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Rainbows’ Minions: Music

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Fluffsters, we’ve got a problem.

Don’t tell me. This has something to do with your Rainbow Conspiracy…

What gave it away?

Uh, the title?

Oh. Right. Well, yes in fact! This does have to do with the rainbows.

More to the point, it has to do with the Rainbows’ hired minions: –

-Music?

You’re good!

…That’s also in the title.

Oh. Right. But yes. I have recently discovered that Rainbows probably use various pieces of music as minions. Not all music, but some pieces.

I mean, think about it. I’ve already written about how music can pop into your head at any time, and refuses to leave. I’ve referred to those as ear bugs.

Now think further about this: Some music consistently enters your mind when you see certain things or hear certain words. At least, it does for me.

Here’s an example: There’s a campfire ditty I learned. The lyrics are simple: “I see the moon//the moon sees me// the moon sees the one// I want to see. //God bless the moon// and God bless me,// and God bless the one// I want to see.” And now, whenever anyone says “I see the moon”, that little piece of music pops into my head. It’s as though it’s following me around, waiting for the opportunity to come out and demonstrate its existence. Just like rainbows.

My conclusion? Rainbows have enlisted various catchy tunes to serve as their minions. The songs receive training from the rainbows. In return, they too stalk people, always there but never observed until the opportune moment. Then they strike.

Next: People sometimes are more annoyed with songs than with rainbows, which just furthers my conclusion.

How does that follow?

Simple. You see, this provides a brilliant contrast for the rainbows.

People might realize that things popping out at them that are just waiting to be discovered are a bad thing, especially when it’s music that’s annoying and gets stuck in your head. Then, just when the poor victims feel that all hope is lost, they realize that there is something else following them that comes unannounced: Rainbows. Since people are predisposed to go “Ooh, shiny!”-

Oh, you admit that?

Yes. Now let me finish my point.

Since people are inclined to go “ooh, sparkly!” they come to the conclusion that there are two types of hidden phenomena: Music (which is creepy), and rainbows (which are the protectors of human kind.) Little do they know that actually music is just the rainbow’s minion, designed to put rainbows in a better light.

So to speak.

What?

Oh, I did make a pun there, didn’t I?

Also, I theorize that rainbows also use music to slowly drive everyone insane so that they can eventually take over the world more easily. But the primary purpose is for publicity and HR.

…Ah. I see.

So as I said, Fluffsters, we have a problem. Your task is to figure out what music you think is working for the Rainbows. Maybe, together, we can solve this problem ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Anywho, happy Thursday!

Funny Phone Phenomenon

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Wednesday!

So, last night an amusing incident happened. I’m in the process of trying to learn econometrics.

…How amusing. Words cannot express how hilarious that is.

That wasn’t the amusing part!

Are you sure? I didn’t even know you knew what econometrics is!

Ha ha. Very funny. I know perfectly well that econometrics is advanced statistics for economics. After all, I am studying it.

But that’s beside the point. The funny part, you see, happened when I tried to organize a group meeting to work on it together. I was using my phone, you see, which has a feature that tries to guess what your next word is going to be. So I typed in econometrics, and the word it suggested follow? “Woes.” I’m fairly sure I’ve never used the word econometrics on my phone before. I’m also fairly sure it’s never been followed by the word “woes.” I found it amusing.

But how about you, Fluffsters? Any amusing phone incidents? Or anything at all?

Pudding Miles

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Hello, Fluffsters!

I am really happy right now.

Why? Did you find another abysmal music video that you-don’t-really-think-is-offensive-despite-your-claims?

Not recently, no.

Actually, I’m happy about something I’d been unaware of that happened about 13 years ago.

Apparently, some guy found a loophole in a airline mile competition, and so got over a million airline miles… by buying pudding.

Stories like that make me happy. With a little ingenuity, and a lot of hard work, a guy was able to receive a lot. Further, it apparently didn’t actually cause many problems to the companies. All three parties (the airlines, the food company, and the person who bought the food) all ended up benefiting. Granted, it wasn’t the expected result for the company. But even so, they ended up with a lot of publicity because of this!

…you people.

What?

Just… never mind.

… Okay! Well, happy Tuesday, folks! I hope you have a great one.

Movie Review: Monty Python Trailer

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Yesterday, I saw one of the more amusingly epic things that I’ve seen in a while.

Oh no. Please tell me there’s not something that’s rivaling the fox song…

Oh, no. This isn’t a music video- it’s a trailer.

A… trailer? That’s what you’re excited about right now?

