Category Archives: real world

Silver Linings

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“Every cloud has a silver lining.” That’s some sort of common expression, right Fluffsters? And it’s supposed to be “happy cheery yay goodness sunshine and flowers!” in sentiment. Right?

Well I don’t get it. If every cloud has its silver lining, that is just scary.

Is this another of your “rainbows are out to get me” style conspiracies? If so, I’m leaving.

Is that a threat, or a promise?

Threat. You can’t get rid of me forever, you know. And who knows what mischief I could get up to? I might assassinate your 404 page, for example!

That… would be totally ironic.

But I digress. No, it’s not in the same exact style as the rainbows. I mean, in this instance I’m genuinely confused. Clouds with silver linings? And that’s a good thing?

I mean, there are two ways that that could happen.

1) The clouds have gaseous silver in them. If anyone came in contact with a cloud, then, they’d die. Painfully.

2) The clouds have genuine solid silver linings. In that case, the silver linings won’t stay up for very long. And instead, they’ll fall out of the sky. And probably hit some poor old granny on the head, and send her to the hospital! Or a child. Or a puppy. Any of those options would be horrible! Don’t you agree? I mean, isn’t it just a bit more than a bit disturbing?

…I thought you said this would be different from your rainbow post.

It is. For several reasons.

Oh no. You’re going to list reasons why this is different?

You asked! So here you go.

1) This is about clouds. Not rainbows. QED, it’s different from my rainbow post.

That does not count as a reaso-

2) This isn’t nearly as bad as a direct parallel would be. A direct parallel would be something like “the silver follows me everywhere I go.” Or “The NSA put the silver up there to amplify its abilities to spy on the American population.” No. This is genuine confusion, not paranoia.

So, wait. You admit that your fear of rainbows is paranoia?!

Hey, simply because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you!

…You got me there.

Yes!!

Anywho, happy Tuesday, Fluffsters! I hope your week has started well.

DIY Flower Hair Wreath

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Hello, Fluffsters!

In case you hadn’t picked up on this by now, I enjoy arts and crafts. Tonight I made a flower wreath for my hair. (Out of fake flowers, so I’ll be able to use it for an upcoming event.)

It’s not entirely finished yet, but it’s close! (I need to trim some ends, and decide whether or not to add glittery stuff. It’s going to be for a semi-earth-fairy-ish costume, so I’m potentially going to sparklify it. Regardless, I needed a flower circlet for the character, so I decided to try to DIY a flower wreath. 🙂 )

First, I went to Michaels and looked for some mini rosettes. The original plan had been to braid some of those lovely wire-stemmed miniature rosettes into a wreath. That didn’t happen, due to lack of rosettes I was looking for. So I improvised.

I instead went with these flowers:

purple and white fake flowers to be turned into a DIY hair wreath

Purple & White fake flowers

Fortunately for me, they were on a good sale, so I got them for a decent price. I actually took that picture after removing a number of the flowers (with stems) for the wreath. But that’s getting ahead of myself…

So as I was saying. I got those flowers. And then I used some wire cutters to cut individual strands as long as I could. I removed leaves and extra bunches that were at extreme angles.

I then laid about three stalks together, and somewhat braided them. The stems were not that malleable, so I used some ribbon (and later some long synthetic leaves from the white bunch of flowers) to tie the stalks together. When I got towards the end of a bunch, I put the next set on. And kept tying.

As I was doing this, I measured the wreath around my head to make sure it would fit. (That had the added bonus of building the curve into the wreath.) As I tied and measured, I did bend the stems into the proper form. They can hold the more gradual curve; they’re just not good for braiding.

When it got long enough, I tied the beginning to the end.

Here’s what I have of the wreath so far:

Top view of my hair flower wreath

Front view:

Front view of my flower circlet

I’m fairly happy with how it turned out. 🙂

How about you, Fluffsters? Have you created anything interesting lately?

“Queen” Elizabeth I?

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Sunday!

I read an absolutely fascinating article yesterday. About Queen Elizabeth I. It turns out, she might not have been a “she” after all! At least, not upon coming queen. Oh, I should just let you read it.

Wasn’t that fascinating? I never would have guessed!

Uh, Webmaster, you don’t actually believe that article, do you?

But it’s from a .uk ending.

…So?

That means it’s from the United Kingdom.

Right. And the relevance of this…?

Everybody knows that if you speak in a British accent, you sound authentic. Since this is from the United Kingdom, it must be written in a British accent. Which means it’s authentic!

…No. Just, no.

But… It’s a British accent.

Anyways, Fluffsters, I hope you have a wonderful Father’s day!

