Category Archives: real world

More “food” questions…

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Friday!

Yesterday, I once again had an experience with the dessert section where I currently am. This time, I thought the experience was amusing, moreso than disgusting. It had to do with assorted desserts. Here’s what I saw (arrows added by me. Of course.):

I guess there are only two assorted desserts…

I would normally assume that “assorted desserts” applied to the whole tray, and that you don’t need more specifics, but apparently the folks in charge disagreed. To make matters even more annoying, one of the things I was actually curious about qualified as one of the two “assorted desserts.”

Well, that’s about all I wanted to post about today. Have a great weekend! (May your dessert endeavors be more successful than mine…)

Fuzzy Slippers (2)

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Wednesday! Wow, can you believe it’s Wednesday again already?

Anyways. Today, I’m continuing the series from yesterday, and writing about:

Fuzzy Slippers (part 2)

Slippers with and without “sticky” Soles

Yes, that’s my next set of “two” comparisons. You can either get slippers with high friction stuff on them, or not. The amount of non-friction stuff you get also varies.

All-rubber Soled Slippers.

These have their place. They are not always too objectionable, either. In fact, my main pair of genuine slippers has rubber soles.

There are several advantages to this type of slipper.

1) You don’t fall on wood or tile floors. That, of course, is usually a plus.

…Usually?

Right. Usually. I’m sure there are certain instances when people would want to fall. Gravity checks, for example.

Ok, you’ve got me. What are “gravity checks”? Is that when

Heavens, no! Gravity checks are a public service whereby a person limits muscle control in order to ensure that gravity is still working. At the same time, they also usually end up examining the floor.

You mean they fall down.

That’s a less graceful way to put it, but yes. So, rubber soled slippers make gravity checks a bit harder. But moving on.

2) Sturdy soles allow you to wear your slippers outside. This allows you to use your slippers as props for movies. After all, how are you going to film a movie in Suburbia if you can’t go get your newspaper in your bath robe and slippers?

That’s about it for the advantages of sticky soles that I can think of.

Partially Sticky Soled Slippers

Basically, there are two advantages.

1) fewer accidental gravity checks, and

2) they take less room than the completely sticky-soled slippers. (Try saying that quickly three times in a row!) But it’s true. There are some slippers that have just a little bit of flexible, sticky stuff on the soles. These are still very compact slippers, and take less room than the full-rubber-soled slippers that cannot bend.

Non-Sticky-Soled Slippers

Aren’t these normally referred to as “socks”?

…They’re fuzzier than most socks. So maybe, but it doesn’t matter. They still have advantages. Such as:

1) SLIPPER SLIDING!! If you can stand on a slippery surface somewhere, you can also slide on it. Just take a running start, and… SLIDE! Fluffy slippers like that are the best for sliding.

2) Extra-Super-Hyper-Compact. These are slippers you can take with you anywhere. In fact, you probably should take them with you wherever you go, since they can also serve as packing material! Do you have a book you don’t want getting crushed? Pack your slippers around them! Do you want a pillow? Lean back against a slipper!

WHAT? No. Just no. That’s gross.

Ok, yeah. Maybe you shouldn’t use them as a pillow.

Packing material is still legit though.

So there you go, Fluffsters! I hope you enjoyed the analysis of this dichotomy of fuzzy slippers. Have a great rest of your weak!

Fuzzy Slippers part 1

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Tuesday!

I don’t think there’s been enough fluff on this blog recently-

-I beg to differ-

-so I’m going to add more traditional fluff today. In other words, today is about:

Fuzzy Slippers.

Fuzzy slippers are fantastic. They’re soft, they’re warm, and they’re fluffy. That all combines to make a valid post, don’t you agree? Wait, don’t answer that.

Fuzzy slippers can be categorized in several basic ways. There are several sets of “two types”, and I’m going to go through the first one today.

Slippers that are animal-like, and slippers that are not animal-like.

Slippers that are animal-like. These are your traditional bunny slippers, Bear Paw slippers, or anything else that is reminiscent of an animal.

These are fun, since they give you a sense of nostalgia. You can pretend that you’re back in the days of yore, when people hunted to make clothes, and your shoes might actually have come from real, soft luxurious fur of an animal that would kill you if you don’t turn it into slippers first.

They can also lend courage. Would the monsters in the closet attack a bear? Of course not! So the monsters clearly wouldn’t attack you if you wore bear slippers.

Uh, the monsters in the closet don’t generally attack at all… And what about the rabbit slippers you mentioned?

Bunny slippers are also good. They can serve as decoys. After all, the monsters wouldn’t need to climb into your bed to get to you.

No matter what your style, if you’re looking for protection on cold winter nights, Animal Slippers will not let you down.

