Tag Archives: webmaster

Another Fluffy Owl Picture

Note: If this is your first time visiting TotalFluff, please read this brief explanation.

Hello, everyone!

For your fluffy enjoyment today, I did another doodle. This time of an ~~elephant~~ owl. A fluffy owl.

Fluffy Small Owl is LOOKING AT YOU!

So, Webmaster… Why did you cross out “elephant”?

Well, the main difference between an owl and an elephant is the wings. Elephants’ wings are known as “ears”. Owls’ wings are known as “wings.”

Seriously?! It’s like you haven’t even lived in the real world! Are you, in fact, truly in that dimension?

Well, I think so.

And hey, you asked.

I know… You’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you?

Anyways, Happy Friday! I hope you have a great weekend.

Owls Illustrate Old Words

Site of Interest: Book-A-Minute

1 Reply

Hello, everyone! Happy Wednesday!

You know, you should really figure out a more interesting opening to your blog posts…

It’s not as though you do any better on any of your posts.

But as I was saying, it’s Wednesday! By about noon today, you’ll be halfway done with the work-week, school-week, whatever-part-of-the-week-you-call-it-week! And do you know what that means? Free time is coming up!

That’s… planning ahead.

I admit to being surprised, Webmaster!

Yup. I try!

Anyways, since you’re going to have free time, here’s a great site to spend some of it on. It’s a website that ultra-condenses books, called book-a-minute.

Wow… I just visited that. You meant ultra-condenses books. That’s slightly scary.

Yeah! It’s better than Sparknotes!

Please don’t tell me you’re actually using these to get what the story is about. Please.

…

No. You’re not serious…?

…

Happy Wednesday! I hope you enjoy the rest of your week, and find that site useful and fun.

You don’t stay alive as a spy by… (Top 5)

2 Replies

Note: If this is your first time to this site, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, everyone! Happy Monday!

Today’s post is another “Answer the Question” one.

Please. Just no more muffin flavored shrimp, ok?

Don’t worry! Not in this post. No, today’s question was:

Finish the following sentence: “You don’t survive as a spy by…”

I got a variety of answers. Some of them made sense. Others, like “eating porridge”, “Eating fried chicken”, “being the slowest fish in the pond”, and “Kissing hands” were a little… confusing.

What’s confusing about them?

Clearly, where food is concerned, that points out one of two things. Either

1) eating exclusively those things. That’s, after all, going to draw attention to you. Or

2) The food is poisoned.

…Oookay, then!

So, slowest fish in the pond?

Well, then you lose your cover when you try to escape.

…Ah.

Well, anyways. Back to the Top Five Answers to:

You Don’t Survive as a Spy By

1) Jumping Off Buildings. This seems fairly obvious. Especially if you’re talking skyscraper-sized buildings. Even jumping into the water. That can at the very least be extremely painful (which might lead to permanent injuries which prevent you from being a spy). The worst, of course, is that you literally don’t survive.

2) Telling the Truth. “Hello, ma’am! I’m here as a spy of your country’s arch-enemy. Could you please tell me your country’s secrets?” That clearly just doesn’t work. Bad life (and career) choice.

This leads us to our next one.

3) Person1 asks a question of Person2. From behind the closed, locked door comes the answer, from Person3. “How long have you been listening at the keyhole, Person3?” Person1 asks. Person3 enters sheepishly, and says, “Well, you don’t survive as a spy by-“

Revealing how long you’ve been listening at keyholes. Reveal how long you’ve been listening, and they might come after you.

…Uh, “they”?

Shh. You interrupted the list! “They” is a device to make the list more mysterious. Since we’re talking about spies and stuffs.

But as I was saying,

4) Starting a sentence with “You don’t survive as a spy by…”. There’s no surer way of killing your career as a spy by telling people that you’re trying to survive as a spy. You’ve just revealed your profession. This goes with number 2, and that just doesn’t work.

And finally, You don’t survive as a spy by…

5) Dying. Although this may seem obvious, it is important to remember! You can’t survive by dying. So you certainly can’t survive as a spy by dying!