Purple Dancing Elephants

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Hello, Fluffsters!

So, I’ve noticed this odd trend on Facebook recently. A number of my friends spontaneously declare that they are Purple Dancing Elephants. Odd, right?

There are about two things wrong with your previous paragraph, Webmaster.

First, the fact that people refer to themselves as… what?

Purple Dancing Elephants. Or occasionally Purple Prancing Pachyderms.

Ah. Right. Yes.

So what’s the second problem?

YOU calling something odd.

Oh, come on. Surely I’ve called something odd before. And anyways, isn’t it a bit unexpected?

I’m not entirely sure what it even means!

Alright, so I do have a theory. Several possibilities, actually.

1) It’s a secret password. Post “I’m a purple dancing elephant” on your wall, and people will know you’re one of them. And you can now show support and solidarity for your fellow Purple Prancing Pachyderms!

2) It’s a sign of the upcoming invasion of the trans-dimensional Orange Surly Kangaroos. And it’s their secret password. You see, the Orange Surly Kangaroos, (just like you, Fluffy,) are somehow in a different dimension from ours. And the only way they can communicate is through Facebook accounts, and the users thereof! So every time someone posts that they’re a Purple Dancing Elephant, it’s a sign that the orange kangaroos have gained one more member. And before you ask, yes, it’s the Orange Surly Kangaroos. Because it’s the opposite of what people would expect! And if the kangaroos are from a different dimension, and they’re speaking in this dimension? Clearly they’re smart enough to know about reverse psychology and stuff.

Clearly.

3) Everyone who posts has spontaneously turned into a purple dancing elephant. With some sort of telepathic ability that allows them to post on Facebook, of course.

Of… course.

So, Fluffy, what are your thoughts? Why do you think people post that they’re purple dancing elephants?

Well, given that I’m inclined to doubt that people in your world spontaneously transform into large quadrupeds of abnormal coloration, I imagine your third option is out. Of the other two remaining, I think the secret password is far more likely.

From what I know of your world, though, I’m inclined to think that none of the options mentioned above are quite accurate. I think it’s far more likely that it’s just some sort of prank people pull on each other. If one person forgets to log out on another’s computer, for example, I could imagine the owner of the computer posting something ridiculous on that person’s wall.

…

Nah.

Anyways, Fluffsters, happy Saturday! Are you doing anything interesting this weekend?

Oh, and before I forget, check out my new “I’m a purple dancing elephant” design on my CafePress store! Please? I’m really happy with how the illustration turned out, the products are at a discounted rate for a week, and I’d love any feedback you can give!

Instant Fluff

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Hello, Fluffsters!

First, just a quicky reminder: I’ll be switching out products in the New and Now part of my cafepress store sometime between today and tomorrow night. (I’m not quite sure which; it’ll depend on evening activities and stuffs.) So if you want to get any “I’m not crazy; you’re just ordinary!” merchandise, now’s the time to do it!

But I digress.

Today’s topic is…

“Instant” Fluff.

Instant fluff, as I’m defining it, is fluff that you can get or make very quickly. As usual, there are multiple ways to do this.

1) Shred a napkin. Napkins are condensed fluff. Shredding mixes air in. So, voila! Instant fluff.

2) Buy marshmallow fluff. But that’s just cheating.

3) Tangle some yarn. If you mix it together, you basically get a ball of fluff. And who doesn’t like a ball of fluff? (Besides crafters, who are trying to use the yarn you’ve just tangled?)

4) Shave a bichon frise or poodle. As a reminder, those are two types of very fluffy dogs. If you shave them, the fluff comes off. So there you go, a whole lot of fluff, ready for your fluffification!

5) Read this blog. But of course, you’re already reading it. So you were probably looking for some other way to add fluff to your life. But that’s probably why I put this as the last on the list. It’s really almost not worth mentioning, is it?

So there you go! Five ways to “instantly” add fluff to your life. What other ways do you think you could add fluff?

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

…What?

It’s June 13, right? That means that it’s Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! It’s also national juggling day, but I’m going to ignore that. (Although really, who thought of putting those two on the same day? I can’t tell whether that’s genius, or cruel.)

I knew about the holidays. I’m just surprised that you found it before I could write the post! You seemed fairly oblivious to other holidays…

Yeah, well, I didn’t know about it before last night. You see, I was sortof fishing for a post subject. And this looked like it would work!

So. Here’s the post!

How to Celebrate Kitchen Klutzes of America Day

Ok. So I’m sortof figuring this out as I go. I was previously unaware of such a holiday, and so I’ve never celebrated it before. So I’m going to propose ideas for celebrating it, and I want you, fluffsters, to tell me what you think!