But what if you’re looking for something stylish? Something you can wear outside, and use to celebrate the new day as you get your newspaper, and is stylish enough to not get you laughed at by the neighbors? That, my friends, is where the other type of slippers in this category come in.

Non-Animalian Fuzzy Slippers. For those of you who fondly remember your bunny slippers, or other animalish slippers, but need something more stylish, fear not! Solutions exist!

There are some delightful slippers that have no resemblance to animals, but will still protect your feet from the cold. They may not make as decent decoys for the monsters in your closet, but not everyone is cursed with closets linking to the monsters’ home dimension. In such cases, you can wear your stylish non-animal slippers, and still be comfortable.

Further, if your reason for avoiding animal slippers is that you dislike animals, there are solutions for you, too! Even if you have monsters in your room that you need to be protected from, you do not need to resort to animal slippers.

You could get hobbit-feet slippers, which are sure to lead you not only “there” but also back again. (“There” is an adventure, and “back again” implies safety.) You can get car slippers with working headlights, which would protect you from anything you might come up against in the night. You could even get cupcake slippers, which might provide an even better decoy for the Closet Monsters than the bunnies! Monsters’ greatest weaknesses are cupcakes, after all.

I’d never heard that about Monsters before… Do you even have monsterologists on your world?

…Uh… I’ll get back to you on that.

Well, that’s all for right now! I hope that you’ve started to learn a bit about slippers. After all, I personally think that everyone should have at least one pair of slippers.

Have a great day!

What if Lightsabers were real?

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Greetings, Fluffsters! I wish you all a joyous Saturday.

The online phenomenon you call “news” has been informing me that something called a “lightsaber” might now be a possibility. The article was moderately interesting, and seemed like it might be useful. You should consider reading it.

WHAT? Lightsabers might become a reality? Oh that is so cool!

If you say so…

This invention does bring up some interesting questions, though, if they are as fully capable as the lightsabers of the Star Wars franchise.

What would happen if lightsabers were real?

1) Craft saw companies would go out of business. A sword that can cleanly cut through metal can definitely cut through a piece of wood no problem. It would also have a much nicer finished edge than the metal cut.

2) Food could be more sanitarily made. I’m looking at you, people who use their knives to cut and eat food.

3) More limbs would be missing. Habits die hard, and I’m guessing a few folks would try to eat off the blade of the “knife” they use, never mind that the blade itself can cleanly remove your tongue. And face.

4) Pocket Lightsabers, anyone? You have to admit, that would be pretty cool. Useful, too. It would be similar to a pocket knife, but more easily transportable.

5) TSA would increase even more. Soon they’d need to do some sort of search to ensure that you aren’t taking a mini lightsaber on board the plane.

There are also some questions this raises, though. In the Star Wars universe, the guns are primarily light based. We also have proof that the lightsabers are able to block and reflect the substance of light. What would a lightsaber do to a metal bullet, though? Does it instantly melt, and therefore provide extra casing for the lightsaber? Does the metal vaporize? Would anyone using an extra wide lightsaber be protected from machine gun bullets?

All of these things might be worth considering.

I hope you have a good weekend, Fluffsters!

Rainbows’ Minions: Music

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Fluffsters, we’ve got a problem.

Don’t tell me. This has something to do with your Rainbow Conspiracy…

What gave it away?

Uh, the title?

Oh. Right. Well, yes in fact! This does have to do with the rainbows.

More to the point, it has to do with the Rainbows’ hired minions: –

-Music?

You’re good!

…That’s also in the title.

Oh. Right. But yes. I have recently discovered that Rainbows probably use various pieces of music as minions. Not all music, but some pieces.

I mean, think about it. I’ve already written about how music can pop into your head at any time, and refuses to leave. I’ve referred to those as ear bugs.

Now think further about this: Some music consistently enters your mind when you see certain things or hear certain words. At least, it does for me.

Here’s an example: There’s a campfire ditty I learned. The lyrics are simple: “I see the moon//the moon sees me// the moon sees the one// I want to see. //God bless the moon// and God bless me,// and God bless the one// I want to see.” And now, whenever anyone says “I see the moon”, that little piece of music pops into my head. It’s as though it’s following me around, waiting for the opportunity to come out and demonstrate its existence. Just like rainbows.

My conclusion? Rainbows have enlisted various catchy tunes to serve as their minions. The songs receive training from the rainbows. In return, they too stalk people, always there but never observed until the opportune moment. Then they strike.

Next: People sometimes are more annoyed with songs than with rainbows, which just furthers my conclusion.

How does that follow?

Simple. You see, this provides a brilliant contrast for the rainbows.

People might realize that things popping out at them that are just waiting to be discovered are a bad thing, especially when it’s music that’s annoying and gets stuck in your head. Then, just when the poor victims feel that all hope is lost, they realize that there is something else following them that comes unannounced: Rainbows. Since people are predisposed to go “Ooh, shiny!”-

Oh, you admit that?

