Tag Archives: real world

Instant Fluff

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Hello, Fluffsters!

First, just a quicky reminder: I’ll be switching out products in the New and Now part of my cafepress store sometime between today and tomorrow night. (I’m not quite sure which; it’ll depend on evening activities and stuffs.) So if you want to get any “I’m not crazy; you’re just ordinary!” merchandise, now’s the time to do it!

But I digress.

Today’s topic is…

“Instant” Fluff.

Instant fluff, as I’m defining it, is fluff that you can get or make very quickly. As usual, there are multiple ways to do this.

1) Shred a napkin. Napkins are condensed fluff. Shredding mixes air in. So, voila! Instant fluff.

2) Buy marshmallow fluff. But that’s just cheating.

3) Tangle some yarn. If you mix it together, you basically get a ball of fluff. And who doesn’t like a ball of fluff? (Besides crafters, who are trying to use the yarn you’ve just tangled?)

4) Shave a bichon frise or poodle. As a reminder, those are two types of very fluffy dogs. If you shave them, the fluff comes off. So there you go, a whole lot of fluff, ready for your fluffification!

5) Read this blog. But of course, you’re already reading it. So you were probably looking for some other way to add fluff to your life. But that’s probably why I put this as the last on the list. It’s really almost not worth mentioning, is it?

So there you go! Five ways to “instantly” add fluff to your life. What other ways do you think you could add fluff?

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

…What?

It’s June 13, right? That means that it’s Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! It’s also national juggling day, but I’m going to ignore that. (Although really, who thought of putting those two on the same day? I can’t tell whether that’s genius, or cruel.)

I knew about the holidays. I’m just surprised that you found it before I could write the post! You seemed fairly oblivious to other holidays…

Yeah, well, I didn’t know about it before last night. You see, I was sortof fishing for a post subject. And this looked like it would work!

So. Here’s the post!

How to Celebrate Kitchen Klutzes of America Day

Ok. So I’m sortof figuring this out as I go. I was previously unaware of such a holiday, and so I’ve never celebrated it before. So I’m going to propose ideas for celebrating it, and I want you, fluffsters, to tell me what you think!

From my perspective, there are two different broad ways to celebrate this holiday.

First, if you’re a klutz, take this as a day in celebration of yourself. Second, if you’re not clumsy, show some appreciation for the Kitchen Klutzes.

If you go with the second option, here are a few ideas!

Idea 1: Throw pots, pans, and plates on the ground and against some walls. Nothing says “Kitchen Klutz” like a big huge mess, right? And this way you get to make loud, obnoxious noises! Best of all worlds, right?

Idea 2: Spill every drink you get the first time. So you can get a refill and try not to spill. But the first set of every drink you get, spill it all over!

Idea 3: Make spaghetti for dinner. And maybe French Fries with ketchup and mustard. And chili. And basically anything that stains. And be sure to spill it on yourself. Show solidarity with other Kitchen Klutzes, and understand what they go through on a daily basis!

And now, for celebrating your life as a kitchen klutz.

Idea 1: Cook, and don’t worry about spills! This is your day, after all! If you spill, you’re celebrating!

Idea 2: Make someone else do your cooking. What better way to celebrate being a kitchen klutz than by not making a mess?

Idea 3: Go out for all your meals. Alright, so this is more of “Idea 2b”. But yes. Go out for ALL THE MEALS! You’re a bit clumsy, so take the day off! Don’t be clumsy in the kitchen for an entire day… by avoiding the kitchen! And nobody will think worse of you for it, because it’s your day.

So, Fluffsters, no matter which category is yours, I hope you celebrate “Kitchen Klutzes of America Day” with style.

Fluffy’s Thoughts on Diamond Rings

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Hello, Fluffsters!

I have recently come across a tradition in your world which I find interesting: Gifting a future bride a diamond to celebrate the occasion.

Now, according to this article, the reasoning behind buying a diamond engagement ring is all a hoax or a sham or something like that. The article claims that it was one jewelry firm that sold the idea of a diamond ring being all-important, and single-handedly created the diamond engagement ring business in America. (I have no clue if that’s true or not.)

If it is true, that is amazing. One company? Revolutionizing how an entire country views an engagement? Wow. That takes talent.

