Category Archives: Webmaster

How to: Write July 23’s Fluff Post

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Gee, not thinking of any particular ideas for your Fluff Posts, Webmaster?

…Maybe.

But just tonight’s. Until inspiration hit. (Spoiler alert.) Because, you see, I realized what I could write abou- Oops. more spoilers. Sorry.

I should probably just start the post.

If it even qualifies as a post…

Hey! Of course it does! But that’s another digression. So, without further ado:

Instructions for writing the fluff post for July 23, 2013

1) Look at the clock. Realize that it’s only 9:00pm on the 22nd. (12:00am on the 23rd Fluff Time.) You’ve got plenty of time to start spinning some yarn/thread/stuff before you need to start writing a fluff post! It’s a whole nine hours before it needs to be up and ready!

2) Lose track of time while wasting time. Look up at the clock again at about 11:00pm. Realize you’ve still got a bit of time before you were planning on going to bed.

3) Make some tea, and start thinking about the Fluff Topic. I would go with coffee, but that takes work. These days, for writing stuff, I’m going with Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. (I’ve always wanted to say that! Yay!)

You and your life goals…

Huh, yeah! I have just achieved a life goal! That’s fun!

But back to the list.

3b) “brainstorm”. Otherwise known as look around the internet, wander your current location aimlessly, and maybe read a book. All to get “inspired”, of course.

By this time, it’s a bit after midnight. You meant to go to bed about 15 minutes ago. Woops. Time to start thinking in earnest…

4) Focus. Fabric. Fabric is a good option- it’s fluffy, right?. Go to fabric.com to drool over all the fabrics available online that you can’t afford yet. Well, that you might be able to afford, but realize that you just bought about 5-10 yards of fabric recently that you haven’t started to use yet, and realize that you really shouldn’t get any more fabric. Even if it’s penguin printed fabric. More to the point, penguin printed fabric that would match your penguin socks perfectly.

I wonder if I could justify making a skirt out of this? Do I have any shirts that would work? Is it bad form to use flannels like that for adult(ish) apparel! Can I justify buying any of the fabric? Can I even afford how much it would take? ($13 a yard? No thanks!)

And I’m digressing again.

4b) Realize you can’t use fabric.com exclusively for your fluff post. Especially if you haven’t actually ordered anything from there (which I personally haven’t.) Besides, there’ve been enough posts on this blog about other websites already.

5) Stare at your messy counters. Realize that you’ve already written a post about how to messify any surface in just a few simple steps… there goes that stroke of inspiration.

6) Realize that you just passed your 175th blog post, so can’t even write about that. (Yay Fluff, though! Over 175 posts, and almost 6 months of daily blogging! Woohoo!)

7) Realize that what doesn’t kill you gives you stories. (Ooh, I should make a cafepress design out of that! I’ll let you know if I do.)

8) Enter Inspiration: Decide to write about writing a fluff post. The day is saved! And it’s only 12:30 am- still only about a half hour after “the latest I’m going to bed tonight, period.” (Hah!)

9) Get sidetracked by a conversation with Fluffy about what this post is going to be about. And give spoilers. You can’t forget the spoilers.

10) Start writing. Get up to point ten (Hey, look at that!) and wonder whether you should include pictures in your post.

11) Decide yes, and then decide to ignore that decision. And the sudden itch in your fingers to pick up a pen and try to figure out how to illustrate this post.

12) Realize that it’s almost 1:00am, and that you can always update the post later.

13) finish the post, have the final conversation with Fluffy (if it happens), double check everything, realize that you’re linking to this post in this post, yadda yadda, schedule for the post to go up at 9:00am on July 23rd, decide that you’ve gotten too little sleep and should therefore go to bed, follow through on that decision, and get ready for bed. And hopefully end up actually getting some sleep. (This hasn’t happened yet as I’m writing. It will hopefully have happened by the time you’re reading. Because time is weird like that, and so are blogs and stuff.)

So there you go, Fluffsters! That’s how to write today’s post in 13 circuitous steps. Happy Tuesday!

Wait, what about the final conversation with me? It didn’t happen!

