Author Archives: Webmaster

New CafePress Design (6/7/13)

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Saturday!

It’s a bit late, but did you know that yesterday was National Donut Day? I didn’t before I wrote yesterday’s post, or I would have mentioned it. Anyways, did you participate in the festifities? I had a half a stale chocolate-covered buttermilk bar. Not nearly as good as merely a glazed buttermilk bar, but still quite tasty.

But I digress.

I drew a picture last night! It didn’t turn out quite like I’d hoped, but it’s still similar(ish) to what I had in mind.

A crazy artistic owl going overboard with paints

I really wonder what he’s trying to draw…

And, because it’s the weekend, I’ve updated my CafePress shop. The “You Look Comfortable” designs have moved to the Total Fluff Original Designs section, and I’ve added a new design to the New and Now section. Basically, the design is that image above, with the caption “I’m not crazy. You’re just ordinary!” For this week, products with that design are in the discounted New and Now section. So get them before next week, and save!

Brassicae fati, Webmaster. Did you really just sound like an infomercial?

…Woops. Sorry, Fluffsters!

To make up for that, here’s an offsite link to a “pointer pointer.” Trust me, you need to visit this site. It’s pretty amusing.

Anywho, Happy Saturday! I hope you have a good one. (And congratulations to any of you who are getting married! I know of at least two who occasionally visit here. So, again, congratulations!)

Make a Room Messy in 7 Easy Steps

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Friday! (Weekend, yes!)

First of all, I just wanted to remind you quickly that today’s the last day to get a “You Look Comfortable. Let me change that” with a penguin on it merchandise at the current price. I’ll be adding something new to the New and Now section tomorrow, and moving those to the normal priced part of the store. So you should check it out!

Second, today’s post!

I’ve been thinking. There are a few things that I am really good at-

Because that’s not arrogant…

-and I’m going to give instructions for how to do one of those things. Specifically

How to make a room messy in 7 easy steps.

…what?

Yup! One of my skills is making things messy. It comes naturally to me, and I’m good at it.

1) Pick a room. This is an important step. Don’t skimp on this step. If this is your first time messy-ing a room, go with a smaller room. You probably want only one clutter-y surface.

2) Measure the open space. You don’t have to actually measure with a measuring tape or anything like that. Measuring it by eye also works.

3) Guesstimate how many items you’ll need.

4) Add 4. That’s how many items you’ll probably end up using.

5) Start doing something that requires *something*. This could be reading, it could be using your computer, or anything. The easiest is to do a craft.

6) Do not put your supplies away. Instead, place it tastefully, even artfully, on your open surface.

7) Repeat steps 1-6. When you have what looks like enough items to qualify as a “mess”, repeat once more. Just for good measure.

And that, fluffsters, is one method to make a room messy. Have fun!

Finished Hippocampus Statuette

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Thursday! (Almost the weekend. Yes!)

As I’m sure you remember from yesterday, I’ve been working on a polymer-clay project. Well, I painted it last night, so I think it’s finished!

mottled hippocampus polymer clay statuette

Front view of the hippocampus statuette

Side view of the polymer clay horse-fishey statuette I made

Side view of the polymer clay horse-fishey statuette I made

I hope you enjoy! I’d love to hear any feedback you have.

Meanwhile, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week!

Inspiration in Myth

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Blast it, Fluffy, I spent all day yesterday, and I couldn’t find what you changed! WHAT DID YOU CHANGE?

Now, Webmaster, be reasonable. Did I ever actually say that I changed anything?

You mean y-you, why I ought to-

Yeah. No. That was just to get you out of the way. And careful, in front of the Fluffsters!

Oh my- This is a post?

Uh, hi Fluffsters! How are you doing today? Happy Wednesday!

As you can tell, I’m a bit annoyed at Fluffy for lying to me-

I never actuall-

-but that’s beside the point.

Today, I’m going to show you the first parts of a new project that I’m working on.

Clay Hippocampus (from Greek Mythology)

Hippocampi were a sort of fish-like horse. Think head and body of a horse, except only with arms, and it also has a tail. And gills/fins.

Not dissimilar to this:

Hippocampus/horse-fishy swimming.

