Category Archives: fluffy

If I had a dollar every time…

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Tuesday!

Today, I’m going to be talking about approximate monetary values of certain phrases in your culture. Or rather, I will be discussing some of the events and possible monetary compensation of some of the outcomes of those phrases.

Huh?

I’m going to look at how much money I’d have from (something)

If I had a dollar for every time (something) occurred.

Oh.

Yes. So:

If I had a dollar…

1) every time I write “if I had a dollar” in this post (up to this point) I’d have about $3. Maybe 4. It depends on a) how you count the time in this response, and 2) how you count the title. This leads to

2) Every time The Webmaster tries to disorder a list or make it more “interesting”, I’d be able to buy a car. It might only be a small plastic toy car, but I could probably have a care.

Oh, come on. I don’t pull off out of order lists that often.

Only because I stop you. Anyways.

3) Every time I’ve used a Z & an X in the same sentence, naturally,I’d probably have almost enough to buy a penny gumball.

Can you do something more than zero times, but less than once?

No. It was “artistic license.” I have it because I’m an actress.

Oh.

But that’s enough for right now! How about you, Fluffsters? If you had a dollar for every time you did “something”, what would that something be, and how much do you guess you’d have?

The Spitting Image.

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Hello, Fluffsters! I’m confused, so I’m going to get straight to the point. Have you considered how ridiculous some of your English phrases and words are?

Uh, some of them. Why?

Well, one phrase in particular has been bothering me.

Do I want to kno-

“The Spitting Image” of someone.

What does it even mean?

Alright. So I know that it “means” an “exact likeness.” Or extreme similarity. Or something like that. But really: “Spitting” “Image”. Those two words are being used together. It doesn’t make sense!

Oh, that phrase! That’s an easy one!

You see, spit is made up of mostly water. Water reflects quite nicely. Since you spit near yourself, it’s that much easier for the water to reflect you. Hence: Spitting Image.

…I seriously don’t know why I try.

Seriously, why do I try?

Because the show must go on? But what do you mean, anyways? Do you think my explanation is inadequate?

Yes. I do think it’s inadequate. A website devoted to phrases hasn’t been able to figure out the true origin adequately. I doubt that your explanation is the right one.

Hmpf. I thought you were the one who asked.

For a good explanation.

Or at least not a crazy one. So, Fluffsters, do you have any thoughts on what that phrase actually means? If so, please leave a comment below! Happy Friday!

How to thoroughly bore yourself

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Greetings, Readers!

From what I understand, your world is currently experiencing Summer.

One of the staples of Summer, from what I can gather, is perpetual boredom. After you are bored, solutions can be considered. But until you are bored, what point is there to any of the solutions? After all, if something isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

Huh. I’d always remembered it as “if it isn’t broken, fix it until it is!”

But I digress. Today, I am here to give you a list of ways to try to live your Summer to its fullest: By becoming bored.

5 Ways to Achieve Boredom

1) Sit in a very crowded room, with nothing to do. Especially if you cannot communicate with anyone. I’m sure you were thinking my first recommendation would be to find someplace quiet and sit. That is a bad solution. If there’s nothing else going on, you can think. If that fails, you can take a nap. With a crowded room, however, you cannot concentrate on anything. You cannot even concentrate on your own thoughts! Believe me, this is one of the best methods for achieving boredom.

2) Try to read a textbook on advanced empirical methods for statistical studies on the eating habits of the fruit-fly. Or something equally esoteric. If you’re a statistics nerd, try reading James Joyce.

3) Do 2… in Hebrew. Greek, if you already know Hebrew. That way you have even less chance of understanding what’s going on. That confusion will inevitably lead to boredom.

Wait a second… I don’t think it’s possible to have less of a chance of understanding what’s going on. You can’t have less than a zero-percent chance of something, right?

Ah, I can tell that you haven’t read “Advanced Empirical Methods for Statistical Studies on the Eating Habits of the Fruit-Fly.” The statistics would explain that possibility to you.

4) Put the fluffiest piece of music you can find on perpetual loop, and lock yourself in a room with it for a week. This is actually very similar to 1. But this has the added bonus of killing 7 days!