If I were in your world, and if I were engaged, I would probably want a diamond ring, just because of that. Especially if the young man had read the article. You see, the diamond ring is now a symbol. A symbol of multiple things. In America, in common knowledge, it is a symbol of love. The future husband loves the girl enough to sacrifice a large portion of his income for her, to show his commitment. The diamond itself will last for essentially forever, thus further symbolizing the love between the two. The diamond is also the hardest substance known to man, and nearly impossible to break. The marriage should be like that.

And the extra dimensions the article added?

1) Overcoming hardship. The company seemed to doing really badly. And yet they were able to turn the hard times around, and make it through.

2) Change is possible. The diamond. The most inflexible material in the world. And it changed an entire country. One company, according to the article, changed the country. If a company can do that, couldn’t a husband and wife learn to adapt? And together, could they not impact their community in a dramatic fashion? Change is possible, and the diamond ring symbolizes that. I mean, when it comes down to it, the diamond itself is a changed form of carbon. But this article? It just adds a whole new dimension!

So, Mr. Rohin Dahr? I’m sorry! Your article just sold me on diamonds even more. Try harder next time?

Anyways, Fluffsters, have a great day!

Competitive texting, anyone?

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Hello, Fluffsters! I’m back! Sorry about storming out yesterday…

That’s ok. I did a better job than you would have.

Oh shush. It was my idea. So I get a lot of the credit. But that’s beside the point.

Ideas, actually, are my point. Because I’ve had… an idea.

That sounds really ominous.

Oh, it’s not that bad! It might cause a few casualties, but it’s not that bad.

A few casualties aren’t bad?

It really depends. You see, it might be really fun! After all, a number of people die from horseback riding. And yet nobody says that horseback riding is a bad thing.

But really, who came up with that anyways? “Hey, here’s a big animal that could crush me if it kicks me. Let’s jump on its back! And hope it doesn’t throw us off!”

But anywho. Here’s my idea:

Competitive Texting.

…what?

Yes. Texting. It’s something you can do with a handheld device called a cellph-

Yes. I know what texting is. How the brassicae fati do you plan on making it competitive?

I’m glad you asked!

Woops.

So here’s how it works:

So first, you’ll need to find a large plot of land. Any surface would work. Ooh, and you could have multiple types, and difficulties, and, oh. Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?

Yeah. You totally lost me.

Oh. Sorry.

But as I was saying. Large plot of land. Right. And then you can have an obstacle course set up there! And you could have multiple sets of obstacle courses! One, for example, would be for walkers. Another could be for driving.

So here would be how you could do it, once you’ve set up the obstacle course. You would have a competition for texters.

Competition

The competition would be judged on multiple criteria:

1) Speed of completing the course. Or getting from point A to point B. You know, typical competition stuff.

2) How many words per minute are sent via text. After all, faster texters should definitely be rewarded.

3) Quality of text message. You want to make sure that the texts aren’t just “I I I I I” over and over again, or something equally ridiculous. That would be cheating! So maybe competitors would need to pass the Turing Test while competing? That might work. This should probably take precedence over wpm, actually.

Ooh, and the obstacles could get progressively harder! Like, first it would just be a few people you’d need to get around. (For the walking course, of course.) Then there could be things like fire hydrants, tables with awkward legs that stick out, and maybe uneven curbs. And for the extreme section, you could maybe get walls that people would need to either go around or jump over! This could be FUN!

Webmaster, you’re slightly scary. I just want you to know that.

…

But yeah! I really think this has potential. I mean, it’s one of the things that people in the Millennial Generation are really good at, right? And according to some politicians these days, we really need to get more people involved in being active. So this would achieve that goal.

So what do you think, Fluffsters? New Extreme Sport?

What are your ideas for an extreme sport? Or how would you improve this one? Leave a comment below with your ideas!

What to do with the Random Pair of Socks in your Purse.

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Sunday!

Today, I’m going to be talking to you about:

What to do with the random pair of socks you find in your purse.

Ok. There’s got to be a story behind that one.

…What? Not everyone keeps a pair of socks in their purse?

Clearly not, by merit of the fact that the socks are “randomly” there.

It wouldn’t be random if they’re usually there.

Oh. Good point. Unless the socks themselves were randomly colored…?

No. So, what’s with the pair of socks in your purse?

Actually, I’m not entirely sure why I put them there this time.

This time?!