You mean the one we’re having now?

…Oh. Yes.

I think it sort of slipped my mind.

Anyways, as I was saying, happy Tuesday! I hope you have a fantastic week!

bonus: ~~14)~~ Waffles) Realize that somewhere in there you took a screencap of how this post is the 1337-est post yet. Insert that picture, and an ambiguous timeframe. Is this supposed to have happened before or after I go to bed?

The Leetest post yet!

blue) Change what had been 14 above to waffles. Ambiguous times in lists and instructions are even more confusing when you have numbered lists. So ignore the numbers, and change it to something nonsensical. Return to the rest of 14 as usual.

So, once again: Happy Tuesday!

**update** Disclaimer: Results may vary, based on word choice. Simply following these directions does not guarantee that an identical post might easily be written.

Who thought of: Aloe?

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

Today, I’m going to go a bit more contemplative, and examine one of the big questions in life.

Wow! You’re actually going against the grain of no content for TotalFluff?

No more so than usual. And significantly less so than many of your posts.

So here it goes. My question is:

Who on Earth even discovered the use of Aloe?

I mean, think about it. It’s a plant, where the main benefit comes from the inside of a leaf. It’s a weird looking plant, too. Sort of like a waxy fern. (Minus the leaves.) The inside of the leaves is what is useful, as I already said, but it tastes absolutely nasty. (Judging from the times I’ve accidentally not washed my hands thoroughly enough between putting aloe on my skin and eating an apple.)

According to some websites, some animals do eat aloe. But one bite with the aloe flavor, and any person should have preferred starvation to consuming any of that nastiness. In my opinion. Even if not, that still doesn’t answer the question. Who decided it was a good idea to smear the inside of plant-leaves on our skin? It doesn’t even smell nice!

My current hypothesis is that aloes are actually a space-plant, brought over by the aliens currently hiding in Area 51. Clearly they would have told ancient humans how to use the plant properly, and this is just further proof that rainbows are conspiring against us with the governments of the world to take away all the cookies. But what do you think, Fluffsters? How do you think we discovered the proper use of aloe?

Just when I think things are getting normal… If you don’t want to answer the Webmaster’s question, here’s a different one to answer: Why do you think the Webmaster always has to create new conspiracy theories?

Spinning Yarns!

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So, I’m ridiculously happy. I got my drop spindle today!

As in for spinning thread and yarn?

…yes? What other kind of drop spindle do you know of?

I don’t, which is why I was clarifying.

Huh?

I hoped there would be some logical explanation for why you’re happy.

Because I’ll be able to start trying to spin yarn.

Oh, right. It’s a bit less common on your world to do that, isn’t it?

I don’t know. It’s certainly not overly common.

If I had to spin in my new home, I’d be jealous of that. As it is, however, I’m not. I needed to spin back on my world, but I don’t here.

I guess the novelty of it does count for a lot.

But anyways, I made a very bad, very short length of yarn tonight! And I’m very happy. After all, I’ll only be able to improve, right?

Very lumpy uneven first spun thread/yarn

My first spun yarn/thread/thing! I can only get better, right?

Well, I don’t think you can get any worse.

…Uh, yeah. Well, it was my first one. And I’m using a video tutorial. So yeah, it’s bad. But I’m still very happy with it!

I have a hope of being able to crochet my own hat from hand-spun yarn one of these days. Preferably soon. But more likely, before I die. You know, set your goals low, and then you can meet them!

That’s one way of looking at it, I suppose.

Yup! Anyways, Happy Sunday, Fluffsters! I hope you have an excellent week.

Cuddly Critters

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I’ve mentioned I have small dogs, right?

Yes. Repeatedly.

Good. Well, given that they’re the fluffiest thing I have (and that includes my various skeins of furry yarn!) so they should be mentioned fairly regularly on this blog.

Anyways. I was thinking about how interesting small fuzzy animals are.

What’s so interesting about them? It’s not as though they talk to you or anything.

Well, that in part depends upon how you define “talk”. With my younger dog, for example, she will definitely try to communicate with you. Especially if you try woofing or howling at her. It’s actually really cute! Most of the time.