Yes. Now let me finish my point.

Since people are inclined to go “ooh, sparkly!” they come to the conclusion that there are two types of hidden phenomena: Music (which is creepy), and rainbows (which are the protectors of human kind.) Little do they know that actually music is just the rainbow’s minion, designed to put rainbows in a better light.

So to speak.

What?

Oh, I did make a pun there, didn’t I?

Also, I theorize that rainbows also use music to slowly drive everyone insane so that they can eventually take over the world more easily. But the primary purpose is for publicity and HR.

…Ah. I see.

So as I said, Fluffsters, we have a problem. Your task is to figure out what music you think is working for the Rainbows. Maybe, together, we can solve this problem ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Anywho, happy Thursday!

Funny Phone Phenomenon

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Wednesday!

So, last night an amusing incident happened. I’m in the process of trying to learn econometrics.

…How amusing. Words cannot express how hilarious that is.

That wasn’t the amusing part!

Are you sure? I didn’t even know you knew what econometrics is!

Ha ha. Very funny. I know perfectly well that econometrics is advanced statistics for economics. After all, I am studying it.

But that’s beside the point. The funny part, you see, happened when I tried to organize a group meeting to work on it together. I was using my phone, you see, which has a feature that tries to guess what your next word is going to be. So I typed in econometrics, and the word it suggested follow? “Woes.” I’m fairly sure I’ve never used the word econometrics on my phone before. I’m also fairly sure it’s never been followed by the word “woes.” I found it amusing.

But how about you, Fluffsters? Any amusing phone incidents? Or anything at all?

Pudding Miles

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Hello, Fluffsters!

I am really happy right now.

Why? Did you find another abysmal music video that you-don’t-really-think-is-offensive-despite-your-claims?

Not recently, no.

Actually, I’m happy about something I’d been unaware of that happened about 13 years ago.

Apparently, some guy found a loophole in a airline mile competition, and so got over a million airline miles… by buying pudding.

Stories like that make me happy. With a little ingenuity, and a lot of hard work, a guy was able to receive a lot. Further, it apparently didn’t actually cause many problems to the companies. All three parties (the airlines, the food company, and the person who bought the food) all ended up benefiting. Granted, it wasn’t the expected result for the company. But even so, they ended up with a lot of publicity because of this!

…you people.

What?

Just… never mind.

… Okay! Well, happy Tuesday, folks! I hope you have a great one.

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

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Once again… what is up with your world?

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Really?

Uh, no idea. I hadn’t heard of it. It looks like a spoof of religion, though… Just judging from their definite admission of being legitimate. The church doth protest too much, methinks. Or something like that.

And a flying spaghetti monster? I’m with you Fluffy… That’s just absurd.

Thank you! I hope you’re right…

BRRRAAAAIIINSSSS!

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Yesterday, I had a fun opportunity. I got to serve a creepy brain jello!

What’s that you’re saying? “It’s just jello, how can it possibly be creepy?”

I’m glad you asked.

Actually, they didn’t…

Oh, come on. I can pretend, can’t I?

As I was saying, I’m glad you asked. It can be creepy… like THIS!!

creepy gray brain jello with gummy worms sticking out

Creepy, right?

Isn’t that nasty looking?

So… is this the next “mold is good” thing with you?

Technically, yes, since I do have a jello mold to thank for this.

But as I was saying, isn’t that creepy? I love making this thing. The jello itself is peach flavored. The gummy worms are sour, which gave the jello a bit of a slightly interesting flavor. There’s also (fat free) evaporated milk in it, which is what makes it semi-opaque. It also slightly changes the consistency to be a bit more… solid. The stuff really feels about like what you’d expect chilled brain consistency to be.

People’s reactions to it are absolutely priceless. Some will stare at it in horror. Others will take the gummy worms sticking out of the jello, and therefore eat the gray stuff that comes with it. And a few brave souls will take large quantities of it and delight in eating “brains.”

Everybody who tries it likes the flavor. (After all, it’s jello. Peach jello. It’s not actually that weird.) At the same time, however, most people think it a bit… disgusting. Especially if they think about the fact that it’s “brains” they’re eating. I love having the opportunity to make and serve it.

And I think I really do not want to know what constitutes a good time to make a dessert that looks like a human organ. A worm infested human organ.

Ok, fine. Spoilsport.

Happy Saturday, though! I hope you’re having a great weekend!

Fuzzy Slippers (part 2)

Slippers with and without “sticky” Soles

All-rubber Soled Slippers.

Partially Sticky Soled Slippers

Non-Sticky-Soled Slippers

Fuzzy Slippers.

Slippers that are animal-like, and slippers that are not animal-like.

What would happen if lightsabers were real?

Some ways to tell that you need coffee.