Well, you see, it’s not just a trailer. It’s a trailer of a movie that’s already been made, and that’s already a comedic classic. I’m talking, of course, about the Monty Python and the Holy Grail Modern Trailer that came out last Tuesday. (September 10.)

That actually doesn’t look to bad. Are you sure it’s a funny trailer?

Absolutely. The trailer is so serious, and for a movie that’s extremely ridiculous.

…The movie isn’t a serious movie?

Monty Python? Oh my, no. That’s the movie that brings you such lines as “Help, help, I’m being repressed!” and “Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?” Trust me, it’s one of the sillier popular motion pictures around. In fact, with it being so silly, I’m very impressed with…

Ways the ‘modern trailer’ made Monty Python and the Holy Grail look like a serious movie…

1) The opening music. The combination of chorale and open-sounding percussion makes the tone a compelling adventure type sound.

2) The drum interjections. Throughout the course of the trailer, an emphatic beat comes in to emphasize “drama!” Since there are a few scenes in the movie that look dramatic, whoever made this trailer was able to take those, and emphasize the “Hey, this move looks awesome!” factor and make it appear that the entire movie is like that.

3) Other musical interjections. About thirty seconds in, there’s a rumbly-grindy-modern-y sounding noise reminiscent of rocks tumbling. This sound against the backdrop of a castle gives the impression that there will be epic sieges, possibly including tumbling castles.

3) The “subtitles”. “In a Kingdom of Despair…” some hovering text reads… This is remarkably similar to movie trailers like the one for “Master and Commander…” again, a dramatic serious film. Also, when you label something “kingdom of despair” and have dark music playing, people are going to believe that you mean it. Not that there are peasants who are basically Marxists, and provide a marvelous commentary on politics.

4) The out-of-context epicness. “There is a pestilence upon this land! Nothing is sacred!” “What is your name? And what is your quest?” and “I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot” all sound fantastic… outside of the movie. In the movie, those are actually usually followed by a fair bit of laughter from the audience. Similarly with all the sword fights.

All of those things combine to make a marvelous trailer that, while technically true, is so misleading it is hilarious. I highly recommend this trailer.

BRRRAAAAIIINSSSS!

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Yesterday, I had a fun opportunity. I got to serve a creepy brain jello!

What’s that you’re saying? “It’s just jello, how can it possibly be creepy?”

I’m glad you asked.

Actually, they didn’t…

Oh, come on. I can pretend, can’t I?

As I was saying, I’m glad you asked. It can be creepy… like THIS!!

creepy gray brain jello with gummy worms sticking out

Creepy, right?

Isn’t that nasty looking?

So… is this the next “mold is good” thing with you?

Technically, yes, since I do have a jello mold to thank for this.

But as I was saying, isn’t that creepy? I love making this thing. The jello itself is peach flavored. The gummy worms are sour, which gave the jello a bit of a slightly interesting flavor. There’s also (fat free) evaporated milk in it, which is what makes it semi-opaque. It also slightly changes the consistency to be a bit more… solid. The stuff really feels about like what you’d expect chilled brain consistency to be.

People’s reactions to it are absolutely priceless. Some will stare at it in horror. Others will take the gummy worms sticking out of the jello, and therefore eat the gray stuff that comes with it. And a few brave souls will take large quantities of it and delight in eating “brains.”

Everybody who tries it likes the flavor. (After all, it’s jello. Peach jello. It’s not actually that weird.) At the same time, however, most people think it a bit… disgusting. Especially if they think about the fact that it’s “brains” they’re eating. I love having the opportunity to make and serve it.

And I think I really do not want to know what constitutes a good time to make a dessert that looks like a human organ. A worm infested human organ.

Ok, fine. Spoilsport.

Happy Saturday, though! I hope you’re having a great weekend!

Hooray, this made the news…

Hello, Fluffsters!

Everybody can relax now- the United States ranking 17 in the most happy nations of the world qualified as a valid news article. Now all that we need to wait for is the breaking news article about how Iceland ranks in the world for Number of People Who Wear Green.

Where did that come from?

The internet…

No, not the article. The “Green” ranking. And Iceland?

Do you have something against Iceland?

No, I just don’t see how that question makes any sens-

Well, happy Tuesday, Fluffsters! I hope you have a good day.

Analysis of why “The Fox” song might be offensive

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Hello, Fluffsters!

I’ve been thinking about the fox song that was talked about in yesterday’s post, and I realized I may have been wrong about it.

You’ve come to the realization that it’s a bad song?

Maybe. In fact, it might actually be fairly offensive, when you stop to think about it.