But that isn’t even what I was thinking about. I was rather thinking about how the whole system works. A favorite webcomic of mine, Doghouse Diaries, sums it up perfectly. We take care of our pets, hypothetically, in return for… what?

My answer? One of the sweetest little things that can’t actually talk. (Unless you have a parrot. Or another type of mimicking bird.)

I mean, just think about it. I’m using my dog as an example, but you can use almost any other type of mammalian pet. And maybe birds, but that varies. (Fish and amphibians, alas, don’t quite fit the bill.)

We take care of the dogs. We give them food, water, toys, and shelter. (Not necessarily in that order.) And in return we get companionship. And hopefully loyalty, but that can vary by pet. I understand that most cats are trying to kill you, after all. And my older dog is quite persnickety- he isn’t overly loyal to most people. Just my Dad.

But my younger dog, on the other hand? She’s one of the sweetest things. She likes to cuddle, and she stares at me, and others, in an adoring, trusting way.

She wasn’t always like that. We got her as a rescue. It took her at least a few months to really develop comfort. She would freak out at some of the most trivial things. (For example, we live in a neighborhood that does an annual Christmas light-up event. One of the streets had carousel horse cutouts as a street decoration. The little dog wouldn’t go near those things.) She also never flopped onto her back when she was a lot younger.

These days? She is incredibly comfortable. She actually comes when called (mostly) and flops onto her back, legs sticking up in the air. And she likes to be held.

That’s another odd thing. Why is it that holding a fluffy creature is so enjoyable? Dogs. They love to be petted. And we like petting them. It’s a perfect win-win situation. But why is that? I personally don’t know, but I love it. I can pet my 8-year-old puppy, and she and I both love it. It’s marvelous, isn’t it?

Well, I’ve been rambling a fair bit. I’m actually a bit surprised Fluffy hasn’t interrupted me…

That’s because you’re actually talking about reasonable fluff. I had a fluffy pet too, remember. So what you were saying I actually agree with.

Oh. Um, thanks!

Don’t get used to it.

Don’t worry, I won’t.

But anyways, happy Saturday! I hope you have a great weekend!

Peafowl!

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I love where I live. The city wildlife is amazing.

City… wildlife. Can you explain this, possibly?

Sure! Alright, so I don’t particularly like the skunks, miscellaneous coyotes, opossums, or raccoons. But there are some really cute kitties-

Cats. How wild.

I wasn’t finished! There are some kitties. But we especially have some interesting wild birds. We occasionally get the rare owl, hawk or other raptors. And sparrows. But many places get those.

No, where I am right now, we get Peafowl. Wild peafowl

…Ah.

Yeah! I even got a few photos of some of them today. They were just meandering around the street, saying “neener neener.” So I decided to boost their egos by photographing them.

Peacock and family. Very pretty and cute.

Pretty Peacock! And look at those chicks!

Cute Peafowl family

Aren’t they pretty? And that’s a significantly less rare sight than seagulls where I went to college.

Let me guess. There’s a story behind that one, too.

Not much of one. Basically, I went to school at a college that was very in-state. Quite land-locked. And one day a miscellaneous seagull spontaneously generated.

A seagull that is highly out of place in a land-locked campus

The white speck is a seagull. It must have spontaneously generated.

So, how about you, Fluffsters? Any favorite city-wildlife? (Happy Friday, by the way!)

Procrastination Device: TV Tropes Again

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Thursday! Can you believe it’s almost the weekend again? Where does the time go?

Judging from the title, I’m guessing to procrastination devices.

…You’re good.

Yes, today is once again

A spotlight on TV Tropes.

tvtropes.org, as I think I mentioned previously, is a fantastic time-wasting website. I have definitely spent more time than I would care to admit…

Last night I got pulled in examining “genre awareness.” An excellent example of this would be what tvtropes refers to as “Genre Savviness.” This happens when people are aware of similar situations, and act according to what they remember.

So, if we were characters and having this conversation, would that be an example of genre savvy?

