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Scary Things / Halloween Decorations 4: Lost WiFi

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Hiya, Fluffsters! Can you believe it’s Wednesday already? Only one more day left in the series! (After this one, of course.)

Today’s post is truly frightening.

One of the scariest things in the (first) world: Lost WiFi.

Think about it. You’re on your computer, watching your funny cat photos, when, WHAM! No. WiFi. No. Internet. This is terrifying, for several reasons!

1) Disconnect from your social life. What if someone is trying to email you? You’ll not see it for another while, until the internet comes back!

2) Disconnect from real world events. No breaking news about celebrities. No twitter updates from your friends a few hundred miles away who are experiencing an earthquake five seconds before it reaches you, which would have given you enough time to run around frantically for a whole FIVE SECONDS LONGER as you try to remember proper procedures for earthquakes!

3) You need to face reality. Or at least a more tangible one. Or a non internet one. Granted, you could read a book and still escape real life, or play a (gasp!) on-your-machine computer game like solitaire. But really, who does that?

Yes, I think it’s safe to say that lost WiFi is one of the scariest things. It’s a bit hard to decorate with, but I think you can do it.

Decorating with a “Lost WiFi” Theme

1) Print out large versions of this symbol:

no internet symbol

NO INTERNET!!!

Actually, that’s about all I can think of right now. Maybe place that sign strategically between the “bugs in your code” posters I suggested yesterday? Huh.

Well, happy Wednesday!

Scary Things / Halloween Decorations 3: Cheerful Greetings

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Greetings, Fluffsters! Happy Tuesday! I hope you’re having a FANTASTIC week so far!

…Oh, no. Please, tell me you didn’t take my comment yesterday about peppy greetings seriously.

…

Actually, today’s post is, in fact, about the next of scary things in this series:

Overly Cheerful Morning Greetings

Here are several reasons why:

1) There are few people scarier than morning people. I’m looking at you, miss “I wake up at 5:00 every morning so that I can run 20 miles, clean my room, study Descartes, solve Nuclear Physics, and do my hair / nails / makeup perfectly before breakfast” person! You’re too insane. And cheerful mornings are a way of coming across as someone who does that.

2) It’s in the Bible.

Proverbs 27:14: Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice,
rising early in the morning,
will be counted as cursing.

So, yes. It’s biblical that too-early morning greetings are scary.

…ok. I might grant you those. How do you decorate with a Cheerful Greeting, though?

There are several ways I can think of right now, actually.

Halloween Stuff to Do with Cheerful Greetings

1) Intersperse Hallmark greeting cards with your other decorations. The cognitive dissonance will be a bit much for any visitors.

2) Print out overly cheerful spooks / monsters / etc., and give them speech bubbles of cheerfulness. A scary monster… who’s cheerful? Odd. And freaky. Think about it. Even in books where monsters are friendly (*coughtwilightcough*) the creatures are gothic. They’re not bright, bubbly, OMG HI YOU’RE HERE LETS PLAY!!1!!1 types. Which is a bit odd, really, since that would be more of an indication of psychopathy in the monsters. So the books where monsters are evil should really have a lot more cheerful, morning monsters. And then you could print out posters of the characters, and incorporate cheerful greetings into your Halloween decorations.

3) Or, just dress like one of those characters who may not exist yet. Granted, that’s not strictly decoration. But I still think it qualifies.

Well, happy Tuesday! Can you think of anything I missed, Fluffsters? Or have you decorated this way before? If so, I’d love to see it.

***bonus***

Well, I just thought of a way to decorate with extra cheerfulness that would also be frightening.

Take a sheet ghost, with its cheerful speech bubble, and give it a feather boa. Feather boas are frightening to begin with. Throw in peppiness and mix it with Halloween, and I think you’ve got the winning scary decorations.

Scary Things / Halloween Decorations 2: College Websites

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Hello again, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

So… your next post in the “scary things” series- is it on greeting people? And wishing them a happy Monday in a too cheerful manner?

…No. But that’s actually a good idea! Maybe I’ll do that next year.

Today’s post is actually about one of the genuinely scariest things on the face of this earth:

College Websites.

Pause for a moment. Think about it. You know it’s true. Especially if you’ve tried to navigate one before.

You know what? You’re actually right. Those things are scary.

Thanks, Fluffy! It’s nice to have outside confirmation.