5) Paint some ebony black, an emerald green, a ruby red, or ivory white. Do your best to match the colors. Please note, this will be a slightly more expensive option.

I hope, dear readers, that this helps you attain the full Boredom that is promised with Summer! Have a fantastic Thursday!

Fluffy’s Thoughts on Diamond Rings

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Hello, Fluffsters!

I have recently come across a tradition in your world which I find interesting: Gifting a future bride a diamond to celebrate the occasion.

Now, according to this article, the reasoning behind buying a diamond engagement ring is all a hoax or a sham or something like that. The article claims that it was one jewelry firm that sold the idea of a diamond ring being all-important, and single-handedly created the diamond engagement ring business in America. (I have no clue if that’s true or not.)

If it is true, that is amazing. One company? Revolutionizing how an entire country views an engagement? Wow. That takes talent.

If I were in your world, and if I were engaged, I would probably want a diamond ring, just because of that. Especially if the young man had read the article. You see, the diamond ring is now a symbol. A symbol of multiple things. In America, in common knowledge, it is a symbol of love. The future husband loves the girl enough to sacrifice a large portion of his income for her, to show his commitment. The diamond itself will last for essentially forever, thus further symbolizing the love between the two. The diamond is also the hardest substance known to man, and nearly impossible to break. The marriage should be like that.

And the extra dimensions the article added?

1) Overcoming hardship. The company seemed to doing really badly. And yet they were able to turn the hard times around, and make it through.

2) Change is possible. The diamond. The most inflexible material in the world. And it changed an entire country. One company, according to the article, changed the country. If a company can do that, couldn’t a husband and wife learn to adapt? And together, could they not impact their community in a dramatic fashion? Change is possible, and the diamond ring symbolizes that. I mean, when it comes down to it, the diamond itself is a changed form of carbon. But this article? It just adds a whole new dimension!

So, Mr. Rohin Dahr? I’m sorry! Your article just sold me on diamonds even more. Try harder next time?

Anyways, Fluffsters, have a great day!

Things Worth Sharing

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

Today, I want to talk about some things that are worth sharing.

Please tell me your random pair of socks in your purse is not one of those things…

Of course not!

Oh, good.

Then they become the random pair of socks outside your purse. Which are, of course, shareable.

Why. Just, why?

Webmaster, that does not count as “shareable.” It just doesn’t.

Ok… What about a running commentary on what music is currently stuck in my head?

That probably depends. What music is stuck in your head right now?

A song from a Disney musicalish thing! Found only in the Florida pa-

No.

Your license to share your muic has been officially revoked.

Hm. How abou-

I’m going to guess that’s “no” as well.

Ok, smarty, fine! YOU write this list! Goodbye!

Alright, I will!

What, no response? Ok, well, here it goes.

3 Apparently Shareable Things (by modern standards.)

1) What you had for lunch. Especially if you take a picture of it. Google and Facebook have mentioned this to me, so I’m guessing it must be so. (I don’t quite get it, but I’m sure it makes more sense when you live in a tangible world.)

2) Jokes and bad puns. Yes, those two are sometimes (but not always) different. Both are definitely worth sharing, though. Although jokes about fields are just corny. And comments about laughing cows are too cheesy.

3) This website about some overused expressions in your world. The analysis was amusing.

Well, that’s enough for right now! I hope you have a good week!

 

The Phoenix and the Pineapple

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Greetings, Fluffsters! It has been too long since I’ve written a post.

You could have written yesterday’s…

You got there first. Besides, I like to keep my changes subtle. Like the change I did to- oh, right. I shouldn’t be telling you.

Change? What change? Where?

Oh, nothing… Pretend I didn’t say anything.

What did you change?

You don’t honestly think I’m going to tell you, do you?

Gah! Excuse me, Fluffsters. I’m going to try to track down Fluffy’s change…

 

Huh, that was effective.

Now, while she’s off on her wild goose chase, I’m going to tell you a story.

The Phoenix and the Pineapple

Once, a long time ago, one the Phoenixem had recently been reborn from the flames. It was a young phoenix, and had only celebrated its rebirth five times previously.