No. That would probably be more along the lines of “leaning on the fourth wall.” If we were actually characters, of course.

Of course.

But as I was saying. There are way too many ways to procrastinate and waste time on that website. You see, each individual article links to probably at least a half-dozen other interesting articles. They are usually quite amusing, too.

So, if you’re bored at all this summer, I highly recommend visiting tvtropes.org. It’s a fun place! (Heads up, it has a few PG+ areas. Just be aware.)

Five Things I’ve Said that my Parents Never Expected

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In honor of my parents 31st anniversary (congratulations, Mom & Dad!) I’m sharing

Five things I’ve honestly said that my parents probably never expected to hear me say.

1) I want to take a nap. When I was a lot younger, I was one of those types of little ones. I despised nap-time. I saw no use for it, I “wasn’t tired”, and so I hated taking a nap. Now, I can’t get enough of them. I think I blame high school, and whatever social conventions have determined that regularly getting up before 10:00am is necessary.

2) Can you teach me to cook? I’m a bit surprised by this one, but this was the first thing that came to Mom’s mind when I asked her what something was that she never expected me to say. I guess that when I was a lot younger I had no interest in learning how to cook. It’s amazing what looking at allrecipes– especially the dessert, pretzel, and bread sections – will do to you! It’s almost worth the cleanup, even!

3) I want/need to take a shower/bath. I got over my extreme protestations about personal hygiene before I got to be too old. It’s still a bit of a nuisance to interrupt whatever you’re doing to go take a shower, but at least I no longer (exactly) protest. I fully realize that it is absolutely, 100% worthwhile to interrupt stuff to take a shower or bath, especially when needed.

4) Is there enough broccoli for me to have more? This especially happens when Mom makes her Broccoli Almondine recipe. It’s amazing. It’s broccoli, but it tastes good. I think Mom & Dad practically despaired of my ever liking broccoli. I liked brussel sprouts, but not that green-tree.

5) I want to study my textbook during the summer, to get a head-start on the school year! Yes, alas. College got a hold of me. I used to have this irrational worry about being “bored” in class because it would be “too easy.” My math classes broke me of that worry. Especially for classes beyond Calculus I, they are quite challenging enough. I wish I’d looked at my books earlier for more of my classes… math especially.

(Bonus) 6: Eww, mud! From what I can recall, I loved mud when I was younger. “Mud castles” were one of my favorite pass-times. Making rivers and drawbridges was also fun. I do remember tramping mud into the house several times without realizing it, and then needing to clean it up. These days, I really dislike mud. Or anything slimy, for that matter. (To be fair, I’m still ok with mud. I just don’t like getting it on my clothes.)

How about you, Fluffsters? Is there anything you say that your parents would never have expected?

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Masking tape is fantastic

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday! I hope you have a wonderful week!

Masking tape is one of the most useful materials I have come across.

I thought that your world loved this thing called “duct tape”?

That’s good too, but sometimes masking tape is a lot better.

Oh?

Yes. In fact, that’s one of the things I normally keep in my backpack.

Right next to your socks?

No. First, the socks live in my purse. Second, the tape would make them sticky. But not as sticky as Duct Tape would. Which leads me to:

Five things to use Masking Tape For

1) labeling things. Ever need to label a bag? A cup? A shoe? Yourself? Write on a piece of masking tape, tear it off, and stick it on whatever you need to label. I’d suggest not using it to label your hair, but that’s just me. Duct tape is a lot more difficult to write on.

3) Remove dirt. Put the tape on the dirty spot, and pull. It might remove some of the tape, carpet, furry stuff, paint, or whatever you’re using it on, but at least it won’t leave as much residue as duct tape would.

You skipped 2.

No, I didn’t yet. I’m just reordering them.

5) Fix your broken piece of chalk. Or pencil. Take your writing implement, put it back together, and wrap it with a couple rounds of masking tape. It’s not as sticky on the outside as duct tape, and so is more comfortable to hold.

4) Hanging dorm room decorations. Not candles, of course. Those are not permitted. But masking tape can be used to hang posters, banners, or basically anything else. Duct tape is normally not permitted.