How College Websites are Scary

1) You get lost too easily. Frequently, a college or university website is nothing more than a set of miniature websites jammed together into a “single” website. There’s no rhyme or reason, and broken links abound.

2) You can’t even find anything. Seriously. Most of the time, rather than actually using the site to find someone, like a specific professor’s website or anything, I use Google. Here’s a useful tip for you, actually: If at the beginning of your Google search you put (site:sitename.ending keyword1) that tells Google to search just that site. So for example, if you want to find information about getting a Ph.D from Harvard in economics, you’d type site:harvard.edu phd economics . It helps. It’s certainly a lot easier than trying to click your way around to the econ department site!

3) They can determine your future. If you can’t find out how to apply to an undergraduate program, you can’t go to that program for your degree. If the site crashes as you’re trying to upload an application or trying to pay for an application, it might not work. Then your application wouldn’t go through, and you won’t get into the school, and your life might be worse off.

4) They suck away your money. Applications are expensive. College websites are responsible for applications and charging you for them. So therefore the university websites take your money from you.

In other words, college websites are scary, and totally worth being used as Halloween decorations.

…Ok, you got me. How do you use a website as decoration?

I’m glad you asked!

Using A College Website as Halloween Decorations

There are several ways you could do this.

1) Print off the homepage. Some universities should seriously reconsider the graphics artists they invested in. Just looking at the homepage is enough to make one cringe.

…says the person who designed a site to look like a baby-yarn star exploded onto the web.

This website’s at least tasteful, ok?

It’s not like a school that uses pictures of the grounds in the background… in such a way that the pictures can’t even be seen fully.

Oh Redevki. Some school sites actually do that?

“Redevki”?

Oh, sorry. It’s a mild expletive on my world. It’s comparable to your “Oh My”, but a little bit stronger.

Ah.

But yes. I’m not going to inflict that link upon you. Needless to say, though, it would make a halloween decoration too scary to behold.

2) Print off the 404 links on pages that you need to access. Then paint an evil face on it. Maybe fold it, and make it look as though it’s coming to eat your soul. I tell you, the 404 errors will get you every time.

Weird… You’re actually writing stuff I agree with this post.

It had to happen some time. Don’t get used to it.

3) Create a slideshow of the code. Especially areas where the website uses any sort of inline styling. I realize this just went over the heads of anyone who doesn’t do website stuff, but trust me: it will make every (decent) web developer cringe to look at.

3b) Draw bugs over your slides of the code. That way you can demonstrate genuine bugs in the code. This gives you the added bonus of the evilness of a pun!

4) Require guests for a party to print off a particular page that you describe as their ticket. Or as the way they get candy. Granted, this isn’t strictly decoration related. It’s still Halloween themed, though, so I’m including it.

But there you go, fluffsters! Some more information about the scariness known as university websites.

Starch Three Ways

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Hello again, Fluffsters! Happy Thursday!

Once again, I’m going to be lazy and take advantage of foodish type things that happened at the cafeteria I go to regularly. Today’s demonstration is of dinner a couple days ago. I now present:

Starch 3 ways!

a meal served by the dining service- couscous, pasta, and bread.

A balanced meal. Starch is evenly distributed throughout the entire meal!

The three main parts were bread, a “chicken Parmesan pasta bake”, and couscous. In other words, starch, starch with a bit of protein mixed in, and starch with a few veggies.

I’m guessing that it qualified as “balanced” for three reasons:

1) Technically, it included vegetables and meat. Even though they were very difficult to find.

2) We have “Itallian”ish bread, a grain from North Africa, and a purely American invention. (I’m quite sure the Italians would be cringing at what’s been done to the pasta.)

3) Most importantly, it’s well balanced on the plate. The center of mass remained at the approximate center of the plate, so it’s therefore balanced.

So, Fluffsters, can you think of any other ways that this meal is able to be considered balanced?

Rapunzel (Take Two)

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So, I was thinking about the movie Tangled. And I have some

Unanswered Questions from Tangled

1) How did Mother Gothel know what song to sing to the flower? Does she just randomly sing to flowers, hoping that one of them will heal her of some disease?

Why are there no more flowers like this? Did the flower not have seeds? Why did the king’s men completely kill the plant? Couldn’t they have kept a small clipping for future use?

3) If Mother Gothel’s life was tied to the power of the flower… well, where did the power go? Why did she die right then, instead of of dying at “the time she would have” after having been regenerated most recently?