Now, each phoenix gains time between its rebirths. In fact, it may go up to as many months without a rebirth as it has had rebirths. So a new phoenix would burn into a new egg within a month. A Second Generating phoenix could wait up to two months. Of course, if something happened to it, it would instantly go up in flames into another egg. But no phoenix could enjoy its current generation for longer. The memories would survive each birth, and the personality would remain the same.

This young phoenix, as mentioned previously, just celebrated its fifth rebirth. It had lived, therefore, for nearly ten months. That of course is very young for a phoenix.

Within two days after its rebirth, the young phoenix decided to explore.

On wings of flame, it shot towards the skies- a comet in the clouds. Everyone who saw it watched with delight. There were only a few of the Phoenixem in existence. To watch one fly was said to bring Luck- both good and bad, for all magics were attracted to the Phoenixem – but the observers cared not. The spectacular beauty outweighed any potential negative effects.

That very day, a single seed fell in the spot of the Phoenix’s rebirth. The magics in the area sparked it to life, and out of the ground grew a slim pineapple plant. The plant absorbed the magics of the Phoenix, and glowed with an inner beauty. Rumors of this pineapple flew on the winds. Soon all had heard of it. Rumors abounded. Some claimed it would bring the dead back to life. Others claimed it would spontaneously combust. Before long, a crowd gathered around the plant. Half wanted to pluck the fruit and taste it; the other half were ready to defend it.

Finally, someone thought of the phoenix.

“It is a portent!” the villager said. “The Phoenix flew overhead, and the tree appeared! The Phoenix has not forgotten us; it left this in its place, to attract the magics!”

The villager was, of course, wrong. The Phoenix was young, and so had not intentionally drawn anything near its nesting ground. But none of the other members of the mob knew this.

“We must let it stand!” another villager said. “Eventually, it will ripen and fall on its own. Once that happens, we will see what it brings!”

And the villagers agreed. Although many still desired to pick it, they realized the folly of harvesting magic prematurely. And so they let the plant stand, and posted an honor guard, night and day, to watch the plant.

This lasted for 76 days.

On the 77th day, the Phoenix returned to its roost.

It came again on wings of flame, and the guards scattered. Although the phoenixem are peaceful, they may unintentionally harm others, for their flame is fierce.

When the phoenix returned to its roost, it noticed the plant with surprise and delight. It compared itself to the plant, and saw the inner glow. Slowly, the phoenix crept closer to the plant, still very curious.

It tilted its head around, to examine the plant better. It then finally understood. Despite the fact that it was glowing, the fruit was a pineapple!

A phoenix with its head nearly upside down

The phoenix tilted its head. It finally recognized the pineapple!

In the phoenix’s time abroad, it had come across the exquisite fruit multiple times before. It had developed quite the taste for them.

Without thinking about it further, the phoenix clawed the fruit open, and took a bite.

Delicious. The fruit was hot, sweet, and everything the phoenix looked for in a pineapple.

As soon as it removed he last vestiges of the fruit from the plant, to the phoenix’s surprise, the tree spontaneously combusted. In its place, a new seedling arose.

The phoenix smiled in delight, as only a bird can. The seed had gained some of the same magic of the Phoenixem! The fruit would regenerate!

And so the phoenix lived happily ever after with its fiery fruit.

The end.

Happy Tuesday, Fluffsters! Fare thee well, and I hope you have a marvelous day.

Colored Comforts

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Today’s topic is color.

Back home, Colors sometimes have magical significance. It’s a bit hard to explain, since I’m not a magician, but basically colors get associated with certain aspects. These aspects usually have emotions associated with them. Just to clarify, the colors themselves are not magical. They are just used in magic, and sometimes attract magical influences. Because of this, some colors are extremely closely related to the emotion of comfort or relaxation in my mind.

Gem tones and blues especially have aspects of comfort associated with them.

Deep red is normally used for comfort in mourning. The red brings to mind the loss of the loved one, but yet it’s still comforting. I assume the Color Sprites are involved somehow.