Hippocampus-like swimming creature

So when I finally had time (and resources) to try to create a polymer clay statuette, I decided to go with this type of creature.

First, I built a wire frame. I then wrapped it (and shaped it) with aluminum foil. I put masking tape around that, to make sure that if I needed to remove the clay for some reason, the foil wouldn’t come with the clay…

wire, tinfoil, and masking-tape hippocampus

Framework for Hippocampus. My apologies about sideways-ness…

I then put the base-clay on, and added details.

base coat of clay and details on the Hippocampus: Front

base coat of clay and details on the Hippocampus: Front

base coat of clay and details on the Hippocampus: side view

base coat of clay and details on the Hippocampus: side view. Like the mane?

Finally, I baked it.

Baked Hippocampus statuette

Baked Hippocampus statuette

Later today, I hope to add paint. I’m intending to use a very dark blue, and maybe some gold. I’m thinking about putting a metallic white coat over the entire thing. Thoughts on the metallic?

Happy Wednesday! You’re almost half-way done with the week!

The Phoenix and the Pineapple

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Greetings, Fluffsters! It has been too long since I’ve written a post.

You could have written yesterday’s…

You got there first. Besides, I like to keep my changes subtle. Like the change I did to- oh, right. I shouldn’t be telling you.

Change? What change? Where?

Oh, nothing… Pretend I didn’t say anything.

What did you change?

You don’t honestly think I’m going to tell you, do you?

Gah! Excuse me, Fluffsters. I’m going to try to track down Fluffy’s change…

 

Huh, that was effective.

Now, while she’s off on her wild goose chase, I’m going to tell you a story.

The Phoenix and the Pineapple

Once, a long time ago, one the Phoenixem had recently been reborn from the flames. It was a young phoenix, and had only celebrated its rebirth five times previously.

Now, each phoenix gains time between its rebirths. In fact, it may go up to as many months without a rebirth as it has had rebirths. So a new phoenix would burn into a new egg within a month. A Second Generating phoenix could wait up to two months. Of course, if something happened to it, it would instantly go up in flames into another egg. But no phoenix could enjoy its current generation for longer. The memories would survive each birth, and the personality would remain the same.

This young phoenix, as mentioned previously, just celebrated its fifth rebirth. It had lived, therefore, for nearly ten months. That of course is very young for a phoenix.

Within two days after its rebirth, the young phoenix decided to explore.

On wings of flame, it shot towards the skies- a comet in the clouds. Everyone who saw it watched with delight. There were only a few of the Phoenixem in existence. To watch one fly was said to bring Luck- both good and bad, for all magics were attracted to the Phoenixem – but the observers cared not. The spectacular beauty outweighed any potential negative effects.

That very day, a single seed fell in the spot of the Phoenix’s rebirth. The magics in the area sparked it to life, and out of the ground grew a slim pineapple plant. The plant absorbed the magics of the Phoenix, and glowed with an inner beauty. Rumors of this pineapple flew on the winds. Soon all had heard of it. Rumors abounded. Some claimed it would bring the dead back to life. Others claimed it would spontaneously combust. Before long, a crowd gathered around the plant. Half wanted to pluck the fruit and taste it; the other half were ready to defend it.

Finally, someone thought of the phoenix.

“It is a portent!” the villager said. “The Phoenix flew overhead, and the tree appeared! The Phoenix has not forgotten us; it left this in its place, to attract the magics!”

The villager was, of course, wrong. The Phoenix was young, and so had not intentionally drawn anything near its nesting ground. But none of the other members of the mob knew this.

“We must let it stand!” another villager said. “Eventually, it will ripen and fall on its own. Once that happens, we will see what it brings!”

And the villagers agreed. Although many still desired to pick it, they realized the folly of harvesting magic prematurely. And so they let the plant stand, and posted an honor guard, night and day, to watch the plant.

This lasted for 76 days.

On the 77th day, the Phoenix returned to its roost.

It came again on wings of flame, and the guards scattered. Although the phoenixem are peaceful, they may unintentionally harm others, for their flame is fierce.

When the phoenix returned to its roost, it noticed the plant with surprise and delight. It compared itself to the plant, and saw the inner glow. Slowly, the phoenix crept closer to the plant, still very curious.