What about you, readers? Are there any other questions you think are not answered about Tangled?

Things that Make Dances Fun

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Sunday!

About a week ago, I was fortunate enough to be able to spend the weekend at a variety of ballroom & swing dance party thingies. It was a lot of fun, for a variety of reasons. (Heads up, any male readers- this post is primarily for the girls who read this.)

So, here are some reasons why I had fun.

1) There were some fun girls to talk to. Even when I was between guys asking me to dance, there were a group of people to hang out with and chat with. That was a fun part of the night!

2) I got asked to dance! That, of course, is the main reason why people go to dances. Presumably. At least, that’s why I did. I’m really enjoying learning Ballroom and Swing. Especially waltz, and other fun, twirly/fast or extremely dramatic types.

Why does your love of twirling not surprise me?

What’s that supposed to mean?

Oh, nothing… Nothing at all.

Hmm… Somehow, I’m not sure I believe you.

3) Getting to “Pretty Up”. There’s something really nice about the opportunity to try a fancy hairstyle (I got a friend to help, for once… I’m extremely picky about who touches my hair) and I did makeup nicely, and got to wear a pretty skirt or dress. Two nights in a row! It was fantastic.

4) Twirly Skirts. It’s a pity for the guys that only girls get to spin while wearing flowy, twirly skirts. There’s something really fun about it, that’s really hard to describe.

5) Spontaneous Line-Dances between “partner” dances. There was still partner dancing going on while my friends and I did a couple of line dances, but it was still a lot of fun. There was one where we didn’t exactly do a prescribed dance, per say, but we sort of made something up, and everyone else who wasn’t ballrooming at the time joined us. It was a lot of fun, and I highly recommend learning how to linedance with some friends at dance parties you go to.

6) Good food / drink. Nothing says “party” to me quite like non-alcoholic sickeningly sweet lemonade or fruit punch. And cookies. Even if you get crumbses all over the place, it’s part of the festive party atmosphere that makes dances fun.

There you have it, folks!

Where “it” is one of the fluffiest fluff posts in a while?

… where “it” is a list of things that make dances fun.

Right. That’s what I said.

What? That is not- oh, never mind.

Happy Sunday, Fluffsters! I hope you have a great week!

Poetry Analysis: The Guy in the Glass

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Greetings, Readers! I wish you a joyous Monday.

I recently came across a poem that is apparently quite popular at chapel / meaningful events. I can somewhat see why, but I think it’s a little undeserved.

The poem is called “Guy in the Glass” or “Man in the Glass“.

Oh, that one! yes, my chapel speaker used that one yesterday.

Yes. As I said, it seems to be a popular piece for “meaningful” events.

This seems to have all the requirements for such an event. After all, it has:

1) An “inspirational” moral message. Don’t look to others for approval. You need to be able to look yourself in the eye. This is a plausible message. For, when you consider it, not all in the world understand precisely what you have done. Only you know your innermost secrets, and so therefore only you can truly know whether you are worthy of looking at yourself in the eye.

2) Predictable rhymes. The first “end word” is self. You can guess that it’s going to rhyme with “yourself.” More predictably, the second “end word” is “day.” It’s a safe bet that the last line will end with “say.” “Wife” rhymes with “life”, “guy” with “eye”, and on. This makes it easier for people to read aloud at inspirational events, and therefore helps the flow of the speech continue smoothly.

Those are the two basic requirements for an “inspirational speech poem” that I’ve come across.

How about you, readers? Can you think of any that belong on the list and are not here? Are they ones that “Guy in the Glass” meets? Or do they actually break the “Guy in the Glass” as inspirational poem deal?

Fuzzy Slippers (2)

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Wednesday! Wow, can you believe it’s Wednesday again already?

Anyways. Today, I’m continuing the series from yesterday, and writing about:

Fuzzy Slippers (part 2)

Slippers with and without “sticky” Soles

Yes, that’s my next set of “two” comparisons. You can either get slippers with high friction stuff on them, or not. The amount of non-friction stuff you get also varies.

All-rubber Soled Slippers.

These have their place. They are not always too objectionable, either. In fact, my main pair of genuine slippers has rubber soles.

There are several advantages to this type of slipper.

1) You don’t fall on wood or tile floors. That, of course, is usually a plus.

…Usually?