So there you go, fluffsters! Five ways to use masking tape. Have a great wee-

You still skipped number 2.

That’s because I’m leaving it up to you, Fluffsters. What is your use for masking tape that I haven’t mentioned? Preferably one where Duct Tape wouldn’t work?

I love my $5 headphones.

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Sunday!

Today, I want to talk about my normal type of headphones. I love them.

‘Panasonic RP-HT21 Lightweight Headphones with XBS Port’ Review (And they’re not even paying me to do this!)

Background

Ok. So, first, a little bit of background on me. As my post on my favorite soundtracks might have indicated, I’m a bit of a music fan. I have a tendency to like to listen to my music privately, though. (That way, if there’s a song that I really like, I can play it like 5 or 6 times in a row. It’s fun.)

I also travel a lot. I just did the calculations, and at least for the last few years, I’ve been traveling on average about once every two to three months. Since I like having music with me wherever, I go, that means I need to take headphones.

And yes, they have to be headphones. I can’t stand earbuds. They are plainly uncomfortable. And they don’t block out as much noise as the on-ear or over-ear headphones do.

I used to get $20-$40 pairs of headphones. They would be comfortable, sound great, and then break. I went through headphones about once per year. It would be a year-and-a-half if I was lucky.

I did some calculations and realized how expensive this was getting. So I did a bit of research, and made a few decisions.

First, I decided that I didn’t really need the “absolute best sound $40 can buy.” I’m reasonably fine with lower quality speakers, as long as they work and come out of both ears. (It drives me nuts when sound only comes out of one ear.)

The Headphones

I then found a pair of $5 headphones from Amazon. They’re sold from a 3rd party vendor, but they still have free shipping. And they’re only $5! I figured that I’d try them, and see how they worked. If the worked, I’d just saved between $15 & 35. If they didn’t, I’d have wasted only $5, which isn’t that expensive.

So I got the pair, and they showed up. They played sound from both ears. They weren’t that uncomfortable- and they were a lot better than ear buds. The sound quality wasn’t phenomenal, but it wasn’t atrocious either. I decided to keep them and see how long they lasted.

They lasted a year. With six or 8 rough plane trips. They were mashed up against my computer and various other junk in my backpack, transported to and from work or class every day, and they lasted pretty much an entire year. That’s about the same amount of time as my previous sets of headphones! I figured that for $5, at least while I’m still in this stage of my life where I can’t afford really good headphones, the savings totally make up for lower sound quality.

Sometimes it can be annoying when they break. First the plastic bits of the headphones break, thus eliminating the ability to control headphone length / height / whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Then the sound goes in one (or more) ear.

The very funny part came on the most recent pair of headphones. The ear on one side completely came off, while the sound didn’t work on the other- unless the wire was in exactly the right place. I actually got fairly good at jiggling the wire around to make it work. It normally involved wrapping the wire around my ear a couple of times to keep it in the right spot. Yeah, I got annoyed when people interrupted me and made me need to reset my wire next time, but at least the sound work!

panasonic headphones with an ear fallen off

My old broken Panasonic Headphones

In all, I love these headphones. I’m on, like, my third set now. They’re inexpensive, not bad quality, and they last for a while. And they’re $5. You can’t beat the price.

Happy Sunday!

Fun with Vector Art: Owl(?)

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Saturday!

I have recently discovered how much fun vector art in Photoshop can be. It’s really fun being able to move a point by about a pixel or 3, and dramatically changing the look of something.

You’ve got a strange sense of fun.

So I spent just a little time tonight and created a… something. I think it’s sort of owlish, but I’m not sure. I could be wrong.

A blue, black, and white "owl." The Webmaster has clearly never seen one in real life.

I have no CLUE what I was doing.

Regardless, I had fun with it. I may work on it a bit more. But if I do, by the time it’s done, it’ll probably be very different. You know, like with a cane and a hat. And a mustache. And maybe some eye sparkles. And who knows? It might even be breathing fire. None of these things are likely, but they’re possible, right?

So, do any of you have any name suggestions for the current critter?