Because it insults your intelligence? Don’t many things in life do so?

What? No! That is to say, I’m not offended by “the fox song insulting my intelligence.”

On the contrary, it just communicates at a brainier level than most expect.

Why am I suddenly getting the feeling that I don’t want to know where this is going?

I don’t care.

Here’s why I think this song is potentially offensive: after thinking about it, I realized that foxes are typically thought of as introverted type creatures. According to wikipedia, they typically live alone.

Many of the other animals mentioned throughout the song (dogs, cows, elephants, and birds, for example) live in groups. By using the groupish animals as a type of counterexample, the composers are clearly setting this song up as a contrast between two groups: Extroverts (group lovers), versus introverts (solitary types).

Uh, are you sure you’re not reading too much into thi-

Now, that simple classification itself isn’t too much of a problem. As I’ve ranted about earlier, people tend to try to put others into boxes. It’s annoying, but that’s not the purpose of this rant.

No. The purpose of this rant is threefold, because the song can be seen as insulting both introverts and extroverts. And animals.

Now I’m just confused. Again.

Actually, Fluffy, it’s not that complicated. Here is my analysis:

How The Fox Song Can Offend Animals.

As I mentioned earlier in the post, the singer goes through and talks about different types of animals, and what they say. He then goes on to talk exclusively about the fox. This dismissal doesn’t qualify as equal opportunity for all animals. In fact, there are a number of animals he doesn’t even mention that have equally perplexing noises, or lack thereof. What about the giraffe, for example? Why don’t they have their own song? Or chorus line? And how about parrots, too? They’re great imitators- what are their natural noises? Does anyone truly know? How do we know that parrots’ natural noises haven’t been tainted by child birth? But do they even get mentioned? No!

And then the fox itself. The artist doesn’t even try to be reasonable with what the fox might say. Furthermore, they use what must be a computer generated fox to indicate what they really think sound like. All foxes that watch that video will likely feel insulted.

Of… course.

And then there’s the introvert/extrovert aspect.

Why the fox song might upset extroverts.

Extroverts. They love groups and attention, right? Well here, they only get a second on camera. Tops. They’re introduced, given a single line, and then dismissed. This is unfair. Why can’t extroverts have more camera time?

Also, they’re being so casually dismissed. By indicating that we know what the extroverted animals say, that says we know all that we need to about those creatures. If you further that argument to extroverts in general, you’re indicating that you know exactly what an extrovert is going to say all the time, and that it doesn’t matter! That’s very offensive! It also indicates that what people say is all that matters. Well, whatever happened to “actions speak louder than words,” Mr. Ylvis?

Ylvis also presents foxes as mysterious, and therefore awesome. The others are presented as unmysterious, and therefore uninteresting.

Now Webmaster, I really don’t think the song was meant to be viewed that wa-

But that’s not all.

Why the song could offend introverts.

The entire song is about trying to get someone (who doesn’t want to say anything) to speak.

By choosing a fox, which is one of the more introverted type of animals, Ylvis plainly decided to make this a metaphor for all introverts.

Clearly…

That means that all the artist says about foxes is meant to apply to introverts.

So when Ylvis sings “What does the fox say?”, he’s actually saying “What do introverts say?”

Now, on the surface this doesn’t appear to be an entirely offensive question. But upon deeper analysis, the true intent can be seen, and thus indicate the potentially malicious idea behind this. In reality, there are at least two problems behind this question.

The first, and the most obvious one, is the inherent idea that Ylvis deserves to know what you’re saying. He’s not saying, “please, dear introverts, would you tell me what you’re thinking? Or what you’d like to say?” No. Instead he’s writing a song, comparing introverts to a single type of animal, demanding to know what introverts are saying. (Side note: That also seems to imply that he thinks introverts speak an entirely different language. Thanks a lot.)

The next problem, and one that can only be understood by the greater context of the song, is the indication that all introverts think exactly alike. The analysis here is also fairly straightforward. The composer uses many different types of extroverted animals, all of which say something different. Now, the composer just uses a single fox, to represent all the shy introverted people. He clearly thinks they must all say the same thing.

I don’t think I’ve encountered anyone else reading this much into that song. It’s certainly not that bad a song! It just insults the intelligence of the listeners. Seriously, just sto-

That’s not all, though. Oh, no.

The artist then tries to come up with ideas for what the introverts foxes might say. Or so they claim. In reality, can anyone deny that they’re just using this as an opportunity to make fun of the quiet folks, by making up loud obnoxious things that introverts clearly would not say, and are thus trying to bully all quiet people into conforming to the artist’s standards?