So, there you have it. Five ways to not survive as a spy. If you’re a spy, I recommend you don’t follow any of these. Unless you’re spying on my country. Then you totally should. Especially number 4.

Wow. Subtle.

Thank you!

Why do I even try sarcasm? Why do I even try?

Oh, that was sarcasm again? My bad…

And once again, happy Monday, everyone! I hope you have a wonderful week.

Fluffy (computer-smudge-art-drawn) Bunny!

3 Replies

Hello, everyone!

Happy Sunday! I hope you have a blessed day.

Anyways, I’ve realized that there’s a distinct lack of fluffy bunnies on my website. So I’m here to (somewhat) fix that.

…Really? ANOTHER pointless, content-less post?

Well, not entirely pointless. You get to see a hand-done picture of a bunny!

Fluffy Bunny! Or Fluffeh Bunneh. Hand-done with a computer

Hand-Done Fluffy Bunny, via smudge-art!

Oh goody. I’m so thrilled. Words cannot express…

Aww, thank you!

You know? I really miss in-person interactions. I can’t tell when you know that I’m being sarcastic.

Anyways, happy Sunday!

I have a follower that’s waiting for me to discover it.

1 Reply

Rainbows. They’re really pretty. And slightly… creepy

Rainbows are creepy?!

Yes! The way that they follow you around, waiting for you to discover them?

WHAT are you talking about?

Rainbows! I’ve said that already!

Ok. And by Rainbows, do you mean creepy guys in hooded masks that sneak from bush to bush?

No! I mean the pretty things that are usually found in the sky, but sometimes on the ground. And are really pretty.

I was afraid you were going to say that. So tell me again, how the brassicae fati are rainbows creepy?

Well, you see, everyone sees a different rainbow. So if that’s the case, than everyone has their own unique rainbow, right?

If everyone has their own unique rainbow, that means that (in order for the rainbow to be found everywhere rainbows are found) the rainbow must follow you around. So that if ever the time arises, your rainbow pops out and says “Surprise! I’m your rainbow! I’ve gotten a little cosmetic surgery done, but do you still like me? I like you! I’ve been following you everywhere!”

OMGZ YORE MY FAVORITEZ!

And people are normally all, like, “Aww, that’s so sweet little rainbow! I’m so happy you’re following me everywhere begging for my attention!” and they’re serious. I mean really. If a person did that, wouldn’t it be creepy? If a puppy does that, isn’t it annoying? But it’s a rainbow, so everyone’s okay with this! We have problems, people!

That is disturbing!

Thank you!

No, not that. You.

HOW DO YOU EVEN COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?!

I don’t know. It just… comes to me. And then keeps me up all night. You know?

Oh, Caffeine! I understand now.

Well, Webmaster, I’d recommend getting some sleep. You’ve shared enough disturbingness for one day.

What?

Oh, ok.

Well, Happy Tuesday, everyone! I hope your week’s going well. And steer clear of the rainbows. They may look innocent, but I’m sure that deep down, they’re just waiting for a chance to strangle somebody.

Different colors of light are waiting to strangle y-

Oh, nevermind.

Please, readers, remember. These views do not reflect my own. Rainbows are totally harmless, and quite pretty to look at. And if they are following me around, I’m fairly sure there’s nothing serious they can do.

That’s what they want you to think.

As I was saying, please, just have a good day, okay? You know, happy Tuesday! And all that good stuff. And again, please just try to ignore the webmaster. In fact, I’m seriously tempted to just delete this po-

DON’T YOU DARE!

Fine. I guess I won’t actually delete this post. Happy Tuesday.

An Infographic about Infographics!

4 Replies

Hello, everyone!

I have learned recently that Infographics are the way to go.

“Infographic”? And what way to go?

In reverse order, 1) I have no clue, and 2) here’s an infographic to help you with infographics:

An infographic about identifying infographics

An Infographic about Infographics? How Meta do you get?

I hope that helps!

Somehow, I’m not entirely sure if I believe your infographic…

Oh?

You equate 1000 words with an image. I don’t think that works in this case…

…

But the font is so pretty! How can you contest what the font says? Anyways, can’t you trust everything you find on the internet?

…

Anywho, happy Wednesday!