Purple is especially good for comforting children. I have no clue why. It’s possible that the Purple Color Sprites have a more maternal aspect to them, but I seriously don’t know.

Blue of any shade is a more generic comfort. It works for every situation that needs comfort, but is not as effective in specific situations.

Green, and especially emerald, attract home-comfort Color Sprites. More to the point, it attracts the Color Sprites that are fond of growing things. Because of this, many houses with large gardens will have large amounts of green worked into the color scheme.

As I said, though, it’s not just the color that is important. The colors also need to work well together in order to attract the Color Sprites. So there is a tangible benefit to decorating the interior of a house well. You can’t just have red and green forced together in a hideous manner; that usually causes any positive magical influence to leave, and instead attracts mischievous magics.

But what about your world? Are there any colors that are associated with comfort or anything like that on your world?

Comfort in a Storm

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Greetings, Readers! Or Fluffsters, as I guess we are calling you now.

Yes!!! I’ve gotten something to stick!!

Maybe that’s why you’re called “webmaster”?

But I digress.

Since this blog is supposed to be talking about Comfort for each day, and today I’m filling in.

Today’s topic of comfort is both night-time rituals, and storminess. Where I’m from, some magicians have special affinities. One family of wizards in particular has gone down in history: The Storm Mages. I don’t know if they really existed or not, but their story has been preserved in some of the plays we did.

One of the scenes involved a dramatic face off between them and all their enemies! There’s a really tender moment, because the heroes have just had their first child. And just a couple days later, the other wizards gathered to try to fight. And so the family must raise a storm for defenses. As the storm is being raised, the mother sings to the new child the Stormbringer’s Song. It’s really haunting, when sung well!

Here’s a segment of:

The Stormbringer’s Song

Oh lay down my child in the wings of the night
And pay thee no heed to the storm.
Although there are enemies coming to fight
You’ll stay in this bed safe and warm.

The thunder will lull you to sleep, oh my Dear,
For it is designed to protect,
As I have designed to stave off all fear,
For it will all evil deflect.

Oh lay down my child in the wings of the night
And pay thee no heed to the storm.
Although there are enemies coming to fight
You’ll stay in this bed safe and warm.

The rain and the hail will not harm thee, my child,
As long as thou art in this bed.
The water will keep out the things that are wild,
So safe in these walls, rest thy head.

Oh lay down my child in the wings of the night
And pay thee no heed to the storm.
Although there are enemies coming to fight
You’ll stay in this squall safe and warm.

And then, of course, because my family grew up knowing this one, my mother would sing this one to us when a fierce storm was out there. It’s sort of comforting thinking that the storm is necessary for protection, and living with the notion that it’s harmless to you. That fantasy is fairly comforting.

Anyways, Fluffsters, happy Friday! What do you do to gain comfort in a storm?

Clouds Inside Buildings? Why Not?

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Once again, I have found something from your world that actually impresses me.

Really?

Yes! Isn’t it shocking?

Anyways, this is something that seriously makes the actress in me jealous. Really jealous. A person has found a way to make clouds form inside a building.

Really? That’s so cool!

It really is! I’m shocked!

Anyways, readers, Happy Saturday!

Flirting from the Sky

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Just when I think your world can’t get any sillier…

What, did you find some other sort of creature that can melt?

No, I didn’t. Those were cool! Are there any more?

You know, I have no idea.

Oh. Well anyways. As I was saying, one of the American airline companies is trying to hook people up mid flight.

Wait… What?

Virgin America is now allowing people to flirt with other passengers in the air.

Uh… Couldn’t people already do that?

Not so easily, now. You see, this time, they’re allowing people to purchase food and beverages for other passengers. It allows them to view a digital seat map. I mean, I feel really sorry for that poor system!

Wait, what?

You say that a lot…

Anyways. I’m forced to live with the silliness of fluff you provide. But at least I can escape. But those systems? Their entire purpose in life is to work for one of the most pointless things I can think of: Flirting with someone you’ve never seen before in your life, and truly likely never will see again.

But isn’t that the purpose of flirting?

…Your world really does get sillier with time.

Anyways, readers, happy Thursday! It’s almost the weekend; enjoy!