As I said, the song could easily be considered offensive.

…You don’t actually believe what you just wrote, do you? Please tell me you realize that the song did not intend to say all that you just said it said? And that it’s biggest problem is its lack of content, not its overabundance of it?

Of course I don’t! I just wanted to rant about it in a way that you’d be forced to defend the song.

WHAT? That is so not fair.

Funny, though. And it worked, didn’t it? You did claim the song wasn’t actually that bad.

Anyways, Fluffsters, happy Monday! I hope you have a good one.

Making a game in 30 minutes

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Yesterday I had a fun experience. In a group today, we ended up working on designing a game. Now, here are the details: we had 10 minutes to figure out what our game instructions were going to be. We were also given specific supplies. In this case, it was a supply of paper, cups, coffee stirrer-straws, and napkins.

Given that I was dealing with extreme allergies, I wasn’t feeling too inspired. I may also have been feeling a tad bit annoyed at life in general, and this presented a wonderful opportunity to share my frustration.

My teammate & I decided that we would make a game reminiscent of soccer. Each player was to be given a piece of paper, which they were to turn into balls. (They could choose what size.) Then, the player uses the coffee-stirrers to blow the paper into the cups.

Have you ever tried blowing through a coffee stirrer? It’s really annoying. And trying to blow with enough force to move a paper ball (and get it over the lip of the cup) is even more annoying.

The players all had fun, but they definitely made laughing comments about feeling like they were about to pass out. There were also a comment about how this seemed like the sort of game one would give to a hyperactive small child in order to wear them out. (What can I say? I was a nursery worker for about 5 years… Those sorts of things have been trained into me. Even subconsciously.)

But the end result? My teammate and I successfully made a fun, playable game, and play tested it, in less than half an hour. It was really fun.

So, have any of you done anything like this, fluffsters? If so, I’d love to hear about it!

“Food” from the cafeteria

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Today at the cafeteria, I saw a highly suspicious looking dessert. So, naturally, I needed to take a piece and snap a photo of it.

grasshopper pie: Brown & green mush

Grasshopper Pie

It tasted only marginally better than it looked. (Neither the mint nor the chocolate were strong enough to make up for its disturbing coloration.)

Of course, any time I see something “dyed a tempting green”, I think of this lovely clip from the musical Peter Pan, starring Mary Martin.

How about you, fluffsters? Any odd desserts recently?

Stupid thrice blasted allergies, and responses to them.

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Hi, Fluffsters!

Apologies for any lack of coherence in this post coming up. I’m allergic to corn pollen, and I’m temporarily in an area surrounded by corn fields. This is making me very unhappy right now.

On the plus side, though, it provides an easy way to think of a topic for today:

Ways to deal with allergies.

1) Take medicine. About 2 times out of 7 (it seems) this actually helps. I recommend Loratidine. It sometimes even works on colds.

2) Mope. This garners a bit of sympathy, and might get you free hugs. On the other hand, this makes you less pleasant company and makes people less eager to spend time with you, thereby decreasing your normal number of hugs. So actually, this is probably not the best option.

…Because hugs are the most important thing.

3) Surround yourself with tissues. This is a must. Especially if your medicine isn’t working.

4) Buy a chapstick for your nose. This is to help your nose after you’ve rubbed it raw with tissues or napkins, or whatever else you have to wipe your nose with. I actually recommend the mint ones. Although they dry out your skin, they make your nose tingle and make it not hurt. At least for a while.

5) Eat chocolate. This won’t actually help your allergies, but at least it tastes good!

6) Drink caffeinated coffee. This actually works. At least, it’s worked for me. Decaf? Not so much. Caffeinated bubbly beverages? Maybe. But coffee’s good, and it has anti-oxidants, which are supposedly good for you and stuff.

7) Cut off your nose. I’ve yet to try this solution, but I imagine it would remove congestion in your nose. On the other hand, then you’d go without a nose for the rest of your life, and therefore look weird. And be unable to smell anything. But, you know, priorities. You’d no longer have allergies, right?

8) Stand up and walk around. I’ve found that this often really helps. I have no clue why, but sitting down or lying down are typically the worst positions for allergy-fighting. Standing up and walking seems to frequently be the best. At least for me.

9) Write a blog post about it. Of course, this doesn’t actually help with your allergies. But it at least provides writing material.

So there you go, Fluffsters! Hopefully one of these options will work for you. If you have any other thoughts, please let me know? My nose seriously seems to be trying to kill me right now…