From my perspective, there are two different broad ways to celebrate this holiday.

First, if you’re a klutz, take this as a day in celebration of yourself. Second, if you’re not clumsy, show some appreciation for the Kitchen Klutzes.

If you go with the second option, here are a few ideas!

Idea 1: Throw pots, pans, and plates on the ground and against some walls. Nothing says “Kitchen Klutz” like a big huge mess, right? And this way you get to make loud, obnoxious noises! Best of all worlds, right?

Idea 2: Spill every drink you get the first time. So you can get a refill and try not to spill. But the first set of every drink you get, spill it all over!

Idea 3: Make spaghetti for dinner. And maybe French Fries with ketchup and mustard. And chili. And basically anything that stains. And be sure to spill it on yourself. Show solidarity with other Kitchen Klutzes, and understand what they go through on a daily basis!

And now, for celebrating your life as a kitchen klutz.

Idea 1: Cook, and don’t worry about spills! This is your day, after all! If you spill, you’re celebrating!

Idea 2: Make someone else do your cooking. What better way to celebrate being a kitchen klutz than by not making a mess?

Idea 3: Go out for all your meals. Alright, so this is more of “Idea 2b”. But yes. Go out for ALL THE MEALS! You’re a bit clumsy, so take the day off! Don’t be clumsy in the kitchen for an entire day… by avoiding the kitchen! And nobody will think worse of you for it, because it’s your day.

So, Fluffsters, no matter which category is yours, I hope you celebrate “Kitchen Klutzes of America Day” with style.

Fluffy’s Thoughts on Diamond Rings

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Hello, Fluffsters!

I have recently come across a tradition in your world which I find interesting: Gifting a future bride a diamond to celebrate the occasion.

Now, according to this article, the reasoning behind buying a diamond engagement ring is all a hoax or a sham or something like that. The article claims that it was one jewelry firm that sold the idea of a diamond ring being all-important, and single-handedly created the diamond engagement ring business in America. (I have no clue if that’s true or not.)

If it is true, that is amazing. One company? Revolutionizing how an entire country views an engagement? Wow. That takes talent.

If I were in your world, and if I were engaged, I would probably want a diamond ring, just because of that. Especially if the young man had read the article. You see, the diamond ring is now a symbol. A symbol of multiple things. In America, in common knowledge, it is a symbol of love. The future husband loves the girl enough to sacrifice a large portion of his income for her, to show his commitment. The diamond itself will last for essentially forever, thus further symbolizing the love between the two. The diamond is also the hardest substance known to man, and nearly impossible to break. The marriage should be like that.

And the extra dimensions the article added?

1) Overcoming hardship. The company seemed to doing really badly. And yet they were able to turn the hard times around, and make it through.

2) Change is possible. The diamond. The most inflexible material in the world. And it changed an entire country. One company, according to the article, changed the country. If a company can do that, couldn’t a husband and wife learn to adapt? And together, could they not impact their community in a dramatic fashion? Change is possible, and the diamond ring symbolizes that. I mean, when it comes down to it, the diamond itself is a changed form of carbon. But this article? It just adds a whole new dimension!

So, Mr. Rohin Dahr? I’m sorry! Your article just sold me on diamonds even more. Try harder next time?

Anyways, Fluffsters, have a great day!

Competitive texting, anyone?

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Hello, Fluffsters! I’m back! Sorry about storming out yesterday…

That’s ok. I did a better job than you would have.

Oh shush. It was my idea. So I get a lot of the credit. But that’s beside the point.

Ideas, actually, are my point. Because I’ve had… an idea.

That sounds really ominous.

Oh, it’s not that bad! It might cause a few casualties, but it’s not that bad.

A few casualties aren’t bad?

It really depends. You see, it might be really fun! After all, a number of people die from horseback riding. And yet nobody says that horseback riding is a bad thing.

But really, who came up with that anyways? “Hey, here’s a big animal that could crush me if it kicks me. Let’s jump on its back! And hope it doesn’t throw us off!”

But anywho. Here’s my idea:

Competitive Texting.

…what?

Yes. Texting. It’s something you can do with a handheld device called a cellph-

Yes. I know what texting is. How the brassicae fati do you plan on making it competitive?

I’m glad you asked!

Woops.

So here’s how it works:

So first, you’ll need to find a large plot of land. Any surface would work. Ooh, and you could have multiple types, and difficulties, and, oh. Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?

Yeah. You totally lost me.

Oh. Sorry.

But as I was saying. Large plot of land. Right. And then you can have an obstacle course set up there! And you could have multiple sets of obstacle courses! One, for example, would be for walkers. Another could be for driving.