Yeah! I don’t know why they’re there this time. I don’t even remember putting them there!

Just to clarify… This is all hypothetical, isn’t it?

You don’t just randomly keep socks in your purse?

…

Anyways, here are some things you can do wi-

You’re serious?

Brassicae, why me? WHY?!

As I was saying, here are some things to do with your pair of socks!

5) Brainstorm how they got there. Did they come from the gap in the space-time continuum, and avoid getting eaten by the interdimensional rabid penguins of doom? Did they come from the black hole found in all dryers that suck away miscellaneous socks? Where? (If you figure out, do let me know?)

4) Sock puppets! Instant entertainment! Find other random junk to make faces, put on your hands, and voila! Instant sock puppet-age!

3) See how long it takes for them to start molding in your purse. Of course, that would probably end up smelling bad. And probably ruin the inside of your purse. But it is something you can do with socks!

What is it with you and mold?

2) Wear them. Assuming they aren’t part of your mold collection, of course. Because that would just be gross otherwise.

1) Write a blog post about them. And then talk about things you can do with them.

…

You were serious.

Yup! I found a random pair of socks in my purse, and I’m not sure how they got here this time. So, fluffsters, any recommendations? Or thoughts on how they got there?

And happy Sunday! I hope you have a wonderful week!

Make a Room Messy in 7 Easy Steps

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Friday! (Weekend, yes!)

First of all, I just wanted to remind you quickly that today’s the last day to get a “You Look Comfortable. Let me change that” with a penguin on it merchandise at the current price. I’ll be adding something new to the New and Now section tomorrow, and moving those to the normal priced part of the store. So you should check it out!

Second, today’s post!

I’ve been thinking. There are a few things that I am really good at-

Because that’s not arrogant…

-and I’m going to give instructions for how to do one of those things. Specifically

How to make a room messy in 7 easy steps.

…what?

Yup! One of my skills is making things messy. It comes naturally to me, and I’m good at it.

1) Pick a room. This is an important step. Don’t skimp on this step. If this is your first time messy-ing a room, go with a smaller room. You probably want only one clutter-y surface.

2) Measure the open space. You don’t have to actually measure with a measuring tape or anything like that. Measuring it by eye also works.

3) Guesstimate how many items you’ll need.

4) Add 4. That’s how many items you’ll probably end up using.

5) Start doing something that requires *something*. This could be reading, it could be using your computer, or anything. The easiest is to do a craft.

6) Do not put your supplies away. Instead, place it tastefully, even artfully, on your open surface.

7) Repeat steps 1-6. When you have what looks like enough items to qualify as a “mess”, repeat once more. Just for good measure.

And that, fluffsters, is one method to make a room messy. Have fun!

Inspiration in Myth

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Blast it, Fluffy, I spent all day yesterday, and I couldn’t find what you changed! WHAT DID YOU CHANGE?

Now, Webmaster, be reasonable. Did I ever actually say that I changed anything?

You mean y-you, why I ought to-

Yeah. No. That was just to get you out of the way. And careful, in front of the Fluffsters!

Oh my- This is a post?

Uh, hi Fluffsters! How are you doing today? Happy Wednesday!

As you can tell, I’m a bit annoyed at Fluffy for lying to me-

I never actuall-

-but that’s beside the point.

Today, I’m going to show you the first parts of a new project that I’m working on.

Clay Hippocampus (from Greek Mythology)

Hippocampi were a sort of fish-like horse. Think head and body of a horse, except only with arms, and it also has a tail. And gills/fins.

Not dissimilar to this:

Hippocampus-like swimming creature

So when I finally had time (and resources) to try to create a polymer clay statuette, I decided to go with this type of creature.

First, I built a wire frame. I then wrapped it (and shaped it) with aluminum foil. I put masking tape around that, to make sure that if I needed to remove the clay for some reason, the foil wouldn’t come with the clay…

wire, tinfoil, and masking-tape hippocampus

Framework for Hippocampus. My apologies about sideways-ness…

I then put the base-clay on, and added details.

base coat of clay and details on the Hippocampus: Front

base coat of clay and details on the Hippocampus: side view. Like the mane?

Finally, I baked it.

Baked Hippocampus statuette

Later today, I hope to add paint. I’m intending to use a very dark blue, and maybe some gold. I’m thinking about putting a metallic white coat over the entire thing. Thoughts on the metallic?