Right. Usually. I’m sure there are certain instances when people would want to fall. Gravity checks, for example.

Ok, you’ve got me. What are “gravity checks”? Is that when

Heavens, no! Gravity checks are a public service whereby a person limits muscle control in order to ensure that gravity is still working. At the same time, they also usually end up examining the floor.

You mean they fall down.

That’s a less graceful way to put it, but yes. So, rubber soled slippers make gravity checks a bit harder. But moving on.

2) Sturdy soles allow you to wear your slippers outside. This allows you to use your slippers as props for movies. After all, how are you going to film a movie in Suburbia if you can’t go get your newspaper in your bath robe and slippers?

That’s about it for the advantages of sticky soles that I can think of.

Partially Sticky Soled Slippers

Basically, there are two advantages.

1) fewer accidental gravity checks, and

2) they take less room than the completely sticky-soled slippers. (Try saying that quickly three times in a row!) But it’s true. There are some slippers that have just a little bit of flexible, sticky stuff on the soles. These are still very compact slippers, and take less room than the full-rubber-soled slippers that cannot bend.

Non-Sticky-Soled Slippers

Aren’t these normally referred to as “socks”?

…They’re fuzzier than most socks. So maybe, but it doesn’t matter. They still have advantages. Such as:

1) SLIPPER SLIDING!! If you can stand on a slippery surface somewhere, you can also slide on it. Just take a running start, and… SLIDE! Fluffy slippers like that are the best for sliding.

2) Extra-Super-Hyper-Compact. These are slippers you can take with you anywhere. In fact, you probably should take them with you wherever you go, since they can also serve as packing material! Do you have a book you don’t want getting crushed? Pack your slippers around them! Do you want a pillow? Lean back against a slipper!

WHAT? No. Just no. That’s gross.

Ok, yeah. Maybe you shouldn’t use them as a pillow.

Packing material is still legit though.

So there you go, Fluffsters! I hope you enjoyed the analysis of this dichotomy of fuzzy slippers. Have a great rest of your weak!

Fun Facts You Never Knew About September

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy last day of September!

I guess that is more reasonable than wishing people a “happy Monday…”

That may be true, but when has that ever stopped me?

…Good point.

Well, anywho. That’s sort of off topic for the post. Because, you see, this post is on:

Fun Facts You Never Knew About September

…Which you probably gathered from the title. But oh well.

Yes.

1) September starts with an “S.” This might not seem like an interesting fact, until you realize that it’s the only month that starts with an “s”. In fact, it’s one of only two months to have an S in it.

2) It originally comes from “sept” which is a form of the word for serpent.

Uh, are you sure you don’t actually mean “septem” or “seven”, for the seventh month?

Yes, I’m sure I don’t mean seven. It’s not the seventh month, after all! That would just be silly to name it after the number 7, when it’s the ninth month.

No. You see, what happened was that it started off as serpent. Then serpent went to Srpnt, which really looked too much like “spent.” Due to a rise of anti-consumerism in the world, and possibly due to religious folks and the rise of Indiana Jones (and therefore a fear of snakes), the r and the n got dropped. It then went to spt. In order to clarify that the word was not “spat”, the people in charge of these things decided to add an “e” into the word. Hence, Sept. So we now have September. Which, when you think about it, sounds a lot better than “Serpentember.”

3) There are a number of traditional holidays in September. These include “Welcome Pumpkin Spice” day, held on the day when day and night are equal time. This is held in honor of the traditional vegetable flavor, in partial penance for all the junk eating we will do in the later months. By celebrating a vegetable this month, we pretend to be healthy and soothe our consciences.

So, I have not heard of that holiday. Given that I’m very good friends with Google, are you sure you know correctly about that one?

Positive. I’ve seen it celebrated. There’s even a movie coming out about it!

…I’m still skeptical.

Whatever.

4) All food that is orange gets you double bonus points in September, after the Pumpkin Spice celebration. Fact. Every goldfish cracker is worth twice as many points as it usually is. Same with carrots, pumpkins, fall leaves, and carrot cake frosting.

Now I know you’re making stuff up. Points for foods you eat? What is this? And eating fall leaves? Webmaster, can you please explain what you’re talking about?

…Oh, look at the time.

Well, Happy Last Day of September, folks! I hope you enjoy your orange foods and pumpkin spice, and avoid being bitten by one of the snakes this month was named after. Bye!