So here would be how you could do it, once you’ve set up the obstacle course. You would have a competition for texters.

Competition

The competition would be judged on multiple criteria:

1) Speed of completing the course. Or getting from point A to point B. You know, typical competition stuff.

2) How many words per minute are sent via text. After all, faster texters should definitely be rewarded.

3) Quality of text message. You want to make sure that the texts aren’t just “I I I I I” over and over again, or something equally ridiculous. That would be cheating! So maybe competitors would need to pass the Turing Test while competing? That might work. This should probably take precedence over wpm, actually.

Ooh, and the obstacles could get progressively harder! Like, first it would just be a few people you’d need to get around. (For the walking course, of course.) Then there could be things like fire hydrants, tables with awkward legs that stick out, and maybe uneven curbs. And for the extreme section, you could maybe get walls that people would need to either go around or jump over! This could be FUN!

Webmaster, you’re slightly scary. I just want you to know that.

…

But yeah! I really think this has potential. I mean, it’s one of the things that people in the Millennial Generation are really good at, right? And according to some politicians these days, we really need to get more people involved in being active. So this would achieve that goal.

So what do you think, Fluffsters? New Extreme Sport?

What are your ideas for an extreme sport? Or how would you improve this one? Leave a comment below with your ideas!

What to do with the Random Pair of Socks in your Purse.

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Sunday!

Today, I’m going to be talking to you about:

What to do with the random pair of socks you find in your purse.

Ok. There’s got to be a story behind that one.

…What? Not everyone keeps a pair of socks in their purse?

Clearly not, by merit of the fact that the socks are “randomly” there.

It wouldn’t be random if they’re usually there.

Oh. Good point. Unless the socks themselves were randomly colored…?

No. So, what’s with the pair of socks in your purse?

Actually, I’m not entirely sure why I put them there this time.

This time?!

Yeah! I don’t know why they’re there this time. I don’t even remember putting them there!

Just to clarify… This is all hypothetical, isn’t it?

You don’t just randomly keep socks in your purse?

…

Anyways, here are some things you can do wi-

You’re serious?

Brassicae, why me? WHY?!

As I was saying, here are some things to do with your pair of socks!

5) Brainstorm how they got there. Did they come from the gap in the space-time continuum, and avoid getting eaten by the interdimensional rabid penguins of doom? Did they come from the black hole found in all dryers that suck away miscellaneous socks? Where? (If you figure out, do let me know?)

4) Sock puppets! Instant entertainment! Find other random junk to make faces, put on your hands, and voila! Instant sock puppet-age!

3) See how long it takes for them to start molding in your purse. Of course, that would probably end up smelling bad. And probably ruin the inside of your purse. But it is something you can do with socks!

What is it with you and mold?

2) Wear them. Assuming they aren’t part of your mold collection, of course. Because that would just be gross otherwise.

1) Write a blog post about them. And then talk about things you can do with them.

…

You were serious.

Yup! I found a random pair of socks in my purse, and I’m not sure how they got here this time. So, fluffsters, any recommendations? Or thoughts on how they got there?

And happy Sunday! I hope you have a wonderful week!

Make a Room Messy in 7 Easy Steps

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Friday! (Weekend, yes!)

First of all, I just wanted to remind you quickly that today’s the last day to get a “You Look Comfortable. Let me change that” with a penguin on it merchandise at the current price. I’ll be adding something new to the New and Now section tomorrow, and moving those to the normal priced part of the store. So you should check it out!

Second, today’s post!

I’ve been thinking. There are a few things that I am really good at-

Because that’s not arrogant…

-and I’m going to give instructions for how to do one of those things. Specifically

How to make a room messy in 7 easy steps.

…what?

Yup! One of my skills is making things messy. It comes naturally to me, and I’m good at it.

1) Pick a room. This is an important step. Don’t skimp on this step. If this is your first time messy-ing a room, go with a smaller room. You probably want only one clutter-y surface.

2) Measure the open space. You don’t have to actually measure with a measuring tape or anything like that. Measuring it by eye also works.

3) Guesstimate how many items you’ll need.

4) Add 4. That’s how many items you’ll probably end up using.

5) Start doing something that requires *something*. This could be reading, it could be using your computer, or anything. The easiest is to do a craft.

6) Do not put your supplies away. Instead, place it tastefully, even artfully, on your open surface.

7) Repeat steps 1-6. When you have what looks like enough items to qualify as a “mess”, repeat once more. Just for good measure.

And that, fluffsters, is one method to make a room messy. Have fun!