very interesting how your world has progressed to be a lot more like the world this author envisioned.

In the sense that we can see people and talk to them from a distance, maybe. But we are still appreciative of personal interaction!

And we don’t worship technology. Well, not exactly. It’s useful, and it somewhat dominates our lives, but enough people are learning how to control it that I doubt it will ever truly be worshiped.

Especially as long as bugs in the code keep existing.

Well, that concludes my commentary on society for today. Have a great week!

Cat Armor (?!)

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Hello, Fluffsters!

So, once more, I was totally going to write an epic awesome post, but then totally forgot what I was going to write about and ran out of time anyways. So instead, here’s an average post.

Some people have way to much time on their hands.

How do I know this? Because somebody made some leather cat armor. You read that correctly. Battle armor. Made of leather. For a cat. The pictures are actually pretty cool, though, so you should totally check them out.

Anywho, happy Saturday! Any idea what I was thinking about posting about?

Dragon as Science

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Hello, Fluffsters!

So, something that’s been making the rounds lately is a very cute message from a girl, asking a team of Australian scientists to make a dragon for her.

My question is, Fluffy, why didn’t they ask you for help researching dragons?

…What do you mean?

Well, there are dragons on your world, right?

Correct.

So, why didn’t the scientists try to contact you, to figure out about how to get one of your dragons into our world? Or at least to figure out how the science of dragons works?

First of all, you’re assuming they haven’t tried to contact me.

…They did?

No. I was merely pointing out your assumptions. I think they do not know I exist, and I intend to keep it that way.

Second, even if they did ask, I would say no.

Why? Having a dragon here would be so cool!

Since your world does not have actual dragons, I will not make too big a deal of that sentence.

Dragons from my world are not cool.

They are far more intelligent than any of us mere mortals, magical, and very unfriendly towards mortals. There are very few people who speak with a dragon, and live to tell about it.

As ridiculous as I think your world is, I would not wish a dragon on it. I therefore will not help anyone research how to make dragons, or bring one from my world.

Hm. Ok. I guess that makes sense.

Pity, though.

Well, happy Friday, folks! I hope you have an excellent weekend.

Big Box Stuff

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Thursday!

I want to take this time to say that I am extremely jealous right now.

Oh?

I suppose that it’s understandable to want what they got. After all, I remember reading that cars are-

-It’s not the car I care about! It’s the box that looks amazing!

Seriously, how often do you get a box that adults can make a box fort out of?

Well, since I am not actually in the tangible world right now, technically never.

I wasn’t asking you you. I was asking the “general” you.

The frequency is about the same, though. Not many people get epic boxes like that!

And I totally want one.

Well, happy January 9th! I hope you get the hang of writing “2014” instead of “2013” this week…

Rhythmic Songs and Games and Stuff

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Can you believe we’ve been in 2014 for a week now? And I think I’ve yet to actually write the correct year on anything. Woops.

But enough about me. I have some video (and comments) for your daily procrastination does!

One of my favorite things when I was younger, which I still enjoy, are rhythm games.

For example, I’m sure you’re aware of “The Cup Song.” It’s a cutesy little song over a fun rhythm game that you can do with a cup. Here’s a video, in case you haven’t seen it yet.

Yes, that one. It’s not bad. However, I raise you by Gaelic.

…What? Can you do that?

I most certainly can. For, you see, I have found a version in Gaelic, I believe. It is also fairly impressive. In fact, I’d say more impressive than the original.

Ok. Even if your intro didn’t make any sense, I guess that is pretty cool. Possibly even cooler than the one I found.

Well, yes. That’s why I shared it, Webmaster…

Oh, so this has turned into a competition, has it?

Well, then. As another alternative game, I found a slightly more challenging one. You see, it’s got multiple patterns, and tosses thrown in. And it’s played with two stick-ish things, instead of a single cup.

Oh, yes. I remember seeing that one a while ago. That is definitely cooler than the Cup Song, in terms of difficulty. Possibly even than the Celtic version I found.

Why, Thank yo-

-But there’s also the video from the Polynesian Cultural Center, which has a slightly different tune, but some even cooler patterns.

… I’m not going to win this one, am I?

Not likely.

Hmpf. Well, Happy Wednesday, Readers! I hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

Another Podcast: Cows

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Hello, Fluffsters!

A reader submitted something yesterday, and it is amazing. It’s one of my favorite actors talking about cows. On a podcast.

Who is this actor, you ask?

Actually, yes. I’m not on any podcasts I’m aware of. So I honestly have no idea who you’re talking about.

Patrick Stewart. From Star Trek, Next Generation. And a variety of other things. But most recently, he is the best demonstrator of the different accents of British Cows.

If you have not listened to this yet, stop what you are doing and go there. Now. Seriously.

Ok, now that you’re back… Do you have any interesting things you want to share, to go on this blog? Just email me at webmaster [at] totalfluff.com.

I hope to hear from you! Have a happy Tuesday!

 

Happy (belated) Epiphany!

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday.

So. Something slightly odd happened in Church yesterday morning. We were celebrating Epiphany, which is the day we commemorate the wise men bringing gifts to Jesus. That’s not the odd part.

Wait. Fluffy didn’t interject with a “how odd.”

If I did that every time, I’d become predictable.

I guess that makes sense.

But as I was saying. The odd part was what happened when we sang “The First Noel.” (It’s a classic Christmas carol, but it talks about the wisemen. So therefore it’s epiphany.) You see, I started actually thinking about what the words were saying in verse three:

And by the light of that same star, Three wise men came from country far; To seek for a king was there intent, And to follow that star wherever it went.

As you may have gathered by my emphasis, the last part before the chorus really stood out to me. I had this image of the wise men / three kings following the star to wherever it was.

To seek for a king was their intent, and to follow the star wherever it went wise men.

The wise men 3 follow the star wherever it WENT… including Space.

…Hold on.

Yes?

You drew a picture of “wise men three” with individual rocket packs? In space?

I understand that the physics probably doesn’t(? Don’t?) work. But the song does say that they followed wherever it went.

You have a very odd perspective.

Thank you, I think.

Well, Fluffsters, happy Monday! To any of you starting classes, I hope they all go well! And I hope to continue to provide you with a daily dose of procrastination stress relief! I hope you have an excellent week.