Happy Wednesday! You’re almost half-way done with the week!

June 2

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Dear Fluffsters,

Did you know that on June 2, it rained? It also (probably) snowed. And maybe hailed, and thunderstormed, and was the sunniest, most disgusting day of the year so far. Probably not in the same place, though. Maybe not even in the same year.

But I digress.

June 2. 6/2 There’s got to be something specific about June 2… Fluffy? Any thoughts?

6/2, you say? Well, 6/2 = 3. No matter what base of mathematics you’re working in. After all, you need to get into a second digit to really play with bases. But I’m not sure how that relates to the date.

Ooh, I do! That means-

-Oh shoot. I shouldn’t have said that… Here we go.

-That that 6/2 = 3. Always. So June 2 equals 3. Which means that either June 2 is the third day of the year, the third day of the week, the third week of the month, or can simply be represented as the number “3”.

What? No! Ok. So what about September 3? Or December 4? Or even March 1? Those are 9/3=3, 12/4=3, and 3/1=3.

You know, you’re right. I hadn’t thought about that.

That must mean- that means-

I GOT IT!

They’re all THE SAME DAY!

I’m going to need to start recording things. Because if March 1 = June 2 = September 3 = December 4, that could have catastrophic influences!

…That haven’t happened yet? How do you figure?

…I’m working on that.

Anywho, happy Sunday! I hope you have a great week.

You look comfortable. Let me change that.

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Hello, Fluffsters.

I can’t tell you how glad I am that the challenge thing is over!

Now I expect to do a few more of the posts, again. And maybe we’ll actually go back to decent, pure fluff content, not all of the “what is comfortable” stuff.

On a related note, after all of those “comfort” posts of the month, I think you look comfortable. Let me change that. Here’s a picture of a deranged penguin.

I’m not sure this penguin’s entirely sane…

And I just realized, that might make a good t-shirt! Give me a moment… And another… and… HERE WE GO!

For a limited time, t-shirts, and other miscellaneous items with that design, are on sale in my CafePress shop. (Found in the “New and Now” section.)

So, thoughts: Should I have one with just the penguin? How about just “You look comfortable. Let me change that.”? Should I try to do an owl instead?

Comments are welcome and appreciated!

Happy Saturday, Fluffsters!

Boring Things I’m Calling Comfortable (3/6): T-Shirts

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Tuesday! I hope you had a great Memorial Day yesterday. (If any veterans or troops are reading this, thank you for your service! I greatly appreciate it.)

As you may recall from yesterday’s post, I’m turning this week into a series on boring things that I’m calling comfortable for the sake of the “comfort” challenge.

So, remind me why you signed up for it?

Because I thought it would be a good idea… I didn’t realize how boring it would get. Or that my target audience is so totally different from the usual readers of those sorts of things!

…So why are you still doing this?

Well, I’m not going to stop with 4 days to go! Anyways, I have a few ideas that will work for these posts.

Ok. You’re the Webmaster.

Thank you.

Anyways. Today’s topic is

T-Shirts

T-shirts are comfortable for multiple reasons.

1) it’s good to wear clothing. It can be cold outside. T-shirts help protect your skin from weather. Going without a shirt would just be awkward, too.

2) T-shirts can be loose, and nobody cares. It’s a t-shirt. The only thing people care about with t-shirts is whether it says something cute or is a good color. Lime green, for example, is seldom a good color for a t-shirt. Just FYI.

3) They can be light-weight or heavy. If you get a light weight t-shirt, it can be a much cooler garment than other types of shirts. If you get a heavier one, it can be warmer than others.

4) No buttons. Self explanatory.

And this topic was a nice segue into another topic: I have opened a CafePress store! Right now, everything in it is on sale. Prices on most of those items will be going up a bit on Saturday.

But here’s where you come in: I want feedback. What sorts of things do you want to see in my store? More quotes? More images? Do you have a quote you want me to turn into a t-shirt? A favorite blog post you want me to turn into purchasable format? I want your opinions, Fluffsters!

Leave your comments below, and I’ll read ’em! Or if you’d rather contact me privately, you can reach me at Webmaster [at] totalfluff.com. (No spaces, of course. 😉 )

I look forward to hearing from you, Fluffsters! And again, Happy Tuesday.