It tilted its head around, to examine the plant better. It then finally understood. Despite the fact that it was glowing, the fruit was a pineapple!

A phoenix with its head nearly upside down

The phoenix tilted its head. It finally recognized the pineapple!

In the phoenix’s time abroad, it had come across the exquisite fruit multiple times before. It had developed quite the taste for them.

Without thinking about it further, the phoenix clawed the fruit open, and took a bite.

Delicious. The fruit was hot, sweet, and everything the phoenix looked for in a pineapple.

As soon as it removed he last vestiges of the fruit from the plant, to the phoenix’s surprise, the tree spontaneously combusted. In its place, a new seedling arose.

The phoenix smiled in delight, as only a bird can. The seed had gained some of the same magic of the Phoenixem! The fruit would regenerate!

And so the phoenix lived happily ever after with its fiery fruit.

The end.

Happy Tuesday, Fluffsters! Fare thee well, and I hope you have a marvelous day.

5 Things to Do In the Summer

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Hello, Fluffsters!

Did you know it’s only 17 days until Summer? That means that you need to start your Summer To-Do list!

So, here are:

Five things you can (try to) do over summer.

5) Clean the house. That way, you’ll be able to hide the bodies better.

No, that’s not quite true. It’s much easier to hide the bodies behind stacks of things.

… Moving on.

4) Get a sunburn. And after you get your sunburn, you might get a) skin cancer, or b) a darker tan. (Or if you’re me, c) a skin-rash. Yes, I’m allergic to sunshine.)

3) Learn a new skill. Even if it’s only “Heat Survival.” or “Competitive Couch Sitting.” Summer presents a time for you to try something new! (Actually, any day really does that. But I digress.)

2) Become an expert in something. For example, why is “Orange” orange? What is the history of the word? How about orange dyes? How are they made? Is there significance in its use throughout history, or in art? (If you find out these things, do leave a comment and let me know?)

1) Paint Mount Everest. That will take a lot of paint, though. Given that Mount Everest is about 29,000 feet high, and there would be a lot of permits, that might actually be a bit too ambitious for the summer. But at least the temperature would be cooler!

Anywho. So, what are five of your goals for the summer? What are five things you want to do?

June 2

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Dear Fluffsters,

Did you know that on June 2, it rained? It also (probably) snowed. And maybe hailed, and thunderstormed, and was the sunniest, most disgusting day of the year so far. Probably not in the same place, though. Maybe not even in the same year.

But I digress.

June 2. 6/2 There’s got to be something specific about June 2… Fluffy? Any thoughts?

6/2, you say? Well, 6/2 = 3. No matter what base of mathematics you’re working in. After all, you need to get into a second digit to really play with bases. But I’m not sure how that relates to the date.

Ooh, I do! That means-

-Oh shoot. I shouldn’t have said that… Here we go.

-That that 6/2 = 3. Always. So June 2 equals 3. Which means that either June 2 is the third day of the year, the third day of the week, the third week of the month, or can simply be represented as the number “3”.

What? No! Ok. So what about September 3? Or December 4? Or even March 1? Those are 9/3=3, 12/4=3, and 3/1=3.

You know, you’re right. I hadn’t thought about that.

 

That must mean- that means-

I GOT IT!

They’re all THE SAME DAY!

I’m going to need to start recording things. Because if March 1 = June 2 = September 3 = December 4, that could have catastrophic influences!

…That haven’t happened yet? How do you figure?

…I’m working on that.

Anywho, happy Sunday! I hope you have a great week.

You look comfortable. Let me change that.

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Hello, Fluffsters.

I can’t tell you how glad I am that the challenge thing is over!

Now I expect to do a few more of the posts, again. And maybe we’ll actually go back to decent, pure fluff content, not all of the “what is comfortable” stuff.

On a related note, after all of those “comfort” posts of the month, I think you look comfortable. Let me change that. Here’s a picture of a deranged penguin.

A slightly loopy looking penguin

I’m not sure this penguin’s entirely sane…

And I just realized, that might make a good t-shirt! Give me a moment… And another… and… HERE WE GO!

New and Now

For a limited time, t-shirts, and other miscellaneous items with that design, are on sale in my CafePress shop. (Found in the “New and Now” section.)

So, thoughts: Should I have one with just the penguin? How about just “You look comfortable. Let me change that.”? Should I try to do an owl instead?

Comments are welcome and appreciated!

Happy Saturday, Fluffsters!

Boring Things I’m Calling Comfortable (6/6): Finishing

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Hello, Fluffsters! With this post, I’m DONE WITH THIS CHALLENGE! BWAHAHAHA!

Because of that, I’m turning “finishing” into my boring thing I’m writing about as comforting.

The Comfort of Finishing

It’s seriously a comfort to be done with finishing stuff. Seriously. And this week, I’ve finished (or will have finished) a lot of things. I got a lot of paperwork turned in so that I’ll be making money this summer (yay!), I’m going to be finishing a class in literature, I’ve just finished a paper, and all sorts of other things.

Those are now no longer hanging over my head, and have freed me up to think of random questions! And other topics!

So, I do have a question. What would a bird bath for Phoenixes look like? Would it still be water? Or burning oil?

Also, if there are emergency defibrillators, are there normal defibrillators? And do defibrillators remove all deceptions, or just minor ones?

You lost me on that one.

Well, a fib is a small lie. So a deFIBrillator would be something that removes fibs, right? But what about larger lies? Does that require a heavier duty delierillator? (Would a Delyrerelator get rid of stringed musical instruments?)

Any thoughts, Fluffsters?

Anyways. I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Happy Friday!

Boring Things I’m Calling Comfortable (5/6): Breathing

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Thursday! Hooray, just one more “comfort” post after this one!

Today’s boring/comfortable topic is:

Why breathing is comfortable.

AKA, 5 important things about breathing.

The first reason is obvious.

1) If you don’t breathe, your lungs start a civil war. That’s right. Keep your lungs happy. Don’t start wars. Breathe.

Wait, wait, wait. WHAT?!

Empty lungs start civil wars. Within your body. The lungs and the brain have an epic show-down. Lungs say: “Yo, brain! Give us some air, or we kill you!” And Brain is like, “Yeah, maybe, but I dunno.” And Lungs are all like “Fine! I’ll KILL YOU!” And Brain is all like, “Wait, what? No need to actually get violent.” And Lungs say, “You have been warned! We have now DESTROYED SOME OXYGEN! If you don’t cooperate, YOU’LL BE NEXT!” And Brain says, “Ack! I didn’t mean it! Don’t give me Carbon Dioxide Poisoning! Here, you can breathe!” and that’s how the civil war ends. And if you’re not careful, the liver will get involved. And your spleen.

You know, I think that may have beat out even your Creeper Rainbow post…

Pft. You.

Anyways, this leads to:

1b) If you don’t breathe, you don’t live very long. This, in my mind, is a problem.

I think I’ll actually not argue with that one…

…Thanks. I’m glad you agree that not-dying is a good thing.

2) If you do breathe, your lungs are happy. And if your lungs are happy, they form alliances with your brain, and your happy hormones. And stuffs. So happy lungs = happy you. So breathe, and make your lungs happy!

3) Breathing is music. Breathing naturally has a rhythm to it (at least when you’re not paying attention to it.) Rhythm is an element of many forms of music. So breathing is clearly music. And since music has all sorts of comforting elements, it’s as though your lungs are calming the rest of your body. So your body might be saying “I want to DESTROY!!1one!” and your lungs are saying, “Ooh, listen to this pretty music.” So your body goes. “Oh. Whoops. No destroyingness today! We’re HAPPY!”

Seriously. Why. Do. I. Try.

Webmaster, what are you even thinking?!

Uh, “thinking?” Define this “thinking” you write of?

…You know, that actually explains a lot.

Anywho.

5) If you don’t breathe, your lungs and nose and mouth stop talking to each other. And you have no idea about resolving conflicts between those three! It’s an absolute nuisance. Breathing keeps them communicating with each other, which is comfortable.

So there you go, Fluffsters! Reasons why the boringness of breathing is actually comfortable.

And don’t forget, I’m really, genuinely looking for feedback on my new CafePress store! Please?